


Make Me Like You

by Butidoevenknow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, F/M, FYI, M/M, Mostly Klance, Other, Slow Burn, TATTOO ARTIST AND SLIGHTLY EDGIER TATTOO ARTIST AU, This is, Voltron, a lot of sexual jokes, also a shit ton of texting, also badly written kissing, another shitty au by me, anyway, apprentices, but its there, clueless, ill update the tags as i go, keith is just, klance, lance is bi, lots of piercings, now that i think about it, or will be, pidge is nonbinary and savage, piercings????, the shallura in this is def background, theres really gross sappy texting, u can suffer w me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8441185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butidoevenknow/pseuds/Butidoevenknow
Summary: Lance is an aspiring tattoo artist, who is not too terribly covered in said tattoos. Keith, on the other hand, is definitely covered in them. And it's terrible for Lance. Sort of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you read this ily v much
> 
> title is based off of a line from guess what?? Make Me Like You - Gwen Stefani

 

 

Lance was _slightly_ confused on how exactly he went from playing an innocent game of Monopoly with Hunk to getting a tattoo at some shitty parlor at 2 in the morning. Emphasis on the shitty. It was probably an unlicensed place, and Lance -again- has no idea how the _fuck_ he got to that point. Not that he didn't ever want a tattoo, but he would've definitely preferred being conscious when he picked one. Maybe the words "I bet you..." clanging around in the back of his head had something to do with it. 

 

"Hunk." Lance groans into his pillow. 

 

"Morning. How's your arm?"

 

"Fucking stings?" Lance winces and Hunk shrugs.

 

Lance throws his pillow to the foot of his bed, sitting up. Hunk's hunched over his laptop, likely writing up an essay for one of his multiple classes. Hunk probably wouldn't make a bet involving getting a tattoo, Lance thinks. Hunk is undeniably more responsible than Lance, if not at least better with time management.

 

"Creepy artist girl said you could take your bandages off within a few hours. It's been a few hours." Hunk states, looking over at Lance for a fleeting moment. Lance recalls Hunk picking his tattoo, and panic floods over him, practically shooting out of bed and into the bathroom, "Goddamn, is this bandaged... is this bandaged with scotch tape? Jesus Hunk, you _let_ them tattoo me? I'm probably riddled with disease now!"

 

"You insisted, because you're broke as hell and she was super cheap." Hunk argues from the other room. Lance sobs, "I was half asleep, Hunk. Monopoly tires me."

 

Lance taps at the bandage, before carefully peeling it off and taking a breath, hoping Hunk didn't curse him with some stupid thing that... Hunk would.... _curse him with_. When he finally _dares_ glance at it, he's fairly surprised. As if Hunk knows he's seen it, he calls out asking if Lance likes it. _He_ _does_. It's a cuff of various flowers around his upper arm that trail down a few inches in a flurry of leaves and petals. Damn, as cheap and dirty as he got the tattoo, it looked first class. _Thanks, mysterious tattoo woman_. 

 

"Only short sleeve shirts for a while, Lance." Hunk laughs, slightly evilly, knowing it's the middle of winter and Lance owns approximately 2 short sleeve shirts. Damn you.

 

"Two things, bud. One, I'm eternally grateful you didn't pick a tattoo of some half eaten corndog, and two, at least my inevitable requirement of a tattoo as an artist myself is sated."

 

"Mm. That's partially true. However, I've seen a few tattoo artists without tattoos. Of course, they usually balance that out with a ton of piercings." Hunk says blandly, still writing up whatever it is he's writing up. "What, uh, what are you writing?", Lance asks.

 

"English project. Peer review. I swear to god, if this guy uses the word 'dude' formally _one_  more time, I'm calling the police." 

 

"And how are you this fine morning, dude?"

 

"PLEASE. ENOUGH OF THIS MADNESS." Hunk screeches, closing his laptop and setting it next to him on the bed. Lance chuckles, and very unenthusiastically (and carefully) changes his shirt, and puts on his best sweatshirt. His phone buzzes on his nightstand and he lurches across the room to grab it. When you only have 3 friends, just the idea of getting a message is exciting.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

hey where r u I have notes from Nyma's class and u def need those since u apparently skipped this morning??? lmao 

 

From: Pigeon Gum

seriously tho if ur sleeping I myself will strangle u

 

To: Pigeon Gum

shIT NO I WAS TenDING TO MY TATT OO FUCK ILL BE ROGHT THERE

 

From: Pigeon Gum

whoa hold up u got a tattoo?? pics or it didn't happen bitch

 

To: Pigeon Gum

(Image Attached)

 

From: Pigeon Gum

I can't believe u beat me 2 it but damn boi how much that cost u?

 

To: Pigeon Gum

HELL KF I KNOW IM RUNNIN G TO MY CLASS RN AND HUNK WAS THE ONW BEHIND ALL THIS ASK HIM

 

From: Pigeon Gum

mkay

 

Lance just fucking _faceplants_  in front of the whole class when he runs in, and then he practically crawls to his seat from there. Shiro stares at him with a smug grin.

 

"Did you stay up watching anime again?" Shiro laughs under his breath. Lance scoffs and gently pulls his sleeve up, and twists toward Shiro.

 

"I lost a bet, this was the result, and as an aspiring tattoo-er myself I had to make sure it was taken care of. I didn't get to wash it, however." Lance sighs. Shiro nods, still grinning.

 

"By chance, did you forget your -I don't know- backpack?"

 

And with that Lance yells an apology to the teacher, saying he's going to the bathroom, when in all reality he's hauling ass back to his dorm, and regretting his decision _not_  to utilize the student fitness center, you know, _ever_.  Running back and forth between classes everyday has been enough to keep him mildly healthy. He's just built for consistent non-violent running. Not vicious stressful sprinting. God, Hunk is definitely better at time management. Hunk probably gets to just _walk_ to his classes. 

 

Lance kicks the door harshly a few times before he hears Hunk unlocking the door. Lance dashes in, digs his backpack out of the shitpile that is his half of the room, and leaves the room without saying a word. Hunk is used to this, and only occasionally will Hunk text him a reminder that hey, you're not wearing a shirt; or something.

 

The teacher ignores Lance bursting in the room and jogging back to his seat. 

 

"That's better. Good job." Shiro says, and Lance wants to think it sounded sarcastic, but he can never tell with this man. "Shut your dirty I'm 'accidentally' not wearing a shirt to class mouth." Lance huffs, still catching his breath. Shiro stares at him.

 

" _That was one time and I didn't realize it--"_ Shiro argues and the teacher decides to call on him right then. Shiro flawlessly answers whatever the teacher had asked, despite not knowing what the fuck he had actually asked. Shiro was a god of evading questions, amongst other things. The teacher keeps a close eye on Lance and Shiro throughout the rest of the class.

 

Preparing to sprint to his next class, Lance checks that all of his backpack zippers are fully zipped, as he's done since his laptop flew out of his bag while running to one of his classes once. R.I.P. Randy. He's running out the door when Shiro stops him.

 

"I forgot to tell you your tattoo looks great, as that's the polite thing to do. Unrelated: be careful next time you run on tile floors with wet shoes. And unrelated again, Holt's class is cancelled today, so you've got an hour and a half of free time, unlike me. Stay safe!" Shiro explains, patting Lance on his shoulder and walking off.

 

As much as Lance loved having free time, he never knew what to do with it. Did he text one of his 3 friends? Two of them were in classes or on their way to classes at the moment. Did he go work out? Definitely not. Did he just sit there and wait? What the fuck did he do with free time?

 

To: Pigeon Gum

why did your daddy cancel class today?

 

From: Pigeon Gum

idk

 

To: Pigeon Gum

introducing Pidge Gunderson, the best person to go to for insider information.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

it me

 

To: Pigeon Gum

PleaSE I HAVE FREE TIME AND NOTHING TO DO SAVE ME.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

To: Pigeon Gum

disgustin g.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

come meet me in the plaza i wanna c ur tat irl

 

To: Pigeon Gum

k

 

From: Pigeon Gum

k

 

A continuous thread of K's is sent back and forth, until Lance spots Pidge in the plaza. Pidge shuffles over.

 

"Lemme see that good shit." Pidge says, rubbing their hands together. Lance begrudgingly pulls his sleeve up again and Pidge whistles, crossing their arms in approval. Pidge then scrunches their eyebrows together. "Wait, Hunk chose this one for you? What kind of generous, loving soul, does that? I would've gone with a giant trollface tattooed on your ass. Outdated and gaudy."

 

"I'm never making a tattoo bet with you then."

 

"Whoa, hey, I'm not actually _that_  bad! However I _would_  involve an ass tattoo or alternatively, a tramp stamp." Pidge explains. Lance cringes. 

 

"You're just * _guaranteeing_  I won't make a tattoo bet with you."

 

"Someday you'll get an ass tattoo and think of me." Pidge grins, pointing to an empty table and slowly walking toward it.

 

"Gross." Lance laughs, following and sitting across from Pidge.

 

"So, Lance. Winter quarter is almost over, and you get to go to that fancy tattoo school place in Spring. How ya feeling?" Pidge leans back in their chair, as if they're giving Lance a very serious lecture on life. "It's not a tattoo school."

 

"What then?"

 

"I'm being an apprentice." Lance chuckles. Smug.

 

"Ooh, how _fun_! You get to mop floors and watch other people do your dream job!" Pidge hums, and Lance kicks them in the shin under the table.

 

"We both know you HAVE to be an apprentice before you can get your license. Your brother could tell you better than I could."

 

"Please tell me you're not working with my brother." Pidge groans, leaning forward and smacking their head on the table.

 

"I'm working in the same shop he is? There's two mentors there, so I could get the other guy. You never know. I could change my mind at the last minute and move away to France," Lance stops, looking at Pidge's intensely uninterested face, "but of course, I could never leave you and Hunk."

 

"Aw, you ugly sap!"

 

"I'm tattooing that on your back while you sleep someday, Pidge."

 

"Shit, I didn't mean it, Lance is a godlike human with beauty beyond human knowledge please spare me." Pidge fake begs, and Lance takes a deep breath, clasping his hands together.

 

"Hopefully you and Hunk don't forget I'm also within this odd circle of friends here." Lance sighs, and Pidge glances up from their phone.

 

"We wouldn't forget you. Besides, you're practically 20 minutes away? You're definitely not gonna be out of the loop." Pidge assures Lance, propping their feet up on the table.

 

"Anything else you need me to do while you're gone, Lancy pants?"

 

"Oh god, never call me that again. And, uh, do you think you could remind Shiro of the time he didn't wear a shirt to all of his classes one time like, every day? That's all I need."

 

"Who the flying fart is Shiro?" Pidge taps at the table.

 

"Class friend. You'd like him." 

 

"I need appearance if I'm supposed to find this guy and tell him about his failures every day."

 

"Tall, he's got dark hair, looks vaguely like a hot dad? Wears suits like every other day and sweatpants and ugly long sleeve shirts the other half." Lance explains, and Pidge sighs.

 

"Yes, because 'looks vaguely like a hot dad' is a great way for me to identify someone. If he's so attractive, why don't you have a picture?"

 

"Rrrright, I have one. Wait, it's- here it is." 

 

"He looks so kind. A gentle soul, ready to make me soup if I was ever to be sick. Truly a 'hot dad', Lance." 

 

"Speaking of dads though, any word from your dad yet about why he canceled?" Lance asks, crossing his arms. Pidge shakes their head, staring at their phone. Lance takes this time to check his own -lonely, barren of notifcations, and disturbingly silent- phone. 

 

Yet again, Lance is stuck in some sort of notification limbo. If he actually initiates some notification requiring activity, he'll definitely get some back, but if he leaves it alone, he'll die alone in a garbage can. And someone better get that garbage can ready, because he's too lazy to send anyone anything.

 

"Listen, Lance. I gotta go, but I'm glad you finally got a goddamn tattoo, and I'm glad you're getting that apprenticeship. Talk to you later." Pidge announces, preoccupied with whoever they're talking to on the phone. Whoever it is, is probably more interesting than Lance, given Pidge's willingness to leave.  That's fine though, he's used to being in the background.

 

Always in the picture, never the focus of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keith doesn't come in for at LEAST another chapter smh I'm sorry


	2. Chapter 2

Finals. What a day. It's 2am and Lance is internally screaming, making deals with demons that aren't there, hoping the Art History Final he took is good enough to pass; It's not like he was _failing,_  but getting more than a B- would be great. That's not really why he's being kept awake though, at least, not today. His last final is today, and after that, he leaves. He works at the shop. He's actually in reach of something he wants for once. It's an oddly disturbing feeling, getting to do what you've always wanted to.

 

But once he's there, what then? What happens when his apprenticeship ends? Will he start as an apprentice and realize, 'hey, I kind of hate this!' And give up? Knowing himself, that was a distinct possibility. He's never been one to be terribly responsible. He's always had someone to tie him down; sort of like a hot air balloon. Jesus shit he needs to sleep, he's thinking about hot air balloons, for god's sake. He has a final in less than 10 hours, and he definitely needs the rest. But he's just not--

 

"Lance." Hunk groans.

 

"What?"

 

"Sleep." 

 

And then Lance takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. The next time Hunk speaks, it's to wake him up.

 

"You're gonna be late, Lance." Hunk says, and Lance vaguely registers his voice. "Mm." Lance huffs, looking at his clock. It's only, what, 10 minutes to 11? His final's at 11:00, he's got time. _YOUR FINAL IS AT 11_.

 

"MY FINAL IS AT 11." Lance rockets out of bed, grabbing whatever shitty hoodie he can find left on the ground, throwing it on over his cringeworthy emoji pajama pants. Hunk scoffs at him, "You look like a real genius."

 

"I love that movie, bitch." Lance states, shoving a pair of slippers on and sort of just, sliding out the door.

 

"I know you do, you made me watch it four times." Hunk yells out the door at him, and Lance smiles before he starts his shitty fire-breathing sprint to class, coughing and hacking when he finally reaches the damn place. Mr. Holt gives him a confused look, before handing him a few sheets of paper, stapled together, and printed in comic sans. What a teacher. He sits down next to Shiro, who's already a few questions in. 

 

Shiro, being the responsible and trustworthy person he is, sticks his arm strategically to the side of his paper so Lance can't see it.

 

"Goddamnit Shiro."

 

"You've gotta learn sometime." Shiro grins. The rest of the allotted time he has to finish this shit is spent actually doing the final (no thanks to Shiro), and intermittently losing focus and wondering whether flies have feelings. Lance half-heartedly turns it in, confident he'll get at least a 60. He's heading back to his dorm to pack, and Shiro yells at him to slow down.

 

"Jesus, you're all leg." Shiro says, catching up.

 

"You're taller than me, dude."

 

"Yes, but you have longer legs, proportionally."

 

"Uh, thanks? What you want, pal?" Lance asks.

 

"Your friend Pidge talked to me yesterday and it's pretty cool you're already getting an apprenticeship so early on, Lance. I hope you do your best."

 

"Mm. What exactly did Pidge tell you? Like, was it just about my job or, you know." 

 

Shiro laughs, "Pidge told me you had an apprenticeship, and you were nervous your friends would forget you, even though you'd still be close? I also didn't know you considered me a friend until yesterday? But now I guess giving you my phone number and you inviting me to go places with you and your other friends makes more sense."

 

Lance chuckles and Shiro shrugs, "in all seriousness though, I'm your friend and I guarantee I won't forget you. On an unrelated note, I have a deal to make with you."

 

"Oho, now? Making deals with the devil." Lance winks.

 

"Now that you've proclaimed me your friend, I'm entitled to 'friendly' punches." Shiro scoffs.

 

"Sorry, sorry." Lance apologizes, smiling.

 

"So, as I was saying. You're becoming a tattoo artist, and I've been considering getting a tattoo. So, once you're able to actually tattoo someone, or at least help tattoo someone, tell me and I will gladly be your very first customer." 

 

"Are you- you're joking, right?"

 

"No, I should really support you on this, it's hard being an artist, and it's harder when no one supports you. Besides, I've seen your designs, and there's no way I'd regret letting you tattoo my arm." His tone is serious and truthful, and Lance is a little surprised at how good of a person Shiro is.

 

"Says the Aerospace Engineering major. You're getting your arm tattooed?" Lance looks over at him.

 

"Oh yeah, that's the only place I'd ever really want a tattoo. And what can I say, I aspire to be an astronaut. Meet aliens and all that."

 

"Mm." Lance smiles.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Dudebro this is like totally good bro its not gay if im straight ;^))))

 

"Uh, one sec." Lance says, and Shiro tells him he's actually late for another final, before running off. How CARING do you have to BE to purposefully miss a final for someone?

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

i dont know what this is in reference to.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

The guy in front of me in English was watching gay porn and he said that to his friend and honestly I dont need to see that stuff in class or you know ever 

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

your poor innocent soul.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

IVE BEEN TAINTED LANCE TnT

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

my son... hes been tainted

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Shut up Helen™ your son is vegan and hes a dirty snitch

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

no.... he would.... he would never!!! i made him garlic bread yesterday!

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Do you need help packing because I finished my english final :v

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

yeah actually that'd be gr8

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

You got it friend ;)

 

Lance walks back to his dorm, a luxury he's never experienced. Such a nice campus. Was that tree always there? Probably. Such a... building. Just the perfect amount of windows. Who was he kidding, he'd seen this before, when it was his first quarter and he actually had time to see everything. 

 

Lance knocks on his door, and Hunk opens it and walks back over to the mound of clothes in the middle of the floor.

 

"I washed all your clothes yesterday, just fyi. You're welcome."

 

"So this hoodie...?" Lance pulls on a string of the hood.

 

"Clean."

 

"Hunk, you precious angel." Lance says, closing his eyes and slapping his hands together as if he was praying. Hunk claps his hands together as well.

 

"I pray that you can fit all this crap in your TWO suitcases."

 

"One's for clothes, one's for other things like pictures and video games. Simple."

 

"Still." Hunk huffs, kicking over the mountain of clothes. Lance sighs.

 

"I'll miss you, my dude."

 

"You'll be 10 minutes away, Lance."

 

"Nonetheless, I'll miss you."

 

"Thanks, now help me shove this shit in here." Hunk lifts up a pile of clothes.

 

\----

 

Lance pulls up to the house he's renting a room out of, courtesy of Matt. Matt jogs out of the house, and waves at Lance as he climbs out of his car awkwardly. Lance barely manages to get his bags out of the back before Matt is slamming the back of his car shut, and jokingly asking if he needed help. Lance scoffs, dragging his bags up to the front door and inside a few feet.

 

"How do you pay for this?" Lance asks, glancing down the halls of the house and up the stairs.

 

"I don't. I'm just helping you get your shit upstairs, lmao."

 

"Wait, but you--"

 

"I told you this was the best deal you'd get and that this was a personal living arrangement. Because I lived here when I was being an apprentice and so will you!" Matt points at him with finger guns.

 

"Goddamnit, Matt I didn't--"

 

"It's 3 minutes from the shop, and they're both owned by Allura, okay? Trust me, it's all good." Matt interrupts yet again.

 

"Allura? She owns this house and the shop?" Lance asks, taking a deep breath.

 

"You got it. She typically invites apprentices to live here if they don't have other arrangements. 4 bedrooms. One of em is hers, one of em is yours, and one of them is Keith's. The other one is just sort of a guest bedroom? Don't know who she keeps it so clean for." Matt explains, leaving the room.

 

"Wait, just- okay. A few questions. One, which room is mine? Two, why isn't Allura here currently instead of you? And three, who the fuck is Keith."

 

"Yours is upstairs, end of the hall. Allura isn't here because she had a meeting today, and she wanted to greet Keith. As for Keith, he's just Keith. A fellow apprentice." 

 

"I... whatever, can you help me get these upstairs?" Lance asks, and Matt nods, pulling one bag up behind him as he climbs the stairs. Matt throws the bag in his room, and walks back downstairs, probably having something better to do. Lance tosses his other bag next to it, and topples over onto the bed.

 

"Ayy Matt, when's Allura supposed to be back?" Lance sits up and yells.

 

"A few hours, why? You got plans?"

 

"No, I just... It's not important, you should show me the shop." 

 

"Oh, hell yeah. You're driving." Matt responds, obviously walking out the front door. Lance jumps up, jogging down the hall and stairs and twisting around to walk out the front door, locking it behind him. Once he's in the car, Matt starts hitting him with rapid-fire directions he barely understands, and merely responds with, "uh."

 

"So, Lance... Pidge tells me you got your first tattoo? Sacred for a tattoo artist. Do you like it? Can I see it?" Matt asks, excited. Lance pulls his sweatshirt off, showing off his tattoo for a moment before backing out of the driveway.

 

"Such pretty flowers; who did it?"

 

"Uh, well... that's, a bit of a story." Lance chuckles nervously.

 

"Oh my god, you got it from an unlicensed artist! Well, damn, you're lucky they didn't just write the word fuck and take your money."

 

"Like the tattoo behind your ear?" Lance grins.

 

"No, that was a licensed artist, I was just drunk."

 

They arrive quickly, and Matt practically teleports out of the car. Lance follows suit, walking in the shop behind Matt. An older gentleman is currently tattooing a younger looking man, who has obviously never gotten a tattoo before.

 

"That's Coran, say hi Coran!"

 

"Hello, Lance!" Coran says enthusiastically, still focused on the wrist of the boy, so Lance just gets a nice view of the back of his head. He pronounces Lance like 'lonce' due to some sort of accent and Lance can't decide whether that's cool or not.

 

"Coran has been here the longest, and also, he's your mentor. I got Keith because apparently knowing you for a year or two disqualifies me from teaching you." Matt shrugs, and Lance looks over at Coran again. Coran is humming some pop song, and it goes oddly with the buzzing of the tattoo machine. Matt pulls him into the next room.

 

"This is the piercing room, where we keep the piercings and some ink. Did you know we did piercings? I just learned the other day. To think I've worked here a year and a half, after apprenticeship." Matt says, putting his hands on his hips.

 

"How many piercings do you have, Lance?" Matt asks, twisting around to look at him.

 

"Uh, 5." Lance answers instinctively.

 

"Damn, I only see your basic baby earlobe shits, where's your other 3?"

 

"Tongue web, and collarbones." Lance recalls, pulling his shirt down and to the side a little to display the little silver stud on one of his collarbones.

 

"Nice, I haven't seen a tongue web piercing before, can I see?" Matt asks, and he suddenly looks like a child seeing cake for the first time. Lance obliges, sticking his tongue out just far enough to show him.

 

"Damn, was that uncomfortable? Is it uncomfortable still?"

 

"It was a living fucking hell for a bit, and then it was mediocre and now it's fine 95% of the time." Lance shrugs.

 

"What happens the other 5% of the time?"

 

"I'm making out with someone." Lance huffs, remembering that last time he had done such a thing. Not a fond memory. And so long ago. Jesus, his life is sad.

 

"Mm. Okay, so, now onto this room here, the employee room! It's an old supply closet, and it fits like one person but it's the coldest spot in the shop for some reason so we fight over it in summer. And across the way, bathrooms!" Matt says masterfully, as though he's perfected the tattoo parlor tour speech.

 

"Is that the whole shop?" Lance looks around the shop, and Matt shrugs.

 

"Yeah, pretty much. It's spacey though." 

 

Lance agrees, clasping his hands together. Matt takes a deep breath. 

 

"You should get familiar with the stock tattoos hung up in the front, as well as talk to Coran, once he's done." Matt says, turning to head back to the front.

 

"How much longer until he's done?" Lance asks, and Coran laughs from across the room.

 

"You've got a good 15 minutes Lance." Coran chuckles, and Lance is still conflicted on how Coran pronounces his name.

 

"Alright, uh... Oh! Wait, Matt."

 

"Eeyeah?" Matt says, stopping in his tracks and twisting his torso around to face Lance, keeping his feet in place. Matt could be a fucking contortionist

 

"How long did it take you to be allowed to help with tattoos in your apprenticeship?" Lance asks, and Matt looks over at Coran.

 

"A good 8-9 months just to barely help. Coran here was my mentor as well, so I wouldn't count on him letting you help for a while. Dude's a pro, and doesn't want his tattoo rep ruined." Matt laughs.

 

"You're makin me sound like the bad guy." Coran mutters. 

 

"You kind of are. Like, the 2nd most bad guy in the store, following Allura."

 

Lance is watching and listening to this conversation intensely, memorizing any new information he's given. He's already memorized the layout of the store.

 

"Bad in terms of what?" Coran asks, wiping at the young man's wrist. 

 

"Badassery. It goes, Allura the owner and manager, Coran the assistant manager and senior artist, Matt the almost new guy that's been here too long to actually be new, Shay the piercist, and the person to be in the position of least power has yet to be determined, given I haven't met Keith yet."

 

"You've got this down pat, I see." Coran sighs, and Matt grins, "Yup."

 

"Didn't you meet Keith yesterday? Weren't you supposed to help him get his stuff in Allura's place?" Coran inquires, standing up, revealing he's done with his work, and it's all carefully bandaged.

 

"Nah, remember, my dad claimed he had an emergency, which was really just a clogged toilet, so Shay went and helped instead?" 

 

"Your father is a strange man, indeed. Nothing like you or your sibling." Coran mutters, turning around with his hands on his hips after he's excused the boy properly and he's safely out the door. Lance immediately registers Coran's sweet ass mustache. He's tempted to say something about it, but Coran is grinning so widely, Lance doesn't want to stop him. 

 

"Lance! _Wonderful_ to properly greet you!" Coran strides over, sticking out his hand and Lance nervously shakes it.

 

"Oh boy. You've got to work on that handshake. Nonetheless, I am your mentor as previously mentioned! If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask! I love questions more than life itself."

 

"Uh, I do have one question. How long have you been working here?"

 

"14 years! I owned the place for 10 and then 4 years ago when we were pretty damn close to getting shut down, Allura jumped in and bought the place, so here we are! Paladin tattoo is almost 15 years old." Coran explains happily.

 

"Sorry, if Allura is the owner and manager of the place and all that, why wasn't she here today? I mean, I know she had a meeting and had to get Keith or something, but shouldn't she be here to see everyone?"

 

"Lance, son, Allura is what many call a workaholic. She's been focused on running the few businesses her dad left her when he passed, and she's been doing it well." Coran pats Lance on the shoulder, and Matt nods.

 

"Mm. 'Lura needs a vacation or some shit."

 

"Believe me I've tried to tell her to take one." Coran sighs, shaking his head sadly. Matt grunts in agreement. So, Allura will not Stop™, Coran is the cool uncle of the shop, and Lance still needs to unpack. Matt must recall this fact as well.

 

"Well, Coran, Lance and I have work to do back at the house, but I'm sure you'll see him tomorrow." Matt grabs Lance by the wrist and pulls him out the front door and out to the car.

 

"Coran's cool." Lance says absentmindedly.

 

"Good. If you like him, then you'll definitely do well as his apprentice." Matt smiles,  buckling his seatbelt. Lance backs out of his parking spot, staring at the shop. This'll be fun. This is fun.

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Fucking- Allura was supposed to be back by 5 and it's 8. I have shit to do. God. Okay, I'm sorry Lance, but I have to go, so if Allura comes home, just, you know, yeah." Matt says, grabbing his keys and jogging out the door. Lance is too tired to respond, and too preoccupied with texting Pidge and Hunk, and the most recent addition, Shiro, in whatever hell this group message is.

 

From: Shit oh

What? I've only had one dog in my life.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

aw what was the name 

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Probably like rover or some stereotypical dog name who knows :/

 

To: Group msg

shiro named his dog 'dog' I'm calling it.

 

From: Shit oh

Oh please, his name was Raymond.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

R A Y M O N D

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

HAIL RAYMOND!! }:3

 

From: Shit oh

Such a good dog, he was.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

ayy yee lass my great beast raymond was a great beast he was

 

To: Group msg

new group meme: shiro is an old scottish storyteller.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Oh great Shiro tell us a tale :v

 

From: Pigeon Gum

seriously tho shiro what do u have 2 say 4 urself

 

From: Shit oh

I don't understand? What'd I do?

 

From: Pigeon Gum

uve only had ONE dog ur whole life

 

From: Shit oh

I live alone, I have no space for a dog! Dogs need love and attention and I'm (sadly) too busy for that!

 

To: Group msg

shiro you big vegan.

 

From: Shit oh

I'm... not a vegan?

 

From: Pigeon Gum

whered hunk go

 

From: Pigeon Gum

he BLASTED outta here

 

To: Group msg

pidge tell your brother he's a jerk.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

what he do

 

From: Shit oh

I'm confused, you have a brother?

 

From: Pigeon Gum

yeah and hes workin @ the same place as lancy pants over here

 

Lance loses his focus because then the door's getting unlocked and he's shooting off the couch. 

 

An attractive woman with bright blue eyes, glowing tan skin, and light (almost white) hair walks in and Lance assumes it's Allura because who else would have the key to unlock the door. She, of course, sees Lance.

 

"Jesus, is everyone taller than me? I assume you're Lance?" She sighs, putting a hand on her hip.

 

"Uh, yes. I assume you're Allura."

 

"The one and only. Sorry for being so late, some piece of shit tried to rob one of my stores and I had to go fill paperwork out IMMEDIATELY. Anyway, nice to meet you, you'll mostly be seeing me in the early morning and very late at night. I have work, as you probably know." Allura walks over, and Lance is completely unsatiably curious on whether her hair is bleached or not. 

 

"Sorry, odd question?"

 

"Yeah, hit me." Allura answers, walking over to her dining table and throwing her jacket, bag, and also shoes on it lazily. Lance understands how she could need a vacation.

 

"Is your hair natural?" Lance asks awkwardly, but Allura doesn't seem to mind.

 

"No, but it's close. It's naturally blonde, so I bleached it a little and tada, extremely light. Anyway, where's Matt?" Allura asks, looking around the house. Lance counts 2 eyebrow piercings and one nose ring on her face, and two regular -as Matt had called them- baby earlobe piercings. Not to mention the little tattoo of stars and twinkles on her right shoulder.

 

"He said he had to--"

 

"FUCKING-- GODDAMNIT!" Someone yells outside and Allura sighs.

 

"Sorry, uh, you have to meet Keith." Allura smiles awkwardly, running outside and dragging the apparent Keith back in. There's... a few things Lance notices.

 

Firstly, Keith has what, 20 piercings on his ears? Jesus that's a lot. Lance is exaggerating but there's a fuck ton and he doesn't know how Keith's long black mess of hair doesn't get caught in them all the time, not to mention the two he's got on his right eyebrow and the ring on his left. Oh! Can't forget the septum piercing! Not that he's judging but at this rate he must have one--

 

"Lance, this is Keith. Keith, this is Lance." Allura yawns, gesturing between them. Keith is looking at Lance the exact same way Lance was looking at Keith a moment ago, silent judgement.

 

"Nice to meet you." Keith says, his voice quiet. Or at least, quieter than the screaming cursing one outside. Lance stiffly sticks his hand out, and Keith shakes it.

 

"Your hand is cold." Keith states, throwing his jacket on the rocking chair in the corner of the room, and leaving the room; but not before Lance notes MULTIPLE tattoos on his right arm, and a sparse few on his left. Lance is oddly glad he left his jacket on to cover his singular tattoo.

 

"Sorry, he's pretty much like that all the time. Maybe a few more curse words." Allura mutters, and then excuses herself to sleep. Lance wishes her good night, and Keith walks out of the kitchen and glares at Lance for a second. Lance is oddly intimidated. So of course, his defenses kick in.

 

"You're... you're shorter than me, right?" Lance asks, and Keith doesn't move or say anything, besides him looking up the stairs to check for Allura.

 

"And you're, what? An inch taller than me. How does that affect jack shit?" Keith retorts, walking downstairs. Lance struggles to come up with something to reply with but by the time he has some shitty outline of a comeback, Keith's already downstairs in his room.

 

To: Group msg

I may or may not have a rival??? more news to come.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

My baby growing up :3c

 

From: Pigeon Gum

damn son ur livin some anime shit

 

From:. (h)(u)(n)(k)

Is it okay if I visit tomorrow after I got to lunch with my mom uwu

 

To: Group msg

ofc as long as I'm done with work.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

GASP is Lance actually being good with his planning for once???

 

To: Group msg

SHUT YOUR FUCK

 

From: Pigeon Gum

we should all get 2gether on friday like the whole squad 

 

To: Group msg 

yeah alright I'll see what time I get off on Friday.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

:')

 

From: Pigeon Gum

o lance dont u kno u can get off anytime ;^)

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I didn't come here to get attacked like this peace out :///

 

To: Group msg

see you tomorrow hunk and see you on Friday pidge.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

lmao

 

Lance runs upstairs, and basically jumps into bed. Today has been tiring and he's sure tomorrow will be even more so. Lance takes a deep breath. And he's out.

 

\----

 

"Hey shithead, get up." Keith kicks the foot of his bed, and Lance sits up and slowly opens his eyes. Keith's pulled his hair back into an odd sort of messy knot but it shows off his undercut nicely. 

 

"Did you sleep in your jacket?" Keith asks incredulously. Lance shrugs, looks at his jacket sleeves still on his arms, and nods.

 

"Jesus, get up. And change. You've got half an hour to be at the shop." Keith kicks the foot of his bed again, and walks out of the room.

 

"Where's Allura?" Lance yells through the fabric of his shirt as he pulls it off. He exchanges it for a mid sleeve shirt that just barely covers his tattoo. He's allowed to wear long sleeve shirts again now, and he wants to see how long it takes Keith to notice he even has a tattoo. Fucking _Keith_.

 

"At work." Keith yells, irritated. Lance copies him mockingly.

 

"Wait, when exactly am I supposed to be at work?" Lance yells, and receives no answer, so he throws a pair of shoes on, grabs his phone off the charger and leaves the room. Keith's gone. Probably to work. If Keith left already, Lance should too. He jogs to the kitchen and grabs a slice of bread and just shoves it his mouth, grabbing his keys and walking out to his car. For some reason, Matt's list of who's most badass is stuck in his head. He forces it out of his head, backing out of the driveway and toward the shop.

 

It hits Lance that 'hey, you're an apprentice at a tattoo shop!' And he smiles. And then he remembers he's got a good year or so before he can actually start working there as an actual tattoo artist. That's a little less great, but still good. Ah, wait, he also has to spend the year with Keith who looks ready to fucking burn Lance at any given moment. So, the situation isn't SO good, but he's still working at a tattoo parlor. At least there's that. At least.

 

He parks behind the shop and walks in through the back, and Coran grins at him from the front desk, where he looks to be scheduling a tattoo with an older woman already seasoned with multiple.

 

"Lance! Come help me with this wonderful lady." Coran hums, beckoning Lance over. Lance walks over, noting Matt talking to Keith in his peripheral vision.

 

"Hello, ma'am, I'm Lance." Lance says and the woman smiles.

 

"Hello Lance, I'm here to schedule a tattoo!" She says politely, and Coran moves out of the way to let Lance take over. Coran points out where there are openings and how to schedule in those slots. Lance nods, and then asks the woman if she has a specific time in mind.

 

"Any space tomorrow, Thursday?" She says, after contemplating for a moment. Lance flips the page over. There's 2, 1-hour slots.

 

"Well, that depends on what sort of tattoo you're getting. Anything in mind?" 

 

"Oh, just a small line of writing on my left shoulderblade." She sings. So nice. Lance has a feeling most customers aren't so friendly. 

 

"Alright. Is or was this a consulting appointment today?" Lance asks, tapping his pencil on the desk when Coran walks over to address another customer.

 

"Oh, yes. It was."

 

"Cool, does 4-6pm sound good tomorrow? That's the only two time slots available." Lance asks, taking a deep breath. The woman sighs and nods. Lance begins writing her in.

 

"Is this your first day?" She asks quietly, and Lance looks up from the paper. He's a little angry he couldn't pass off as experienced, but most of the time he can't do half the things he tries to, so it's not _that_ big of a deal anymore.

 

"Ha, yeah. How'd you know?" He responds, going back to scheduling her.

 

"Well, I didn't until Coran left, and you got a little nervous so I thought I'd ask. I hope it goes well for you honey." She laughs.

 

"Thank you. Uh, you're all set! So just come in 15 or 20 minutes before your appointment for good measure." Lance explains and she starts to leave before she snaps and turns back around to look at Lance.

 

"I've been here a few times before, and I always ask anyone new how many tattoos they have?"

 

"Ah, well. I'm new. I have one. Uh, upper right arm."

 

"Can I see?" She asks politely.

 

"Sure, just... is the dude with the black hair looking at me?"

 

"No, hon." She glances over, and shakes her head. Lance pulls up his sleeve and twists his arm out a bit.

 

"Ooh, so pretty! How long ago did you get it?" She sings.

 

"A week, I believe." Lance smiles. She hums approvingly and then excuses herself to leave. Lance double checks her appointment, and then asks Coran to see if he did it correctly.

 

"You did it perfectly, Lance! The first time! Congratulations!" Coran claps his hands together and tilts onto the balls of his feet and back onto his heels. Lance laughs, "Thanks."

 

"Now, let me show you to the cleaning supplies!" Coran says, as if cleaning is the best job to do in a tattoo parlor. Lance knew this came with any apprenticeship; cleaning up what everyone else didn't want to. Coran walks over to the piercing room and reveals a cupboard full of mops and brooms and various cleaning sprays and chemicals.

 

"Here ya are! If you want to mop, you can. Matt actually didn't mop yesterday, just so it was harder, and I'm sorry but you will have to use more cleanser because of it. You'll do it today, and Keith will do it tomorrow and Friday, because you're mopping twice as hard today." Coran winks, handing him a mop and a bucket. Lance smiles awkwardly, and reaches for a cleanser which he then opens and proceeds to pour into the bucket. A good amount. Not a lot.

 

He then heads to the back of the shop to use the back room sink to fill it, and once he finally has the bucket mostly filled and ready to go, he walks out into the main room and places the bucket in the farthest corner from the front door. Keith looks over at him at the same time Lance just happens to look over at Keith.

 

"Look who's got _cleaning_ duty today!" Keith hums, tapping his fingers on his thigh. Lance scoffs and almost looks away, but then he's again surprised by the sheer amount of tattoos Keith has. He's wearing just below knee length sweatpants, and he's got what, 4- no, 5 goddamn tattoos on his left shin and calf. Keith must realize that that's why Lance is continuing to stare at him, because he pulls his leg up on the wall behind him. Lance can still the one tattoo on his right shin. _Fucking_ Keith. 

 

"How long have you been standing there staring at his _leg,_ Lance?" Matt says teasingly, and Lance scowls, "Not as long as it took you to have your first kiss."

 

"That's- who told you?! Was it Pidge? Man, fuck Pidge. 22 is NOT that long, okay?" Matt argues, and Keith actually looks approvingly at Lance for a second. Lance winks. and Keith grimaces, looking back at Matt going on a rant about how it's not bad to wait for 'true love'.

 

Lance slaps the mop on the floor happily. That's the one fun part of mopping, in his opinion; getting to slap the thing on the floor. Sounds like someone stepping in a pie or something squishy. Lance was in charge of mopping a lot as a kid, so he found ways to make it fun. Like the stereotypical dancing with it, the using it as a microphone stand, and his favorite, just spinning around in circles really fast and trying to keep the mop on the ground.

 

He'd get fired if he did any of those things, he's fairly certain. So he just mops. Boringly. Normally. Coran walks over to check on him about 10 minutes in.

 

"How's it goin, son?" He pats Lance on the shoulder.

 

"Uh, disgustingly. I don't think Matt has mopped for the past _week_ , more like." Lance blankly states and Coran laughs, and it's a big booming slightly terrifying laugh.

 

"Well, good to know! If you clean the shop well enough I might even give you an extra day off to fiddle around with!" Coran starts to walk off and Lance stops him.

 

"Wait, if I clean the shop well enough to fit your standards, could I have Friday off?" Lance asks, hopeful.

 

"Hmm. Tell you what, Lance. If you clean this shop to my standards of actual CLEANLINESS by... 3 pm, I'll give you the rest of the day off and Friday. Deal?" Coran smiles. Lance nods and salutes him, running back into the piercing room, and grabbing gloves, a few various sprays, rags, and a sponge.

 

"Deal, bitch." Lance announces, and everyone, including the young girl getting tattooed by Matt looks a little underwhelmed, like they think he can't do it. _Oh, they'll see._ Lance grabs his mop and just starts scrubbing the shit out of the floor.

 

Floor's done by 11. He goes over it again in 15 minutes for good measure. He's done organizing the files at the front desk and cleaning all the countertops off by 1. He's done cleaning all equipment that isn't in use by 1:45. And at this point, Coran himself is looking a little amazed. Fools, they think he wouldn't do this for an extra 6 hours off today and a whole day off Friday. He's even managed to change the bulbs in the parlor, so it doesn't look so dirty. Clean white light works wonders.

 

"Lance." Coran yells, while Lance is sweeping over the floor for the second time at 2:15.

 

"Hmm?" Lance grunts, putting a slightly wet gloved hand on his side.

 

"I didn't... expect you to do this much, I'll admit." Coran mutters, astonished. Lance clicks his tongue and salutes Coran again, before finishing sweeping. By the time it's 3, he's cleaned the bathrooms, and somehow fixed the scratches in the mirrors.

 

"Do you think this is good for--" Lance is interrupted by Coran, who takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

 

"Would you like to help with that woman's tattoo tomorrow?" Coran inquires softly.

 

"WHAT THE _FUCK_ CORAN?" Matt yells angrily, and then mumbles, "unfair", under his breath. Lance coughs.

 

"I- well, yes, but I don't know if that's... Yes." Lance answers, and Keith makes a pained and confused noise, likely because he won't get to do this shit for MONTHS. 

 

"Alright, well... Sign out for today, and you're all set." Coran says with an amount of pride in his voice that makes Lance happy. Lance signs out of work, turns around to look at Keith with a smug grin, and somehow, from Keith's mere facial expression, Lance feels Keith kick him in the shin. Lance hopefully gave Keith the telepathic feeling of being punched in the mouth in return. Probably not. Telepathy isn't a thing, unfortunately. _Probably_.

 

"Peace out, y'all I got a friend to call."

 

"You have friends?" Keith says just as Lance walks out the door, and Lance can hear the cries and yells of 'SICK BURN' from outside. Keith IS good at burns, he'll admit that.

 

Lance dials Hunk, who picks up almost immediately.

 

"Ayy, Lance! How's the job?"

 

"I got Friday and the rest of the day off because I cleaned the shit out of the place."

 

"Did... did I just hear you -Lance McClain- say you... CLEANED?" Hunk gasps.

 

"I cleaned our dorm room once, remember?" Lance argues.

 

"Mmm now that you mention it, yeah. I must've blocked it out because you were like a freaking soap demon or something, it was terrifying."

 

"Well I scared my way into a day off so. Any ideas on what we could do on Friday?" Lance asks, and Hunk audibly hums, thinking up ideas.

 

"No. None. I'm sure Pidge or Shiro can come up with something. Anyway, am I still allowed to come over? I need the address." Hunk answers as Lance climbs into his car.

 

"Oh yeah, I'll text it to you. But if you plan to stay longer than 8, you may have to deal with Keith." Man, fuck Keith.

 

"Is that the rival you were talking about?"

 

"Yeah but it's more like, whenever he's talking to or about me, he's roasting me? I wouldn't say we're enemies, he just burns me, and I have no comebacks." Lance shrugs. Hunk laughs. Lance frowns, "What?"

 

"You're not hard to roast Lance." Hunk laughs, and Lance hangs up, sending Hunk the address anyway. Lance knows he's not hard to roast, but that's partially because he's got nothing good in his life to argue the points that people make when doing so.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I'm sorry bro I didn't mean it please forgive me bro I love you my dude I could never roast you and mean it :'/

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

bro,,,,,

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Bro,, i,,,, your my best bro dude

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

dude,,,, really bro??

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Of course man dude,,,, youll always be my best bro guy dude

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

serious though are you on your way?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Yeah be there soon B)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got antsy and wrote the next chapter bc I'm impatient and I'm A SUCKER FOR PLEASING U GUYS ILY
> 
> also keith has 16 piercings total. 2 on his right eyebrow 1 on his left, a septum piercing, 5 piercings on his right ear 6 on his left, and u can take a guess at the last one lmao. He's got 23 tattoos yikES


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's so much mario kart in this chapter I stg I'm sorry

Hunk peruses the cupboards of the kitchen, visibly disappointed by the lack of good movie snacks, or any ingredients to make said snacks.

 

"Lance, you guys have bread, ketchup, Cheerios, and milk."

 

"There's some things you could make with that."

 

"Yeah, like what? Ketchup toast? I don't think so."

 

"Tomato milk." Lance laughs.

 

"God, no." Hunk makes a fake gagging sound.

 

Hunk pulls out his phone and starts typing at it. He eventually puts it up to his phone, and proceeds to order pizza. Such a good friend. He hangs up, walks over to the couch and stares at the TV, as if expecting something.

 

"Does Allura own any movies? And if not, where's the dozens you packed?" Hunk says, after a moment of silence. Lance shrugs, and hops off the couch to scoot over to the TV stand, opening it and rummaging through a bunch of random discs. And a few Wii controllers. 

 

"Apparently not, but she owns a fuck ton of Wii games?" Lance bites his lip, "Interesting."

 

"Okay, one movie, and then, Wii time." Hunk says happily. Lance nods in agreement, punching Hunk in the arm. 

 

"I'll go grab one, any genre or specific one in mind?" Lance says, slowly climbing up the stairs.

 

"Go for something older. Not 2000's." Hunk yells, and Lance gives him a thumbs up. Lance rushes into his room, and jogs over to the bookshelf keeping all his movies in place, picks three out, and runs downstairs with them, nearly flying off the last step.

 

"What you got for me, my man?" Hunk reaches out, and Lance dumps them into his arms.

 

"Oho, Better Off Dead, Pretty In Pink, and The Incredibles. The Incredibles isn't really old, but I respect your choice, it feels like a classic. Such a pure movie. But in the end, I have to go with Better Off Dead." Hunk says, tossing the other two on the coffee table.

 

"Really? I thought you'd go for Pretty in Pink."

 

"I'm still too raw from the ending. How could she pick Blane over Duckie? Jesus." 

 

"You watched it 3 years ago."

 

"Still too soon." Hunk puts a finger up in protest and Lance throws his hands up in surrender. Hunk happily shoves the DVD into the player and climbs onto the couch happily. Lance watches undisturbed for about 20 minutes, when the doorbell rings, and Hunk pauses the movie to pay for the pizza. He runs back over, throwing the pizza down in front of Lance. Lance leans forward to grab a piece but Hunk slaps his hand away, and Lance is about to protest before he realizes Hunk's holding 2 bottles of soda, and Lance is gonna cry.

 

"Hunk, how are you so kind." Lance grabs a bottle and Hunk shrugs.

 

"Maybe I'm born with it." Hunk snorts.

 

"Maybe it's Maybelline."

 

"That it is, my friend." Hunk grins, playing the movie. Of course, the rest of the movie goes off without a hitch. Once it's finished, Hunk digs through the games and gasps. "Oh my god." Hunk mutters. Lance is a little afraid Hunk found some shitty porn or something. Hunk turns around holding a single red disc.

 

"Mario Kart." 

 

"FUCKING MARIO KART." Lance screams, lunging to grab a Wii remote when Hunk slides the game in.

 

"Goddamn, I call Princess Peach." Lance sings, crawling back onto the couch. Hunk scoffs, "Peach is for losers."

 

"Yeah, and that's what losers say when they've been crushed under Peach's pretty pink heels too many times. I bet you use Bowser." Lance chuckles.

 

"I use Toad, you jerk."

 

"Oh my god you're a Toad." Lance gasps, starting the game.

 

"Oh my god you're a Princess Peach." Hunk mocks him. Lance shrugs.

 

"She's always blessed me with wins so, Toad can eat shit."

 

Hunk shakes his head in disappointment, and picks a race track.

 

The person to win the most races by 8 has the ultimate character driver." He bargains.

 

"And the loser?" Lance asks, as the clock counts down on the game, warning them the race is about to start.

 

"The loser has to buy a full kitchen of food for this prison."

 Hunk answers, and the game starts. Lance hums his agreement, quite literally blasting past Hunk in the game. Lance glances at Hunk's face halfway through the first race, when Lance has a generous lead in 1st place, Hunk in 3rd, and Hunk obviously regrets his decision.

 

"Told you Toad eats shit."

 

"God, jesus, I didn't- it's this stupid NPC that keeps shooting shells at me! I would be first I swear to you."

 

"I figured out what my next tattoo will be. On my hip, I'm gonna get Princess Peach holding a 1st place trophy because she kicks ass." Lance jokes.

 

"I will pay you to get that tattoo." Hunk says, as he pulls up to the finish line in 2nd place. Lance can't tell if he's being serious or not. Lance would actually get that tattoo if he didn't have to pay for it himself. Princess Peach is perfect. The front door unlocks, and Allura sprints up to her room. Lance ignores it, knowing she likely forgot something due to all this stress on her. Hunk looks over at Lance in confusion.

 

"Allura. She owns and manages a bunch of businesses,.including the tattoo shop I work at, probably gets two hours of sleep a day, desperately needs a vacation." Lance explains and Hunk nods, watching her rush down the stairs and out the door with some papers in her hand. Hunk looks sympathetic.

 

"See that's the opposite of you. OVERSTUFFING your schedule." Hunk sighs, and Lance kicks his shin. Hunk does know best when it comes to time however, so Lance isn't going to deny it. He just picks a different race track and watches Hunk mentally prepare himself for the battle ahead. Hunk must have never heard Lance tell his 'intensive mario kart training session' story, because if he had, he would've never even tried to make this bet with Lance. 

 

You see, when Lance was younger, he had Mario Kart. He also had siblings that crushed his ass if he even dared to rev his poor Peach's engine. Fond memories, really. Eventually, they resorted to not letting him play at all. He, of course was not going to stand for this. So -with his mother's permission, of course- he got up early every day to practice, and one day while his siblings were all gone, he sat the entire day in front of the Wii, learning how to drift and what shortcuts different tracks had. 

 

Then, the very next day, he challenged them to a duel. And he watched the life drain from their faces every time Peach's smug 'kya!' rang through the air, hearing it thousands of times as he smashed their racers into sweet digital oblivion. From then on, if Mario Kart was being played in teams, everyone wanted Lance.

 

His only talent in life. Mario Kart.

 

"Lance, you haven't moved your eyes since the beginning of the race, are you good?" Hunk says, worried. Lance chuckles.

 

"It's called focus, Toad." He answers, and grins when he realizes Hunk placed 3rd in this one, while Lance was still in a generous 1st place. 

 

"Well crud, Lance. How do you do it?" 

 

"Text Pidge. Pidge knows." Lance winks. Hunk pulls his phone out, and Lance watches him text Pidge about it. Mostly he had been joking but, that's good too.

 

It isn't for another 8 races that Pidge responds.

 

"Wait a second, Lance. Lance you JERK, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD SOME INTENSE TRAINING IN THIS CRAP."

 

"You gotta do your research before you make a bet, dude." Lance grins smugly. Hunk sighs.

 

"Think I could beat you -again- on Rainbow Road, because I most definitely think I could destroy you." Lance asks, and Hunk scoffs.

 

"You wish. I'll win this time, for sure." Hunk says sternly, and starts the race. Lance watches the clock count down for the, what, 10th time? Probably more.

 

"Are you playing Mario Kart?" Keith asks, mostly incredulously, from the door way. Hunk looks over at Keith, and back at Lance for confirmation that this is fact, the Rival™. Lance nods in confirmation.

 

"What's wrong with Mario Kart, Keith?" Lance asks, speeding ahead of 2nd place while Hunk lingers at the start, forgetting he's playing the game.

 

"Nice to meet you, Keith! I'm Hunk. Please roast Lance as much as possible tonight, I want to see it in person."

 

"Hunk, you're in last place." Lance states. Hunk must not register what he's saying, " _Hunk_." No response.

 

"Wow, Lance, even Hunk here knows how easy it is to burn you. Yeesh." Keith grins, and Lance, with what odd adrenaline comes with winning a Rainbow Road Mario Kart, takes a deep breath.

 

"Well, considering he got his ass in last place in Mario Kart just now, I don't think he's got room to talk." Lance answers plainly.

 

"Wait, what? You didn't PAUSE THE GAME? That win doesn't count." Hunk argues.

 

"I disagree." Keith jumps in, leaning against the back of the couch, "You're using Toad, for fuck's sake. There's no way you could win 1st with that little shit. Lance here has the right idea."

 

"Oh my god Keith, you're a Princess Peach. You guys, I swear. You'll do anything to win." Hunk fake sobs.

 

"I'm not a Princess Peach. I use Daisy, if she's available. Of not, THEN I use Peach." Keith explains. Lance scoffs.

 

"You probably have a Daisy tattoo."

 

"Says the tattooless wonder." Keith answers, walking off. Hunk looks like he wants to correct Keith but Lance quickly and practically informs him of the situation.

 

"Why though? He's bound to see it at some point, so why delay it?" Hunk asks.

 

"Uh, because then he'll be like 'what the fuck when did you get that sweet ass tat I can't believe I missed it I'm such an _ass_ I should shut my pretty face and be nice for once' and I'll be better than him."

 

"Lance, you're both equally talented I'm sure. He just _looks_  more experienced. Didn't you maybe recall that hey, Keith is also an apprentice? You're both at the exact same level of experience." Hunk sighs, leaning over onto his hand.

 

"Fuck you, Hunk. Keith is obviously like, some mutant shapeshifting tattoo artist that made himself a completely different person to go through an apprenticeship again."

 

"Yes, because if I was a shapeshifter, that's what _I'd_ do." Hunk laughs. Keith walks back in the room, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the screen.

 

"Is Daisy an option here, because if so, I'll play you." Keith asks, staring Lance down.

 

"Uh." Lance responds.

 

"You know, the character select screen, and the third remote." Keith clarifies slowly, like he's explaining something to a kindergartner.

 

"Yes, I know the character select screen, asshat." Lance sighs, rolling his eyes and backing out of the track selection. He gets back to the character selection screen, and Daisy is in fact, an option. Keith shrugs and walks over to get the third remote. Hunk whistles, and picks his shitty character again, while Lance and Keith pick the two best drivers, Peach and Daisy, respectively. Because as Lance has said before, Peach is perfect.

 

 Keith, being the cocky piece of shit he definitely is, picks Rainbow Road again. Fucking Keith. The clock starts, and eventually the little horn goes off and everyone races off, besides a few stupid ass NPCs that don't know not to continuously rev their engines in the beginning. Keith is better than Hunk, that's for sure. Hunk's holding strong in 5th place, while Keith is racing past 3rd. Lance, of course, is 1st. Hunk falls off the side on his second lap, dropping his place to 8th. He doesn't mind, for some reason. Keith, however, is halfway in between Lance and the NPC in 3rd, which is saying a lot, considering Lance is a fuck ton ahead of 3rd place. 

 

Once Lance crosses the finish line, Hunk basically stops playing. Keith gets to the finish line as well, but he did slow down after Lance won. Lance expects some sort of irritated response from Keith, or maybe a burn, but Keith just looks back at Lance and gives him a thumbs up.

 

"You're really good at this shit, Lance." Keith says, going through the tracks again. Lance attempts to connect the sentence with any sort of insult, but ultimately, he labels it as a compliment. Stores it away in a file for later blackmail or something.

 

"You have something in your mouth." Lance points out, while Keith is talking to Hunk about something Toad related.

 

"Are you referring to this," Keith sticks his tongue out, and lo and behold, he's got another fucking piercing on his tongue, "or do I actually have something in my mouth?"

 

"No, just the piercing." Lance says, making a mocking face.

 

"Do you just have those piercings?" Keith asks, pointing at Lance's ear. Lance shakes his head.

 

"No, I've got 3 others."

 

"Yeah? Where?" Keith asks, turning around to face Lance.

 

"Now, that's a secret." Lance winks, and Keith scoffs.

 

"Don't ask me, I won't tell you. I keep his secrets." Hunk laughs.

 

"I wasn't going to?" Keith responds, like he didn't even think of it. Lance's phone buzzes. Hunk sent a message to the group chat, and Lance gives him an evil look.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

You just have the tongue piercing and the collarbone piercings right Lance :v

 

To: Group msg

yeah currently

 

From: Shit oh

I didn't know you had anything other than your earrings.

 

To: Group msg

yeah dude 

 

Lance shuts his phone off after his message sends. Lance tunes back into the conversation. He looks over at Hunk, who's describing a scene from Better Off Dead. Keith is curled up in his blanket, pulled up to just above his mouth. Fucking Keith. Keith snaps his fingers, scooting up out of his blanket a little, smiling. Goddamn fucking Keith.

 

"Oh, yeah! I love Better Off Dead, I can't believe I forgot that part." Keith laughs, and pulls his blanket back up. Lance wants to slap Keith. That's terrible, why does he want to slap him? He literally just pulled a blanket up. What the fuck, Lance. God.

 

"Did you get off work early? I thought we weren't supposed to get out until 9? It's only 8:30." Lance inquires, and Keith twists a bit to look at him over his blanket. Fucking.

 

"Well, since you cleaned the shit out of everything, there wasn't much to do at the end of the day, so I got out early, yeah." Keith explains, pulling his blanket down and pressing it underneath his chin.

 

"Ah. What time does Allura get home, do you know?"

 

"She said she usually gets home around 10." Keith shrugs. Lance nods in understanding, looking over at Hunk.

 

"Hey, Keith?" Hunk says, looking at his phone. Keith looks over at him expectantly.

 

"Do you want to come hang out with us on Friday?" Hunk looks up from his phone, and over at Keith. Keith takes a second, and lazily nods.

 

"Alright cool, what's your phone number?"

 

\----

 

From: Keith

What the hell is this?

 

To: Group msg

a spicy meme hell!

 

From: Pigeon Gum

i feel like i need context but im good with a mysterious keith joining our ranks

 

From: Shit oh

Honestly, why was I even added to this group?

 

To: Group msg

because you're a spicy meme Shiro, i know it deep down.

 

From: Keith

Okay, well, how about you get the fuck out of bed, because it's Thursday and you don't have Thursday off.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

savage AND domestic

 

From: Pigeon Gum

who can fill me in on this whole keith dynamic

 

To: Group msg

Keith is a lil bitch that's what.

 

From: Keith

Get the fuck downstairs. I'm leaving. You have 10 minutes to be at work.

 

To: Group msg

FUC K WHY DID NT  YO TELL ME

 

From: Keith

It's not my responsibilty, you dumbass.

 

Lance jumps out of bed, changing into actual pants, shoving on a pair of shoes, grabbing his jacket and keys and running out to his car.

 

He actually sees Keith leave the driveway, and he quickly follows suit.

 

To: Keith

fuck. you.

 

From: Keith

Don't text and drive.

 

To: Keith

thanks officer here's my license and paperwork while you're at it

 

Lance parks behind the shop again, and walks in through the back. Coran is there to greet him.

 

"How'd you sleep, Lance?" He asks happily.

 

"Mediocre, Keith was blasting some shitty electronic music until 1 am."

 

"It wasn't shitty, you even asked what artist it was." Keith argues across the room.

 

"I was exaggerating a little, but there was loud music involved." Lance says. 

 

"I stopped at 11." 

 

"Okay, I said I was exaggerating, Keith. What more could you want." 

 

"Now, Lance. I have some things I'd like to go over before you assist with this woman's tattoo later today." Coran smiles.

 

"Oh, yeah. Of course." Lance answers, fully expecting some matter of discussion beforehand. Coran hands him a small book, and a few printed articles.

 

"If you would, I'd like you to read this book, and these articles, and fill out the question at the bottom of each article! Once you're done, bring them back to me, and I'll further discuss the events of today with you. Oughtta be fun!" Coran sings, and Lance stares at him.

 

"So... homework?"

 

"I suppose, yes." Coran agrees, and Lance nods in exasperation, walking the 'staff room' Matt had introduced him to. A.K.A. the small little closet with a singular stool in it. Just enough space to work though.

 

He finally graduates and here he is, doing homework in a closet.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Keith, is a little curious as to how Lance got this apprenticeship. Obviously Lance knew Matt. So Matt definitely could've given him the job, but Matt -being his mentor- doesn't seem like the type of person who would offer the job to someone who doesn't deserve it. Then again, he didn't know the extent of Matt's relationship with Lance, and he didn't feel it was important to know. All he knows is that Lance has to be _somewhat_  experienced.

 

"Keith." Matt calls him. Keith walks over, crossing his arms.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Why do you think Coran is letting Lance start the real stuff so early?"

 

"I don't know, I haven't talked with Coran enough to be able to tell." Keith answers, and Matt laughs.

 

"You haven't talked to anyone enough. Pretty sure all you've said to anyone about yourself is 'hey, I'm Keith' and that's both confusing and impressive. I spew a random fact about myself about every ten minutes." Matt shakes his head, laughing.

 

"I've talked to you?" Keith argues, and Matt claps his hands together.

 

"You've talked to me about work, which is understandable, as I'm your boss." Matt retorts, handing Keith a sheet of paper. Keith looks over it, and it's a list of the tattoos he's scheduled to do today.

 

"So, what am I doing first, and a nice question for you, what will I need for it?" Matt says, spinning around on his stool. Keith explains what he'll need, and gives him a description of the tattoo's placement.

 

"I'm sure you had a consultation appointment with them, as well, so you know it's just a stock tattoo, with a few minor changes." Keith hands the paper back to Matt. Matt nods.

 

"But, don't underestimate the power of the minor change. Changing a stock tattoo woman's eye color from blue to brown might mean something to them." Matt states, pointing at Keith. Matt does that if he's trying to teach something. He points at Keith and says what he's trying to teach, usually in some philosophical and overly complex way. Matt stares down at his paper, sighs, and look back at Keith.

 

"Unfortunately for you, I'm not letting you help with this stuff just yet. But, guess who doesn't have cleaning duty today because fancy Lancy went full blown suburban mom? You. So congrats on that, you're basically standing around all day until I need you to do something." Matt tells him, shoving his paper in his pocket, and putting on a pair of gloves, "Bring on my first of the day." 

 

Keith walks out to the front, greets the man, and escorts him to Matt.

 

"Keith, can you ask Coran when he's got his first tattoo scheduled? Tell me when I'm done, if you would." Matt asks, and Keith obliges, jogging out to Coran, who's talking to a younger woman near the piercing room. She's got a few more piercings than Keith does, that's for sure. Keith walks over next to Coran, and the girl looks at him, and smiles. Coran looks over at him, "Anything you need, Keith?"

 

"Yeah, didn't mean to interrupt. Matt wants to know when you have your first tattoo scheduled today." Keith says, and Coran puts a hand to his chin.

 

"I believe I have it scheduled from 12 to 2." Coran smiles, and then snaps his fingers.

 

"Keith, this is Shay, our body piercist! Shay, this is Keith. Matt's apprentice. You've met, of course." 

 

Shay smiles and nods, "Nice to see you again, Keith."

 

"Likewise. Do you only work on Thursdays?" Keith asks, crossing his arms.

 

"Yeah, and Mondays. I work at few different places throughout the week." She explains, and Keith is oddly distracted by the way her dimple piercings move when she speaks.

 

"Good to know." Keith answers, and Shay looks at Coran.

 

"If Matt has an apprentice, do you?" She asks, and Coran nods, clapping excitedly. 

 

"Lance! Come here a minute, won't you?" Coran yells, and Keith hears a lot of clattering sound towards the back of the shop, before Lance jogs out, holding his book over his head. He looks happy for someone who was just asked to do homework.

 

"What ya need?" Lance asks, grinning. Coran introduces Lance to Shay, and Shay to Lance. Keith is wondering why he's still in this conversation.

 

"That's all! Just figured you'd like to meet Shay here!" Coran says.

 

"Well thanks, it was nice to meet you, and I have to go pick up the massive mess I've made in the staff room." Lance says hurriedly, rushing off again. Lance has irritatingly long legs, and that mildly pisses Keith off. Keith walks back over to Matt, asking if he needs anything. Matt just asks for a washcloth. Keith does as asked, and Matt dismisses him again. Keith figures this is better than having to do homework. Speaking of homework, Keith walks back to the shitty closet they classify as a staff room to find Lance laying down on the ground with his legs propped up on the wall, staring at the ceiling.

 

"That doesn't look like reading, idiot." Keith scoffs. Lance tilts his head back to look at Keith.

 

"It's not, I'm just being an existential fuck."

 

"How so?"

 

"I dunno. Just general existential...ness." Lance shrugs, looking back up at the ceiling.

 

"Can't help you if you don't tell me." Keith states, leaning against the wall.

 

"Oh... oh my god? Is Keith... Is he offering me help? Have I died? Is this heaven or hell? How will I tell?"

 

"Fuck off. I'm leaving." Keith says, pushing off the wall.

 

"Sorry, it was too easy." Lance apologizes, still laughing a bit.

 

"How'd you get the apprenticeship?" Keith asks, and Lance looks back at him again, before spinning around to sit up.

 

"Well, I applied. Matt told me there was a few openings, so that was that, why?"

 

"I thought maybe Matt gave you the job because he knew you."

 

"Fuck you, asshat, I got this job fair and square. Coran was the one going over applications." Lance stands up, balancing his book on his head.

 

"You can't blame me for thinking it, you act like a fifth grader half the time." Keith laughs.

 

"A fifth grader with an associates degree." Lance winks, and Keith snorts. Lance has an odd confused look on his face.

 

"Why are you--"

 

"Keith!" Matt interrupts Keith. He salutes his goodbye to Lance, and jogs over to Matt.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Is Allura here?" Matt asks, and Keith looks over at the front desk, confirming that Allura is, in fact, here. Keith nods.

 

"Well, could you try and convince her to take tomorrow off?" Matt asks, and Keith is about to ask why, but Matt quickly states that she needs it. Keith shrugs, walking up to the front desk.

 

"Allura!" Keith greets her. She smiles, obviously exhausted and it's only 11:30 in the morning.

 

"Hi, Keith. Is Coran here?" She sighs, and Keith nods.

 

"I'll go get him." He says, stepping away from the desk and walking into the piercing room, telling Coran, Allura is here. Coran steps out of the room and heads toward the front desk. Coran looks oddly serious, and a little worried.

 

"Allura, hi. Are you doing alright today?" Coran asks, and Allura nods, smiling, although a little painfully.

 

"I had a couple free minutes, so I thought I'd check how everything was going at my favorite business!" She sings. Coran smiles politely.

 

"It's going well! Great, in fact. Look at how clean this place is!" Coran says, spinning around gesturing to the shop.

 

"I noticed! Did you hire a maid or something?"

 

"Ah, no. But I did hire one hell of an apprentice." Coran winks, and Allura chuckles, "I'm glad."

 

"On another topic, Allura, when will you take a break for a little while? You're overworking yourself. Have been for years now!" Coran says, worried. Allura sighs.

 

"Coran, who would cover for me? I run small businesses, there's no corporate to cover for me. I don't have time."

 

"What about tomorrow?" Keith asks, and both Coran and Allura look at him.

 

"Could you do something tomorrow?" Keith clarifies and Allura takes a deep breath.

 

"I really couldn't, I have--"

 

"Ah, yes! Keith and Lance have the day off tomorrow! You could get to know them! After all, isn't it important to know your employees? Isn't that what you say?" Coran argues, hope and caring flooding his voice.

 

"Coran, even if I wanted to, I have..." Allura stops, and Keith looks at Coran, who's on the verge of crying.

 

"Please don't, Coran. I'm fine, I promise. I'll... I'm sorry." Allura mutters.

 

"Allura. If I can cover for you to the best of my abilities, will you please go?" Coran sighs, speaking quietly.

 

"No one would be at the shop, Coran. Just Matt. Fridays are your busiest days, as well as mine, I can't let--" Allura is stopped by Matt, escorting the man out of the shop.

 

"If it means Allura gets a day off, I'll run the shop, alone." Matt says seriously, Coran smiles, and Allura takes a deep breath.

 

"Fine I'll... I'll talk to you about this later, Coran. But, I'll do my best to stay out of work tomorrow." Allura agrees. Coran laughs, and Allura chuckles.

 

"Please don't cry, Coran, it's not a big deal. Save your crying for tomorrow when you're the one running all these damn businesses." Allura smiles, and it's bright and damn near angelic, and it's still not full, as she's tired and exhausted, but Keith can imagine what it looks like when she's fully and completely content. Lance walks up to the front desk, and he awkwardly places his homework on it. He then walks over besides Keith.

 

"What'd I miss?" Lance asks quietly. Keith sighs.

 

"Allura is taking the day off tomorrow and Coran is crying because he's so happy about it."

 

"Nice." Lance mutters, and starts to walk away. Keith grabs his wrist to stop him, and lets go when he looks back at him.

 

"Also, I may have accidentally invited Allura to come with us to see your friends tomorrow through Coran."

 

"That's... alright. I'll text everyone about it."

 

"Please do NOT use the group text." Keith says, as Lance walks away. Lance turns around for a second, grinning smugly, and Keith feels his phone buzz.

 

"Goddamnit, Lance."

 

\----

 

From: Pidge

speaking of food wat exactly r we doing 2morrow

 

From: Hunk

I think shiro said something about karaoke ;)

 

From: Shiro

No, that was you. I've sworn off karaoke since the end of highschool.

 

From: Lance

oho?? tell me the tragic karaoke backstory Shiro.

 

From: Shiro 

Long story short, I may or may not have sung Toxic in front of the entire school.

 

From: Lance

video or it didn't happen.

 

From: Shiro 

Why would I keep a video? It was embarassing and I was known as Britney Spears for the last half of my senior year.

 

From: Pidge

i think i found it

 

To: Group msg

Honestly, how did this go from discussing tomorrow's activities to finding a video of Shiro singing Toxic.

 

From: Lance

I think it's been decided that we're definitely doing karaoke tomorrow. definitely. and everyone but Shiro HAS to sing Toxic. I don't care if Allura is my bosses boss she's singing Toxic.

 

From: Hunk

Lance last time you sang my mom cried owo;

 

From: Lance

those were tears of joy.

 

From: Pidge

honestly i only want 2 hear my boy hunk sing bc he has a voice like a baby angel

 

From: Hunk 

Aww thanks Pidge :3c

 

From: Shiro 

Alright, fine. I'll relive that horrid karaoke memory as long as everyone else has to do at least one song, and I'm free to do it or not.

 

To: Group msg

Does that include me?

 

From: Lance

yes.

 

From: Pidge

ya

 

From: Hunk

Definitely ;)

 

From: Shiro

Of course.

 

To: Group msg

Fuck that.

 

Keith turns his phone off, hopping off his car, and walking back into the shop. Lance had done 'fantastic' on the tattoo according to Coran, and then Coran decided to give everyone a half hour break (who could take a break, and wasn't actively tattoing someone) in honor of it. Keith had about 10 minutes left in his break, and he figured he wasn't going to spend all of his break sitting on his car, texting the group chat. Apparently, Lance wasn't either, because when Keith gets inside, he and Shay are discussing piercings. Keith recalls the fact Lance has 5, and Keith only knows where two are.

 

"Ah, Keith! I wanted to know how many piercings you have?" Shay asks.

 

"16, last I checked."

 

"Hey, I have 32! That's 16 times 2." Shay hums, and Keith laughs.

 

"Yeah, did Lance tell you he has 5?" Keith asks, and Shay looks interested, "He did not."

 

"Yes, I have 5, and Keith is using a cheap tactic to try and locate the other 3." Lance laughs, sticking out his tongue mockingly. So, no tongue piercing.

 

"Mm. You seem like you'd have more inconspicuous piercings. So like, a microdermal? Do you have a microdermal anywhere?" Shay asks, and Lance looks over at Keith.

 

"I'm afraid that information is confidential." Lance says smugly, and Keith almost kicks Lance in the shin. 

 

"But! I will confirm your claim that I have inconspicuous piercings." Lance clasps his hands together in front of his face.

 

"Nice! I was gonna say, if you did have a microdermal, I have 4! I have one on each hip, and one on each shoulderblade. Here, one second." Shay tells them, pulling her shirt up a little, to show off a small orange stud embedded on her hip.

 

"See, I was considering getting something like that, but I feel like it'd hurt to wear pants?" Lance shrugs. Shay laughs.

 

"Well, it's like getting your collarbones pierced! It'll be awkward to wear shirts for a while and then once it heals a bit, it feels fine." Shay explains, and Keith watches Lance reach up to touch his collarbone. 

 

"Oh I'm sure they're both pretty awkward for a while." Lance smiles, and Coran yells to everyone that their break is over. But it's not too important, because they have 20 minutes until they're done working for the day. Keith jogs over to Matt, who's cleaning up after his last tattoo's mess.

 

"Anything you need me to do?" Keith asks, and Matt shakes his head.

 

"Just wish me luck running the shop by myself on a Friday." Matt sighs, throwing away a pair of gloves.

 

"Good luck." Keith laughs. Matt groans, walking out of the room.

 

"What's his problem?" Lance asks, standing in the opening to the room.

 

"He has to run the shop by himself tomorrow." Keith answers, patting Lance's shoulder as he walks by.

 

"What, why?" Lance chases after him, but with his fucking long ass legs, he's pretty much already caught up.

 

"So Allura can have her day off? Coran has to cover for Allura, and you already had the day off tomorrow, I just got the day off as well, which was a bonus. That leaves just Matt here. And since Fridays are the busiest days, we shouldn't lose it."

 

"Damn, now I feel bad." Lance says quietly.

 

"No you don't." Keith scoffs.

 

"I don't. I have the day off, and all my friends are singing Toxic tomorrow. I feel bad that I don't feel bad, though." Lance grins. Keith looks over at him with disdain.

 

"Hey, even _you_ said having the day off was a bonus. So don't go looking at me like I'm the devil himself."

 

"From what I've seen and heard, you _are_ the goddamn devil."

 

"Rude." Lance gasps.

 

"Looks deceive, Lance. And your tattooless self would never portray that you're satan himself."

 

"Mm. So you're saying that because you're pretty and have lots of tattoos, you're an angel or some shit? Because if I, a... tattooless person, am satan, wouldn't you, a tattooed person, be an angel?" Lance laughs. Keith ignores most of what Lance said. Most of it.

 

"Shut the fuck up, I'm just saying that you might look different than you act." Keith clarifies.

 

"Mm. Sure." Lance hums. Keith rolls his eyes.

 

"Odd question." Lance says, and Keith nods, confirming he can ask.

 

"Have you ever named your car?"

 

"What the fuck?" Keith stops just behind the front desk.

 

"What? I know plenty of people that name their cars! I named mine Bart." Lance looks confused.

 

"You named your car Bart?" Keith chuckles.

 

"Hell yeah."

 

"Uh, the answer is no, I've never named my car."

 

"Then... can I name your car?" Lance inquires. Keith looks at him in amazement.

 

"Why do you want to name my car?" Keith says, leaning against the desk.

 

"Because you're too boring to do it." Lance laughs. Keith wants to argue that point, but he's sure he has more evidence stacked against him than he has arguements to dispel such evidence.

 

"No. I'll name my own car."

 

"What are you gonna name it?"

 

"Uh, Ben."

 

"That was fast." Lance blurts, "Like, really fast."

 

"Unlike my car." Keith responds. Lance claps.

 

"You roasted your car instead of me! There was a total opening there and you roasted your car instead!"

 

"So?"

 

"That means you don't want to roast me as much anymore, I'm honored." Lance fakes a sob.

 

"Or maybe my car is just shittier than you."

 

"Was that a compliment or an insult?" Lance scrunches his eyebrows together. Keith laughs. 

 

"What do you think, dumbass?" 

 

"Fuck you." 

 

"We're closing, so lock the doors when you leave." Coran says, tapping the counter of the front desk.

 

"Why would we stay behind?" Keith says, walking over to lock the front door. Coran shrugs, "I don't know."

 

Lance jogs over to the back door, and opens it for Coran, who thanks him. When Keith walks over and out the door as well, Lance makes a sad whining sound.

 

"I'm not gonna thank you."

 

"You have no manners."

 

"Says you." Keith kicks Lance in the leg.

 

"Ow." Lance exclaims, walking over to his car. Keith gives him a small wave, before climbing into his own car. He checks his phone.

 

From: Lance

god no, do  N O T  make a cake with my face on it, like, can you imagine someone eating a cake with your face on it??? i feel like they'd be eating me.

 

From: Shiro

I don't think anyone wants to eat you, Lance.

 

From: Pidge

im not 2 sure about that shiro i used 2 kno a few people that were interested 

 

From: Pidge 

it was weird tho bc like if anyone ever had any interest in lance they came 2 me

 

From: Shiro

I definitely did not mean to burn Lance and I sure as hell didn't mean for it to be a sexual burn.

 

From: Lance

it's all good Shiro I've been burned too many times to care. however, I am D E E P L Y interested in knowing who the fuck was interested in me.

 

To: Group msg

Lance.

 

From: Lance

what?

 

To: Group msg

Don't text and drive.

 

From: Lance

fuck off.

 

From: Pidge

well there was jeremy from highschool and rachel also from highschool and most recently there was beth from our computer science class

 

From: Lance

YOURR KIDDING ME I HAD THE BIGGEST CRU AH ON JEREMY

 

From: Pidge

why didnt u tell me i couldve set u tf up

 

From: Shiro

I have to sleep, see you all tomorrow. Speaking of, where are we meeting and when?

 

From: Lance

I vote Balmera Karaoke at 2.

 

From: Hunk

Agreed uwu

 

To: Group msg 

I have no idea where that is.

 

From: Pidge

its all good lance can take u im sure

 

From: Lance

or he could get directions his damn self????

 

From: Pidge

take him lance

 

From: Lance

no.

 

From: Pidge

t a k e h i m l a n c e 

 

From: Lance

NO!!!!

 

To: Group msg

I can get directions?

 

From: Pidge 

l e t l a n c e t a k e y o u

 

From: Lance

STO P.

 

To: Group msg

Okay, well, I'm going to head home now. I'll text when I'm there.

 

Keith turns his phone off, and stares at his keys in the ignition. Keith sighs, turning his car on, and backing out of his parking spot.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya this is keiths pov kill me
> 
> i'm sorry 4 the sadness w allura there for a minute but i can assure you she gonna be happy real soon


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, Lance, it's like 12." 

 

"What?" Lance sits up, staring at Keith. He's got his hair down, and it looks just as nice as it does pulled up, unfortunately.

 

"I said it's 12. And I don't know exactly how long it takes to get to wherever we're going. I figured I'd give your lazy ass until 12 to get up." Keith explains, and Lance notes the lack of hostility in Keith's voice.

 

"It takes like, half an hour. Or, maybe 45 minutes from here. Did you get Allura up?" Lance yawns, jumping out of bed and nearly falling over. He swears Keith laughs.

 

"I tried? I don't think she's had the chance to sleep this long for a while. She's not getting up until she HAS to, from her reactions."

 

"Eh, let her sleep. She needs it more than I do." Lance mutters, and Keith nods, knocking on his door before he leaves the doorway.

 

"Typically you knock before you enter, not after." Lance yells.

 

"Fuck off, shithead." Keith responds, obviously halfway down the stairs. Lance smiles, mindlessly picking out various clothes to wear. He walks downstairs once he's done, and Keith is turning on the Wii.

 

"Please tell me you aren't gonna play that right now." Lance says, looking at the 

 

"Depends. Are you going to play?" Keith answers, putting a hand on his hip. His hip is cocked to the side just a bit, and it's just-- not the question.

 

"Only if it's Mario Kart." Lance blurts, and Keith shrugs, opening it.

 

"Is Mario Kart the only Wii game you're good at?" Keith mocks.

 

"Hey. I happen to be pretty good at Wii Sports Tennis." 

 

"Mm. Do you just fling the remote around like a goddamn idiot trying to hit the ball, or do you actually play it like you're _supposed_ to?" Keith grins, and Lance coughs.

 

"Wait, you're not supposed to just shake the remote around?"

 

"No, definitely not." Keith laughs, and Lance punches him in the arm. Keith hands him a remote. Lance picks Peach, as everyone should. The next 20 minutes are spent with Lance pretty much destroying every race, with Keith in second. Allura comes downstairs around 12:40, fully dressed and ready to go.

 

"Where'd the Wii come from?" Allura asks, and Lance pauses the game.

 

"It's your Wii, right?" Lance asks, and Allura shrugs.

 

"At this point, I could have 5 cats, and I wouldn't know it." She sighs. Keith turns the Wii off.

 

"Also, where'd all the food come from? I was going to get food later this week, but everything's already here?" Allura leans up against the kitchen entryway, drinking what looks like tea.

 

"You can thank Hunk when you meet him. A man of many bets." Lance hums. Keith nods, "That he is."

 

"Did he make a bet with you?" Lance twists around to look at Keith. Keith winks.

 

"Classified, I'm afraid." Keith answers, punching Lance's arm. Lance will strangle Hunk as soon as he sees him. Allura chuckles.

 

"Glad you two aren't insulting each other every 15 seconds now."

 

"Well, that's partially true. I'm 90% sure Keith still has the capability to insult me at any given moment." Lance states, gesturing to Keith.

 

"I do." Keith confirms.

 

" _See_?"

 

"Mm. So when are we leaving?" Allura asks, sipping the last of her tea, setting it in the sink.

 

"Well, for safety, I vote, uh... 10 minutes."

 

"Alright, are we taking separate cars?" Allura inquires, amd Keith shrugs.

 

"Depends on whether you want to listen to the same three songs on repeat."

 

"Separate cars then." Keith states, but Lance puts a finger up to signify he has another point to make.

 

"But, if we all take one car, we can use the carpool lane." Lance explains, and Allura takes a deep breath, tapping at her arm.

 

"Okay, why don't you and Keith take one car, and I'll take mine." Allura argues, and Lance gives her a thumbs up.

 

"Allura, have you named your car?" Lance asks quickly and she looks over at him in confusion for a second.

 

"Yeah, Violet." She answers, walking away. Lance throws his hands over his head, staring at Keith to make a point. Keith smiles, and claps his hands together.

 

"Congratulations, you've made your point."

 

"So, are we taking Ben, or Bart?"

 

"God that shit creeps me out. Now I feel like my car has feelings." Keith tells him.

 

"So, Bart?"

 

"I don't care."

 

"Bart it is." Lance says, snapping his fingers into finger guns. Keith stares at him, unamused. Lance sighs.

 

"You're impossible. Do you have all your stuff?" He says. Keith nods.

 

"Then, let's go." 

 

\----

 

Lance pulls up to a parking spot at 1:43, a minute after Allura, shuts off the car, and checks his phone. Keith, who had the luxury of not driving, had enforced his evil no texting while driving morals on the trip here, all the while checking his own phone as if he was taunting Lance. He probably was, knowing Keith. Fucking _Keith_.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I'm leaving soon okay don't judge I'll be there a little late owo;;

 

From: Pigeon Gum

well ill b there in like 2 minutes so peace out dirty rats

 

From: Shit oh

I'm halfway there so maybe, 6 minutes?

 

To: Group msg

guess who's here first, bitches.

 

From: Keith

Why is that a bragging point?

 

To: Group msg

I don't know, why are you text talking to me when you're sitting right next to me????

 

From: Pigeon Gum

oho did u take him

 

From: Keith

We took the same car if that's what you mean.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

yes thats definitely what i mean right lance

 

To: Group msg

I will kick your ass, Pidge. I swear to G O D.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

k well im parkin now so get out of ur car and square up

 

Lance does get out of the car, but he doesn't actually get ready to fight, which is a mistake because Pidge punches him in the stomach when they get over to him. Not hard, but it still hurts a bit. Pidge laughs evilly, with no regard for the punches effect on Lance.

 

"Anyway, how's your tattoo feeling?" Pidge asks, and Lance then realizes he's made a grave mistake. He's wearing a short sleeve shirt under his jacket, and given the fact that  last time he was here they had shit air conditioning, he'll likely have to take off his jacket eventually.

 

"Dude, is your tattoo, like, haunted or something, you look like you've just been stabbed?" Pidge says, and Lance explains the situation quickly, as Keith gets out of the car.

 

"Well, shit. Is it that important to your ego to keep this hi-- Hey! I assume you're Keith." Pidge hums, sticking a hand out. Keith shakes it and nods.

 

"You know, given the way Lance initially described you, I thought you'd be more intimidating. But, I mean, you're wearing sport leggings and a hoodie."

 

"It was probably the tattoos."

 

"How many do you have? And can I see?" Pidge claps excitedly.

 

"23. And you can see most of them, but I'm not taking any clothing off besides the hoodie." Keith answers, pulling said hoodie off, and Pidge takes a deep breath.

 

"Ooh, I like this one!" Pidge points at his left inside forearm, and Lance mentally kicks himself for not seeing that one before. It's just a cute little cat face with a few flowers around it.

 

"Yeah? This was the first one I got. Technically. I got two on the same day, but this was the first one of the two." Keith explains happily. Pidge nods, "What was the other one?"

 

"This one here." Keith lifts his left leg up and leans down a bit, pointing at a little crown right above the tongue of his shoe.

 

"What's your newest tattoo?" 

 

"That's- this one." Keith sticks his right leg out a bit, showcasing a tiny black pawprint with a little rectangle underneath it.

 

"Do you just really like cats?" Pidge says, and Keith laughs.

 

"I'm indifferent."

 

"Shiro's here." Lance interrupts, as Shiro jogs over, waving.

 

"I am here." Shiro confirms, smiling. Keith introduces himself, and Shiro does the same.

 

"So, Hunk said he'd be late, do you think we should just head in?" Shiro asks, and Lance nods. Everyone seems to agree with that. Lance kicks the front of Allura's car. She's on her phone, and doesn't seem to know to get out of the car. She looks up at Lance for a second, before eventually getting out. Shiro starts choking on air apparently, and Pidge and Keith both tend to him as if he was a child.

 

Allura walks over to the main group, and introduces herself. Pidge shakes her hand. Shiro is still coughing; Allura looks mildly amused by this.

 

"God- sorry, it's- okay." Shiro stutters through his coughing fit. Lance laughs, "Allura, this is Shiro."

 

"Nice to meet you, Shiro." She laughs, and he gives her a thumbs up followed by a weak "likewise."

 

"Are we heading in?" Keith asks, and Lance scoffs.

 

"Of course, Keith. Pay attention, dude." 

 

"Pidge was asking about my tattoos."

 

"Hi, I'm Keith and I'm so pretty and also smart, and hey, look I have 16 piercings and 23 tattoos, wow look at them how did those get there?" Lance mocks, walking through the front door that Shiro is shamefully holding open. Keith kicks him. Keith is quiet for a minute.

 

"Did you really count all my piercings?" 

 

"Uh, yeah."

 

"Mm." Keith hums.

 

"Jesus, you're making me feel weird. I just wanted to know how many you had!" Lance argues, and Keith laughs. It's a nice melodic laugh.

 

"And if I told you I had more?" Keith says softly. Lance stops, and looks at him.

 

"Do you?"

 

"No."

 

"Then don't say you do!" Lance yells, exasperated. Keith grins.

 

"I know you have more." Keith tells Lance.

 

"Yeah, because I told you." Lance sighs. It's hot in here, as suspected.

 

"Yes, but you actually have piercings I can't locate so you have leverage."

 

"Leverage for what?"

 

"I dunno." Keith shrugs.

 

"How much would you pay me to know where one of them is?" Lance asks, crossing his arms.

 

"Mm, let's see... I'll give you nothing." Keith scoffs.

 

"Yo, Lance are you gonna sit or what?" Pidge asks, and Lance nods, sitting in whatever kind of shitty chair this is. Keith sits next to him.

 

"How about all the change in your wallet, right now." Lance bargains, and Keith takes a second before taking his wallet out and dumping a total of 12 cents on the table.

 

"There you go." Keith laughs. Lance takes it.

 

"Well, I can still brag that you paid me to know." Lance grins, sticking his tongue out. Not far enough to give away his piercing, because like hell he's giving that one away. Keith snorts. Lance peels off one side of his jacket, the side that isn't concealing his tattoo, and pulls his shirt's neckline down and to the side, tapping on the stud on his collarbone.

 

"Ooh, nice. I'm assuming there's one on the other side too, so that just leaves one piercing."

 

"Correct. Have fun finding _that_ one." Lance grins. Keith rolls his eyes.

 

"--actually run? That sounds stressful." Shiro says, as Lance tunes into the other conversation going on.

 

"I run 11 small businesses, and it is stressful. This is my first day off in, uh... 2 years?"

 

"What the fuck, Allura." Pidge mutters. Allura smiles awkwardly.

 

"I don't know, I just don't really have anyone to cover for me." She mumbles, pressing her face into her hand.

 

"Well now EVERYONE has to sing. For Allura." Pidge says, and Shiro winces, as if he's in pain.

 

"Oh, god. Please don't make me do this." Shiro says, and Allura smiles. It's one of the big bright ones that mean she's actually happy. Shiro starts coughing again, but it's a much smaller duration.

 

"I'd appreciate it if no one died on my day off." Allura says, looking at Shiro.

 

"I promise to try my best." Shiro answers, and Pidge nods in agreement.

 

"I won't die." Keith tells her. Lance nods.

 

"I don't know what y'all are talking about with the _dying_ over here, but you oughtta stop. Depressing." Hunk says, approaching the table.

 

"Hunk, this is Allura. Allura, this is Hunk." Shiro says. Hunk shakes her hand.

 

"You're the one that bought me food!"

 

"Yes. That was me." Hunk smiles.

 

"Now that everyone's here, who's singing first?" Lance asks, and Pidge snaps their fingers.

 

"I made a list of worst to best singers in the group, minus Allura and Keith, because I've never heard them sing so I figured--"

 

"You haven't heard me sing either, though." Shiro blurts, confused.

 

"Oh, yes. I have. I found the video, Shiro. You and your Toxic."

 

"Oh god." Shiro sighs.

 

"Anyway, I've decided you don't have to sing Toxic specifically, just a song. And the order is going from worst to best, except we're all pretty okay at carrying a tune so it's from mediocre to a slightly better mediocre. Keith and Allura can go whenever they want because I don't have a set spot for them. I'll go first, followed by Lance, followed by Shiro, and then Hunk, my angel." Pidge explains, and Hunk puts a hand to his heart, smiling.

 

"I'm touched." Hunk fake cries.

 

"I'll go after Shiro." Allura adds. 

 

"I'll go after Allura, then." Keith states plainly. Pidge nods, standing up and walking up to the microphone attached to a machine at the end of the table.

 

"I will be singing a classic. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by Eurythmics. Thank you." Pidge says, starting the song. Lance feels it's an appropriate choice for Pidge. It was either going to be this or All Star by Smash Mouth, Lance thinks. He should ask Pidge if they would've done All Star. Probably.

 

Lance realizes he's next, and he's got nothing to sing. The only song he has memorized is the ABC's and even now, that's getting iffy. Does S come before H? God, this is stressful. Pidge's song is over before he knows it, and he's begrudgingly walking to the end of the table.

 

"I have no idea what I'm singing so, let me go through the damn machine for a minute." Lance announces. Eventually he finds one.

 

"Okay, here. Colourless Colour by La Roux. I sang this last time I was here, let's do it again, hell yeah." Lance says, playing it. He vaguely remembers the words. Something about the 90's and knowing people. At least the lyrics are showing up on this irrationally tiny screen. The rest of the time he's just mindlessly reading the lyrics, and watching Pidge write down various notes. 

 

He forgot about the notes, actually. Every time more than one person goes to karaoke with Pidge, Pidge chooses a winner. Lance knows he's not winning, that's for sure, because the song's over and he's relieved. 

 

Pidge forces Shiro up, and Shiro groans.

 

"Fine, jesus. Here we go. Whatever this is." Shiro obviously doesn't pick according to what he knows or is good at, he just presses shuffle, but that just makes it even better, because he has no idea what he's singing. Something about venom and blood. He's pretty good, but the fact he doesn't know the song throws him off.

 

"Ladies and gentleman, that was Hot Venom by Miniature Tigers. I will never do this again." Shiro bows, handing Allura the microphone. She sighs, scrolling through the songs. Lance is getting uncomfortably warm. _God_ , he needs to take his jacket off. 

 

"Ah. Here. John Wayne - Lady Gaga!" She exclaims, a little happily. The song starts, and she speaks the little part in the beginning. She's good though, and she's obviously sung before, she's not nervous or anything. Maybe she's performed in front of people. Who knows. When her song is over, Keith groans, running his hands over his face.

 

"Do I have to?" He asks, and everyone nods. He sighs, standing up, and taking the microphone. When he chose his song it was like a bad clickbait article. Man is Forced to do Karaoke, and his Choice will Shock You! Or something. He picks something by Gwen Stefani, for one. Lance laughs, and Keith sighs, continuing on with the song.

 

It's a good song however, and Keith sings it well. Keith has a good voice. It's probably good for a lot of things, Lance thinks, and immediately proceeds to actually physically smack his head on the table. What the fuck, Lance. God, it's Keith's fault. Fucking Keith. Why is it so hot in here, _jesus_. Lance gives up and takes his jacket off, practically seconds after the song ends. 

 

"I'm--" Keith stares at Lance for a second, "Sorry, I'm done."

 

Keith hands the microphone to Hunk, who says something to Keith quickly and quietly. Keith flips him off, and Hunk laughs.

 

"What'd Hunk say?" Lance asks, and Keith shrugs, ignoring him, "You have a tattoo?" 

 

"Yeah, bitch. Can't believe you never noticed." Lance laughs. Keith sighs in defeat. 

 

"I feel like you played me a little with the whole tattoo thing." Keith grins, leaning his face on his hands.

 

"Oh, I totally did. I wanted you to feel endless despair and confusion. After all you'd said about me not having a tattoo. Do you feel it?"

 

"No, but, can I make it up to you by telling you it's a really nice tattoo?" Keith answers. Lance grins smugly, nodding.

 

"I can't believe you want to make something up to me that's so sweet and honestly I'm a little--" Lance gets punched in the arm, hard, "OW!"

 

"I recind my offer." Keith says, plain and final. Lance makes a whining noise. Hunk finishes his song and everyone applauds, and Lance didn't even realize he was singing. He claps anyway. Pidge stands up on their chair.

 

"I have an announcement to make regarding the winner of today's karaoke battle--" Lance stops listening when Keith leans over to him, "Does Pidge always make it a contest?"

 

"Yeah, pretty much." Lance looks back at him, and he looks so far away. Despite, what, being a foot away? Lance wonders why the fuck a foot away is far to him. He focuses back in on Pidge.

 

"--so I mean, it was hard. But, in the end, I'm sorry Hunk, but I give it to Allura. You were my beautiful and pure reigning champion."

 

"I still am, in your heart." Hunk says politely, and Pidge nods.

 

"I love you, buddy."

 

"I love you too, Pidge. I'll never forget when I was champion. _Never_."

 

"I feel like I've been shoved into a group of friends I don't belong in." Keith says, and Lance twists around to look at him.

 

"What, why?"

 

"Nothing really, I'm just out of place. You guys seem pretty close."

 

"Well, I consider you a friend, and so they should - _and will_ \- too." Lance states, staring at Keith.

 

"Uh." Keith mutters.

 

"I finally left you with no words. I'm so satisfied."

 

"That's not what your last girlfriend said." Keith blurts, and Lance slaps the table. 

 

"I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A FUN TIME, AND I'M HONESTLY BEING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW." Lance screams, and Keith laughs. Hunk is staring at Lance intently, with a big all-knowing grin.

 

"Hunk, I swear to fucking GOD, if you don't tell me what you're up to." Lance points at him. Hunk throws his hands up in surrender.

 

"I'm innocent, I swear."

 

" _Sure_ you are." Keith snorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the songs sung in this chapter are on the playlist I listen to when I'm writing this fic smh I bet you can't guess what Gwen Stefani song it was (hint: it was Make Me Like You)
> 
> I have plans for the fifth piercing ohoho


	7. Chapter 7

From: Keith

What exactly is it you want from me right now?

 

To: Keith

I want you to stop at any fast food place when you're done shopping and get me any milkshake, that's all.

 

From: Keith

What's your least favorite flavor?

 

To: Keith

you realize I could just tell you my favorite is my least favorite so you actually get my fave???

 

From: Keith

How do you know I won't get the opposite of whatever you say, either way?

 

To: Keith

this is a dangerous game you're playing here. vanilla.

 

From: Keith

Vanilla is your least favorite?

 

To: Keith

yes.

 

From: Keith

Are you joking?

 

To: Keith

fuck off.

 

From: Keith 

Yikes.

 

To: Keith 

did you just yike me??

 

From: Keith

Fuck off.

 

To: Keith

do you yike me Keith????

 

From: Keith

Fuck. Off.

 

To: Keith

yikes.

 

Lance had accidentally invited everyone over to Allura's house after karaoke was done, and the house had become a mess, somehow. Lance was not involved. Mostly. To say the least, it wasn't pretty this morning when Lance woke up. And Keith had managed to get out of cleaning by going shopping for some random thing. 

 

Everyone seemed to think Lance was the man to clean up. And if he wanted to, then hell yeah, he'd have this shit clean in minutes. But, when Lance didn't want to clean something, it sat for ages and ages and ages getting even more dirty until someone forced Lance to clean it, or he finally wanted to. He had managed to clean the living room before he had finally run out of determination, at the very least. And now, at 10 am on a Saturday, Lance was sitting upside down on a couch, desperately trying to convince his evil friend to get him a milkshake.

 

His life was sad. But, a little _less_ sad than it normally was. In his opinion.

 

Eventually, Keith stops responding, so Lance ends up staring at the ceiling. God, what the fuck was Keith even shopping for? Keith is unpredictable. He could be buying 200 bottles of Windex and it wouldn't be weird. Maybe he's buying new jewelry for all of his stupid piercings. Maybe he's getting another piercing. That doesn't seem impossible. Wait, _shit_ , no. 

 

"Goddamn it, you have to clean the house, why are you thinking about cleaning products and Keith." Lance tells himself, standing up, and heading to the kitchen.

 

"Whoa, what the hell happened in here?" Lance asks himself. The blender is on the floor, along with it's contents. Some of it is on the cupboards. That's the main problem with the room, followed by a few minor problems like the massive amount of dishes in the sink, the fridge missing a handle, and an entire watermelon being in the garbage. Lance decides leaving this one to Keith is best. He'll clean everything else, besides the kitchen. And he does, slowly. It's now, 11:23 am and Lance has cleaned everything but the kitchen.

 

To: Keith

you're cleaning the kitchen.

 

From: Keith 

That's it?

 

To: Keith

yep.

 

From: Keith

That's the dirtiest room, isn't it?

 

To: Keith

yep.

 

From: Keith 

What do I have to do in order to not clean the kitchen?

 

To: Keith

hmmm....... you could maybe tell me what the bet you made witH HUNK WAS ABOUT??????

 

From: Keith

So, about cleaning the kitchen.

 

To: Keith

P L E A S E.

 

From: Keith

Ask Hunk yourself.

 

Lance does exactly that, leaving that conversation and scrolling down to find Hunk's contact, opening up a new message. Man, _fuck_ Keith and his stupid bet with Hunk. Fuck Hunk for betting on everything and being right 90% of the time.

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

please tell me what you and Keith's bet is about.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Do you really want to know or are you just jealous he's talking to me >:3c

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I'm going to kick you into space.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Please do I mean I would love to be punted off planet

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

shut your fuck and tell me.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

It was a bet on how long it would it take you to ask me what this bet was about –u–

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

you're joking.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

No ask Keith :/

 

Lance does NOT ask Keith because he knows this is some big set-up to cover up the real bet. The actual bet is probably something like 'will Lance drop out of his apprenticeship' and Keith is betting he will, while Hunk, always the caring friend, would bet he would stay in.

 

"Lance, what are you doing." Keith asks, standing in the front doorway, holding two grocery bags and a milkshake. Lance imagines what he looks like right now from Keith's perspective. Laying shirtless on the dining room table with multiple layers of duct tape wrapped around the cuff of his pants, toilet paper wrapped around most of his neck and head. You could say he got bored.

 

"Setting some pretty high goddamn bars for a roommate, and some sweet new fashion trends for the world, what does it look like." Lance jumps off the table.

 

"You look like a cheap porn star version of a mummy." 

 

"At least I look like a porn star." Lance scoffs, walking over. Keith rolls his eyes, and hands him the milkshake.

 

"What flavor is it?" Lance asks, and Keith laughs, "As if I'd tell you."

 

It's strawberry. Lance is indifferent towards strawberry. Good enough.

 

"Thanks, Keith."

 

"Look at you, thanking me." Keith mocks, and Lance chokes on his shake.

 

"Eat shit, Keith. I have _manners_." Lance argues, and Keith shrugs.

 

"I haven't had to thank you for anything, so how do you know I don't have manners?" Keith inquires.

 

"You- it's- damn, you're right. Now I gotta do something to make you thank me."

 

"You could clean this dirty ass kitchen for me?"

 

"Ooh, sorry Keith. Can't do that. The kitchen is your burden to bear." Lance laughs. Keith sighs.

 

"You're gonna regret making me clean this kitchen someday." He says, walking into said kitchen.

 

"Yes, I'm sure someday when I'm a famed tattoo artist, you'll reveal I made you clean a dirty kitchen, and I'll lose _all_ credibility." Lance answers, very sarcastically. Keith laughs from the kitchen. Lance stands in one spot, thinking this vaguely reminds him of something. Of course, he never places it, and he runs upstairs to change his clothes instead. He's got himself completely ready to leave the house when Shiro texts him. Perfect timing.

 

From: Shit oh

Hey, sorry, so you said you were allowed to help with tattoos now, yesterday and I was wondering when you could do mine.

 

From: Shit oh

Also, do you have Allura's phone number because she gave it to me but I lost it.

 

From: Shit oh

Nevermind, it was in my jacket.

 

To: Shit oh

one, just schedule it and I can help with it as long as I tell Coran you wanted me to help, and two, WHAT THE FU CK!!!

 

From: Shit oh

What?

 

To: Shit oh

Allura is busy as fuck??? she literally gives her number out to no one??? i think just Coran has her number. 

 

From: Shit oh

Then why'd she give it to me?

 

From: Shit oh

Stupid question, I realize now.

 

To: Shit oh

you bet your ass that's a stupid question!! text her and tell me how quickly she replies. also, can I come over??

 

From: Shit oh

I'm hanging out with Pidge at their house, but they said and I quote "Hell yeah, invite Lance over."

 

From: Shit oh

She responded in, 3 minutes.

 

To: Shit oh

damn, I'm coming over.

 

Lance grabs a jacket and his keys, running out of the house with a quick 'bye, I'm leaving' thrown in Keith's general direction. He gets to Pidge's house about 15 minutes later, knocking vigorously. Mr. Holt opens the door, smiling.

 

"Lance." He says.

 

"Mr. Holt." Lance responds stiffly. Talking to teachers outside of school is weird. Pidge appears behind their father, inviting Lance in. Lance smiles, walking in past Mr.Holt and waving at Shiro, who's too engulfed in his phone to care. The only motion he sees from Shiro for the next ten minutes is him covering his face and muttering random sentences.

 

"So, Pidge, what are we doing home on such a fine Saturday afternoon."

 

"I'm building a robot dog."

 

"Why? Why isn't Rover enough for you already?" Lance asks, gesturing to the silver pitbull sleeping peacefully on their sofa.

 

"Rover is my smart beautiful son, and I love him, which is why I'm basing said robot dog on him." Pidge clarifies, smiling at Rover when he rouses at his name being called.

 

"Good. You're a good boy, Rover. Never change." Lance says, sitting down next to him, and petting him. He yawns and goes back to sleep.

 

"This is what I have so far." Pidge says, pointing at the pile of wires, wheels, motherboards, and various other parts in front of them. 

 

"What's it do?"

 

"Well it responds to the name robot, like a dog would respond to their name, and it can walk. And with the walking, it can partially come when called." Pidge explains, and Lance raises an eyebrow.

 

"Partially?"

 

"Yeah, it'll find you, and then it'll walk straight past you. So, _partial_."

 

"Mm." Lance hums in understanding. Pidge shrugs.

 

"Anyway, how's your cleaning been going?" Pidge asks smugly.

 

"Mediocre. I do have a question though. What exactly happened with the blender? I passed out around 8." Lance inquires. Pidge laughs.

 

"Shiro was trying to make some sort of smoothie, and then Hunk accidentally knocked it into the fridge, and it fell on the floor. That was around the time everyone started leaving. Except you and Keith, because you live there. You were passed out on the couch and he was downstairs in his room doing god knows what." Pidge tells him.

 

"Did the blender also take out the refrigerator handle?"

 

"Yeah." Pidge grins. Lance kicks them in the leg. He remembers his oath to make Keith thank him.

 

"Unrelated question. What's something nice I could do for Keith that would warrant thanking?" Lance looks over at Pidge, who is making the most suggestive face humanly possible, "You could always--"

 

"Please _never_ say what you were about to." Lance interrupts. Pidge shrugs.

 

"Buy him a gift or something." 

 

"Yeah, because I'm totally gonna just buy this fucker a gift? No, it's gotta overshadow him buying me a milkshake I partially begged for."

 

"Well, I don't know, Keith hasn't told me anything about himself. And it doesn't he's told you anything either, given you don't know how to get him to thank you."

 

"Maybe I could just, go about my business as usual?" Lance shrugs.

 

"Or, you could wring the man of information. Play truth or dare with him or some shit."

 

"You can play truth or dare with two people, it's like an unwritten _rule_ that if two people play it with no one else, there's unresolved sexual tension there, and eventually one of them will dare the other to kiss them."

 

"Lance, how often do you think about the unwritten rules of truth or dare?" Pidge snorts.

 

"Shut up. Maybe I should just start asking him more questions? Or would that be weird? Like an interview." 

 

"Ooh, a boss-employee kink, how--"

 

" _PIDGE_."

 

\----

 

Lance flops onto the couch, and Keith walks up from downstairs, quickly looking over the room. He rolls his eyes at Lance, starting to head back downstairs.

 

"Wait, Keith, I have a few questions." Lance mutters into the cushions of the couch. Keith groans, turning around and walking over.

 

"What?"

 

"One, what's your favorite color? Two, have you ever been to a concert? And three, isn't it an unwritten rule of truth or dare that if ONLY two people play it, they'll inevitably end up having sex?"

 

"One, probably red, if I had to pick. Two, no, I don't want to. Three, definitely. Why?" Keith answers.

 

"I don't know, you never really talk about yourself, and I was trying to figure out ways to get you to thank me, but like most everything I try to do, I couldn't do it. So I figured, hey, maybe if I know more about Keith I can figure something out!" Lance shrugs. Keith stares at him.

 

"Mm. Well, uh, I don't know what exactly you want to know? But, in all honesty you probably could've just brought home a soda or something for me and I would've thanked you. It's not that deep." 

 

"Yeah, but that seems empty? I dunno, I feel like you wouldn't be thanking me, you'd just be grateful?"

 

"That's the same thing. Thanking someone is showing your gratitude." Keith explains, and Lance scrunches his face up.

 

"Well, I know that. I just use it as more of a like, I'm glad you thought of me, and I'll remember this for a while sort of thing." Lance tells him, looking his way. Keith taps at his jaw for a second before talking again.

 

"If that's how you want me to use it, then thank you." Keith says blankly.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"You said you wanted me to thank you, and you told me your definition of thanking someone was being happy they thought about you, so I said thank you."

 

"No, I mean- I don't understand." Lance blurts, watching Keith sigh in exasperation.

 

"In a nutshell, thank you for thinking of what nice thing you could do for me, and for just generally being mindful."

 

"Oh."

 

"So, there. We're even." Keith tells him, and walks off. Lance feels oddly out of himself for a moment, before he's back and internally screaming. Lance is actually externally screaming a little bit too, but he can't tell through the cushions of the couch. Lance swings himself up and off the couch, running upstairs to his room.

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

fucK!!!! H UNK!!!!!!!!

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

What :o

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I GOT KEITH TO THANK ME!!

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Is that a sexual innuendo because you of all people know I am not here for that sort of thing

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

no??? why does everyone think I'm talking about something sexual whenever I bring up Keith??

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Cough ;)

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Aggressive coughing ;3

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

GO DDAM n IT TELL ME

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeepers I'm having a real Time™ 
> 
> also I know I've been updating like crazy but that's bc its the weekend and i have nothing to do so there will def be less updates in the week I'm so sorry
> 
> ik y'all are sick of hearing this but like if u got art to show me or u just wanna talk my tumblr is butyoudontevenknow and my instagram is Fight_Me_2000 (shut up its good)


	8. Chapter 8

Lance stares at Keith from across the shop. Keith hasn't said a word to Lance since Saturday, after he had thanked Lance. Which, okay, that's cool. Except it's NOT, because hey, it's been 2 DAYS, and Lance feels oddly thrown off by it. Keith hadn't even yelled at him to get up for work. Lance had just been startled awake by the front door being shut. He wasn't late, luckily. Coran was just as enthusiastic as usual, however.

 

"Lance. I was asking you if you wanted to help with this...Shiro's tattoo. He asked if you could." Coran asks, looking down at the scheduled appointment.

 

"Oh, yes, yeah. Of course. Sorry."

 

"Mm. Would you tell Matt it's his turn to clean today?"  Coran says absentmindedly, pulling out today's work, and writing up notes. Lance nods, jumping off his chair and walking over. Matt, of course, isn't there.

 

"Yo, Keith. Where's Matt?" Lance asks, and Keith looks over at him.

 

"He forgot his phone in his car, what do you need him for?" Keith answers and Lance grins. Jesus, finally he speaks.

 

"Coran said it's his turn to clean today?" Lance says, leaning against the wall behind him. 

 

"That's understandable." Keith shrugs. 

 

"Hey, uh, why didn't you talk to me yesterday?"

 

"You slept until 2, Lance." Keith argues. Lance nods, "But I did eventually get up!"

 

"Yeah, you got up, ate breakfast, and watched like 7 movies in a row, before going back to bed at 10." Keith snorts.

 

"So?"

 

"So, I figured I wouldn't interrupt your movie marathon?" Keith pulls a leg up on his lap. _God_.

 

"Oh. You weren't like, trying to avoid me or something?"

 

"No? Why would you think that?"

 

"I don't know. Shit never really works out for me? I thought maybe you finally figured out I was a piece of garbage and you know, acted accordingly." Lance shrugs, crossing his arms.

 

"Lance, you're not a piece of garbage. And even if you were, avoiding the problem wouldn't be my course of action."

 

"Was that a compliment?" Lance says smugly and Keith's face changes to one of mild disdain, "Just leave." 

 

Lance does exactly that, winking and fake shooting Keith with finger guns. Keith scoffs, standing up and opening the blinds to the window. Lance notes how nice it is outside. That'll change. It's just barely getting out of winter. God, winter went by fast. Everything's fast to Lance nowadays, it's like one minute he's in class, and the next he's an apprentice. Or, one minute he greatly dislikes his fellow apprentice, and the next, he's pretty good friends with him. Jesus, at this rate he's gonna wake up tomorrow and be married to some random person. Shit's too fast.

 

Maybe it's like that for everyone? Maybe it's faster for Lance because he wants to see it that way. It's been a week since he got here, but damn is he already attached to everyone. That's too fast though, right? God, he's confused now. Shit. Everything's moving too fast, and he's not prepared for half the shit he's going to get thrown at him, he knows it. He's going to lose his apprenticeship somehow, Keith will somehow end up taking his spot because Keith is definitely better than Lance at everything, and he knows everyone will just end up ignoring him, and pretending he was never their friend, because he's failed and they can't have that around them, they can't have him, Lance, a huge ass failure around--

 

"Lance." Keith jogs over. Lance manages a grin. 

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Does- are you alright?" Keith inquires, looking at him. Lance smiles, "No. What did you want?"

 

"Well, fuck, I can't remember now. What's wrong?" Keith asks with the smallest hint of actual worry in his voice, and Lance is happier about that than he should be.

 

"I don't know, it's fine." Lance tells him. 

 

"Lance. Please." 

 

"I swear I'm fine."

 

"Goddamnit, at least tell me something." Keith sighs, putting a hand on his hip. Lance looks at him. He's obviously not going to leave or work until Lance tells him something.

 

"You deserve to work here like, a thousand times more than me."

 

"Wrong. You were accepted by the same standards I was, and there were two mentors, so naturally they each needed someone to mentor, they can't both teach the same student. If anything, I shouldn't be here. Pretty sure Coran just felt I didn't have any friends." Keith explains plainly, as if this was fact.

 

"Did you? Have friends?"

 

"No. He was correct in that sense." Keith shrugs, unfazed.

 

"Sorry." Lance mutters.

 

"It's fine. I've got a pretty good amount nowadays, I'd say." Keith smiles. Lance laughs.

 

"Went from 0 to 100 real quick, I'm sure." Lance hums. Keith grins, nodding. 

 

"Anyway, Matt told me to tell Coran that he's my mentor for today? In my opinion, I think Matt just doesn't want to work as much today." Keith states. Lance looks over at him.

 

"Oh my god, we should totally switch mentors for a day."

 

"Not today. Matt is definitely tired as shit." Keith sighs, placing a hand on top of his head. Lance looks at the various tattoos on his arm. He's got a nice little viney flower halfway peeking out from his shirt sleeve, a little accent filler of silver and white sparkles along with a few tiny cartoon stars next to the black diamond surrounding his elbow and then he's got some weird wraparound snake tattoo that reaches from a few inches below his elbow to just above his wrist. Typical tattoo choice, everyone wants a damn snake, or maybe a spider. Jesus.

 

"I do regret the snake." Keith says. Lance realizes he had said that last part out loud.

 

"Sorry. That was a little uncalled for." Lance apologizes. Keith scoffs.

 

"It's true though. Pretty typical choice. I think I figured that out after I got it."

 

"You can be mean about my tattoo if you want?" Lance tells him. Keith laughs.

 

"It's too good of a tattoo for there to be anything wrong with it. However, I do want to know why you got it?" Keith inquires, pulling his hands behind his back.

 

"Ha! I lost a bet, actually. Although, in all honesty, I was planning to get one relatively soon anyway."

 

"Was it a bet with Hunk?"

 

"Shit, how'd you know?" Lance grins. 

 

"Hunk bets the biggest shit." Keith laughs.

 

"Yeah he does. Speaking of bets with Hunk, you should tell me what you guys have a bet on." 

 

"We made a bet on how long it would take you to ask Hunk about the bet. I won."

 

"Damn, I thought Hunk was lying. What'd you win?" Lance sings.

 

"He gave me embarassing photos of you for blackmail." Keith grins, and Lance punches him in the arm.

 

"Pssh, all photos of me are embarassing, I'm not fazed. What'd you _actually_ win?" 

 

"I won 50 bucks." Keith shrugs. Mediocre winnings.

 

"Lance!" Coran calls for him. Lance jogs over and Keith catches up a few seconds later. 

 

"I need you to run the front desk for a minute while I'm doing this consultation." Coran tells him. 

 

"Aight. By the way, I'm working with Keith today because Matt is a lazy ass hoe!" Lance yells, as Coran walks away.

 

"That I am!" Matt yells from across the shop. Keith smiles, covering his mouth with his hand. 

 

\----

 

From: Pigeon Gum

goddamn u bitch hurry ur ass up

 

To: Pigeon Gum

I did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment?

 

From: Pigeon Gum

oh yes u have and u will

 

To: Pigeon Gum

what did I do and what WILL I do that deserves such treatment??

 

From: Pigeon Gum

coughs 

 

To: Pigeon Gum

OH SHUT YOUR FUCK!

 

From: Pigeon Gum

ive got money on this plz i swear 2 god i have major bucks in the makin

 

To: Pigeon Gum

you have money on what?? maybe if you tell me I could help????

 

From: Pigeon Gum

no itd skew the results but just u kno

 

From: Pigeon Gum

h u r r y u p

 

To: Pigeon Gum

fuck off.

 

Lance taps his pencil against the desk, vaguely registering Keith looking at his phone. Maybe Keith knows what the fuck Hunk and Pidge are betting on. Maybe Keith has something to do with it even.

 

"Keith, do you know any bets going on in the group right now? Like big ones?" 

 

"No, but Shiro texted me and told me to tell you not to listen to Pidge just now."

 

"Holy fuck, Shiro's involved in this too?" Lance blurts. Keith shrugs.

 

"Whatever it is you're referring to, I'd say yes." Keith responds, turning off his phone, and starting to doodle some random design on a piece of paper.

 

"What kind of conspiracy... You aren't lying right? You're sure you don't know anything?" Lance says quietly, as if Pidge has cameras and microphones everywhere. Keith shakes his head, "No, asshat, I don't know anything."

 

"Keith, I think they're all betting on me."

 

"What would they even bet on?" Keith asks, setting his pencil down and leaning on his hand. _God_.

 

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe how long it'll take me to drop out of this apprenticeship?"

 

"You wouldn't drop out. That's fucking stupid."

 

"Yeah, I know, but do _they_?" Lance says, hushed, looking around.

 

"Stop, you look like a conspiracy theorist." Keith cringes. Lance laughs. An older man approaches the desk, and Keith greets him. Lance tunes out.

 

What could Pidge want quickly, Shiro want slowly, and Hunk be indifferent to? That sounds like a shitty third grade riddle. Maybe it's a bet on how long until Lance gets a second tattoo? But that seems far-fetched, he doesn't know why they'd bet on him getting another tattoo.

 

Jesus, his friends are assholes. Maybe it's a bet on whether or not Lance will get another piercing? No, that's just like the tattoo option. Cutting his hair? No. Getting glasses? No. Running away to France? No. Maybe they're betting he'll walk outside and randomly meet John Cena, because at this point, Lance has _no_ idea what they're thinking. Last time they made a bet specifically on Lance, it was on whether or not he'd ever actually kiss his girlfriend at the time. The answer, no, he wouldn't. She broke up with him, and he quickly got over it. He did kiss the boyfriend he had next, though. But only once. And then his boyfriend broke up with him. He's never been good with relationships, really. It's probably because he wanted more out of them. 

 

It could've also possibly been because none of them understood why he wanted to be a tattoo artist, and even _disliked_ his career choice once or twice. Now that he thinks about it, none of them ever really wanted to talk about him or what he wanted to do. Lance awkwardly realizes he was never quite paid attention to in these things. Sad, really. Maybe it was because he was too focused on getting to where he is now? No, it was probably because he never wanted to be paid attention. He wanted to be in the background, and have someone else back there with him and they could quietly pay each other attention. 

 

Eh, who cares. He's where he wants to be, hasn't met anyone interested in him, and he hasn't had anything particularly romantic happen to him in the last couple months, and he doubts he'd want to do anything right now. He's content with what he's got. _Mostly_. Anyway, what was the bet about, he can't even remember his train of thought--

 

"Have a nice day." Keith says, sitting back down as the man leaves.

 

"What'd he want?"

 

"Back tattoo. Real masculine man. Lots of guns and skulls." Keith shrugs.

 

"Actually, I think you're the only other guy I've seen with a flower tattoo, congratulations Lance." Keith adds, clapping quietly. Lance raises his hands in acceptance.

 

"You can thank Hunk for that. I, personally, would've picked the guns and skulls."

 

"I doubt that."

 

"Yeah, you're right. Hunk knew me better than I would've known myself." Lance grins. Keith sighs, smiling. 

 

Lance checks his phone again.

 

From: Shit oh

Hey, Lance, whatever Pidge said, ignore it.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

no dont ignore it plz

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

You guys are huge cheaters :/

 

From: Shit oh

Allura also says to ignore Pidge, for your information.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

u cant pull the my girlfriends ur boss card unfair

 

From: Shit oh

She isn't my girlfriend.

 

To: Group msg

WhAT H TE FUCK DO Y OU MEAN bY ALL THIS??? NOW ALLUR a IS InvolVED??

 

From: Shit oh

Nothing, Lance.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

coughs 

 

From: Keith

I'm also out of the loop here?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Coughs aggressively >:3c

 

Lance vows to physically maim Hunk. And then heal him, because whether or not Hunk made some bet on Lance, he always has Lance's best interests at heart. Fuck Hunk for being so caring and understanding. It makes it impossible to hate him. What an angel. Keith makes a clicking sound, and looks over at Lance.

 

"If Allura is involved wouldn't it have something to do with the shop itself?"

 

"No, I think it's more of a personal bet, since it seems targeted at me. But why would Allura bet on me?"

 

"Who knows." Keith shrugs.

 

"I know I don't." Lance answers.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Lance has, officially, lost all focus. It's 3 am, and here he is, looking up 'what are my friends betting I'll do' on Yahoo goddamn answers because maybe someone somewhere is in the exact same predicament as him. There's nothing.

 

Lance turns off his phone, plugging it into the charger. He'll put it down for about 5 minutes, before picking it up again in boredom because god, he can't sleep. At this rate, he's going to get to work, half asleep, awkwardly pointing out everything he finds interesting. Keith would have a field day with that. Fuck you, Keith.

 

On another note, Shiro has a consultation later, and Lance could probably pry the truth out of Shiro. Shiro's too honest to keep something from him this long, probably. He seems like he'd be bad at keeping secrets. Lance has never told him a secret, though, so he can't say he's bad for sure. Lance picks up his phone.

 

To: Shit oh

I have to talk to you later.

 

To: Shit oh

and not about your tattoo.

 

Shiro, always a responsible sleeper, doesn't respond. Lance opens the group chat, staring at the recent texts, now completely unrelated to the bet, and wonders whether interrupting the flow of the group's conversation is the best thing. It's 3 am, and literally no one else is on. No one gives a shit about the flow, probably.

 

To: Group msg

okay though it's been like 3 days, please tell me what the goddamn bet is about I'm dying.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Go to bed lance I swear to god 

 

To: Group msg

whoa hey Hunk what are you doing up???

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I could ask the same thing now sleep you jerk

 

Lance begrudingly obeys, setting his phone down and closing his eyes.

 

Of course, the few hours he has to sleep pass like seconds, because it seems like he just blinked and it was time to go. It also feels like he's gotten no sleep at all. 

 

Keith walks into his doorway, probably getting ready to wake him up, but he's already up and putting a jacket on.

 

"Do you have an umbrella?" Keith asks, ignoring the fact Lance got up without telling.

 

"Nah. Why? Is it raining?" Lance yawns, stretching out his arm.

 

"Yeah, actually. Pretty damn hard. There's probably a flood warning."

 

"Shit."

 

"Shit, indeed. Hurry up." Keith tells him, slapping his door before jogging off down the stairs. Lance coughs, "You're not leaving without me?"

 

"Just hurry your ass up." Keith yells, and when Lance gets downstairs, he can hear the rain hitting the house loud and clear. It's an oddly charming sound, but given the volume, it's probably less charming to be standing in. And when Lance gets outside, that proves correct. He's practically soaked in the, what, 10 seconds it takes him to sprint to his car.

 

God, even his car seat is wet. What the fuck. Gross. He lazily starts his car, pulling out and leaving the driveway. By the time he gets to the shop, he's already shivering from the cold, and he's internally dreading having to walk in it again. He watches Keith just, calmly -and, sort of slowly, given the circumstances- walk into the shop, as if the rain hasn't just soaked through all three of his layers. Goddamnit, Keith, your ass makes it look easy.

 

Lance gets out of his car, proceeds to drop his keys, picks them up, and locks his car before jogging inside. Again, soaked. Lance debates whether or not he'll need to shower if he just walks outside one more time.

 

"Ah, Lance! Would you like a towel?" Coran asks, a towel wrapped around his own head, and Lance laughs, grabbing one, "Sure."

 

"Do you think these'll dry?" Lance pulls his t-shirt off of him a bit, and it makes a weird peeling sound. Coran chuckles.

 

"Unfortunately not my friend. But I do have a lot of aprons if you'd like to try and use one of those." 

 

"Yeah, hit me up with one." Lance hangs his jacket up, watching it drip on the floor. Coran tosses him an apron. Lance puts it on over his t-shirt because he's not terribly keen on being shirtless for the few hours it'll take to dry his shirt. 

 

Keith appears to have a differing opinion. He's pulled off his shirt, and acquired one of Coran's aprons. He grins, running off to the bathroom. Lance can't make out details in the several other tattoos he's got. God. 

 

Coran clears his throat. Lance chokes on air, and realizes he's been staring at the bathroom door for longer than necessary.

 

"Sorry, what'd- what?" Lance shoves the towel over most of his face, drying it off.

 

"I asked if you'd clean up today. You might not even need mop water, at this rate, just walk outside!" Coran laughs, patting Lance's shoulder. Lance grins, laying his towel over his head like a hoodie. 

 

"Do you want to split the cleaning duties, because I've got nothing else to do while Matt tattoos this chick." Keith inquires, and Lance jumps, not realizing Keith had walked over. He's tied up the apron into some makeshift halter top and Lance wants to punch Keith in the face. Why? Why is he thinking this? Keith has done _nothing_ wrong, jesus. What the fuck, Lance.

 

"Shit- I'm- yeah. Sure, yeah."

 

"Mm." Keith hums, standing there for a minute.

 

"Okay, well, I'll be- I'll be cleaning." Keith blurts, and jogs off and out of sight. Lance slowly lies down on the floor. What the fuck, Lance? What are you doing today? It's the lack of sleep. Definitely the lack of sleep. He's 100% sure that's why he can't focus. 90%.

 

"Lance, that's _not_ cleaning." Coran yells, across the room. Lance shoots up off the ground.

 

"Sorry! Shit." Lance answers. He runs off toward the piercing room, grabbing cleaning supplies and gloves. You know, typical cleaning stuff. Matt spots Lance a few seconds later, and laughs.

 

"You look like a suburban soccer mom on spring cleaning day."

 

"At least I don't look like you." 

 

"Shit, Lance. That's better than I could've done." Keith scoffs, cleaning off the front windows. Lance bows in acceptance.

 

"Thank you, Keith. I do my best."

 

"Anytime." Keith laughs. Lance advances toward the bathrooms. He tackles the task of the bathrooms in under 20 minutes. A new record, according to Coran. Keith is staring at him, and Lance feels that odd intimidation again, the same feeling that made him want to insult Keith when he first met him. Lance's phone buzzes.

 

"Uh, Coran, do you mind if I check my phone really quick?" Lance asks, and Coran shakes his head. Lance smiles, unlocking his phone.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

fuck this its been five days 

 

From: Shit oh

Exactly. It's been 5 days.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

do u want to go u moldy grape

 

From: Shit oh

Oh, please. We both know who would win.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Pidge would :/

 

From: Pigeon Gum 

i would bitch

 

From: Shit oh

This took a turn. But, I mean, how would you win? You're so tiny.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

my tiny body holds no limits u grainy fire alarm

 

To: Group msg

you've activated Pidge's offensive capabilities, in the form of confusing insults.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Says Lance who could probably be an insult himself >:V

 

From: Pigeon Gum

oh come on hunk dont be such a lance 2 lance

 

To: Group msg

I'm pretty sure we could use anyone's name in this chat as an insult.

 

From: Shit oh

What a Pidge.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

God you're such a keith D:<

 

From: Pigeon Gum

what a hunk

 

To: Group msg

so it works for everyone but Hunk.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

thats understandable bc who would want 2 make this pure and wonderous boy into an insult

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Aww –u–

 

Lance turns his phone off, and sighs. His shirt's gotten warm as well as wet, so now it's extra uncomfortable. Maybe he should wring it out or something. That'd be reasonable. He ends up forgetting what he's thinking about when he starts organizing the piercing room.  

 

Lance is halfway done with cleaning out and organizing it, before Keith walks up, tapping on the frame of the door to catch Lance's attention. Lance sighs, waiting a second, because he's sure he's going to lose focus if he looks away from what he's doing. Or, something like that. 

 

"Shiro's here. I know you had a deal with him about his tattoo or something." Keith says, oddly irritated. 

 

"Thanks, I--" Lance stops himself for a few reasons. One, Keith's walking away. Two, he didn't actually know what he was going to say. And three, Keith has a goddamn tramp stamp, and it's not even a bad one. _Fuck, no, wait._ Stop. Lance quickly shoots Pidge a message about it, and then proceeds to head toward the front desk, absentmindedly, because, oh my god Keith has a tramp stamp and _what the fuck_ , does Keith know he has one or is--

 

"Lance! How are you?" Shiro smiles. Lance shrugs.

 

"Mediocre. It's been weird today." 

 

"How so?" Shiro inquires.

 

"Mm, I don't know, you're here an hour early for your appointment?" Lance chuckles and Shiro looks at him in confusion.

 

"You did say you wanted to talk about something other than my tattoo, so I figured I'd come over early and talk with you. Coran here agreed to let you have said time off to talk."

 

"Oh, uh... I'd offer to walk around the block with you or something, but it's still raining. So, I guess you can come sit by the staff room with me?" Lance mutters, clasping his hands together, and starting to walk towards the staff room. Shiro follows, and his face looks extremely deep in thought when Lance points out the staff room. 

 

"This... it's a supply closet?"

 

"No, it's the staff room. Listen Shiro, it's either _this_ or the bathrooms." Lance argues, and Shiro automatically changes his attitude, accepting the small supply closet as his resting place for the moment.

 

"What'd you want to talk about?" Shiro asks, leaning against the wall.

 

"Whatever this bet is about!"

 

"Oh my god, Lance, I can't divulge that! I'd skew the results and Pidge would kill me. They think they have this shit in the bag. They don't." Shiro says, staring off into space with an evil look. Lance would be afraid if he wasn't trying to get important information out of Shiro.

 

"Please, I'm just- it's really stressing me out. I didn't sleep until almost 4 this morning because of it, and because of it I keep not being able to focus and oh my god, Keith is definitely not--" Lance's begging is interrupted with Shiro sighing impossibly loud.

 

"Lance, it's not a bad bet. I can assure you we're not all betting on whether you'll get fired or something, because you won't. You're wonderful at this job, and you've worked hard to get here."

 

"Goddamnit, Shiro. Quit being responsible and good with secrets. Be a filthy popular 12 year old with juicy gossip." Lance flails his hands around, trying to convey his stress. Shiro laughs.

 

"Tell you what, you pay me exactly what I would win, if I was to win said bet, and I'll tell you." Shiro bargains. Lance thinks it over, recalling past bet pool winnings. Once, Hunk bet $200. Was it worth it? Was Lance willing to pay massive amounts of money to be rid of this nagging curiosity?

 

"How much would that be?"

 

"$80."

 

"I will pay back whatever you put into the bet."

 

"I bet $20." Shiro crosses his arms, grinning.

 

"I'll pay you $20." Lance responds instantaneously.

 

"Lance, goddamnit, no. I can't betray everyone's bets like this." 

 

"Okay, ask Allura what she thinks and if she says to tell me, you have to." Lance tells him. Shiro takes a deep breath, shrugging. He pulls out his phone and sends Allura a text.

 

"Now we wait." Shiro says, his face neutral, because this is truly a neutral situation. They wait 7 minutes, filling that time with small talk and odd discussions. Shiro opens the message, while Lance can also see it, so Lance knows he's not cheating. 

 

From: Allura.

You want my opinion? I'd say tell him, but I mean, leave out the details where possible.

 

Lance watches Shiro turn off his phone and sigh.

 

"So, leaving out as many details as I can without you losing the gist of it, we're betting on how long it takes you to start dating someone again." Shiro says, calmly, after a few seconds of thought.

 

"What? Why- that makes no sense? You guys made it seem like it was a current thing? Jesus, why didn't you just tell me? I can live with that bet."

 

"It is a current thing." Shiro states. Lance stares at him.

 

"How is it a current thing? I might--"

 

"It's all in the details, Lance."

 

"Yeah, you guys are betting on when, in the near future, I'll date someone? That's- it... you're betting I'll date someone from the shop?" Lance inquires, and Shiro shrugs.

 

"Can't give you details."

 

"Fuck, okay, just.. give me three questions." Lance begs. Shiro begrudgingly nods.

 

"Is it someone you've all met?"

 

Shiro nods.

 

"Uh, is it someone from the shop?" 

 

Again, he nods, a little nervously. Lance considers asking if it's Allura, but Shiro seems highly invested in Allura so there's no way he'd bet on Lance dating Allura. There's Matt, but Shiro's really only seen Matt in passing, and Pidge is also in on this bet, and they definitely wouldn't bet on- Shit. It's Keith, isn't it. Fuck.

 

"Is... it's not Keith is it? Is it Keith?" Lance mutters, and Shiro places his head in his hands, and slowly nods.

 

"You- shit- I'm- No! Are you guys _seriously_ betting on whether or not I'll date Keith? Jesus- I'm not even- god!" Lance says, in a sort of whisper scream. A hushed yell? How would you classify this.

 

"I can't answer that question, you're out of questions, and oh would you look at the time, I'd best go see Coran about this tattoo!" Shiro laughs, practically sprinting out of the room.

 

Lance is frantically searching for good points to make against this bet, and the only thing he can come up with is, don't meddle with other people's lives. What the fuck, Lance. Why can't you make a good point, like, you hate Keith or something? Sure, Keith is actually pretty nice, and really good at being a friend and would probably really nice to kiss, and he's not- he just- Keith's just a friend, _goddamnit_ Lance. Stop thinking about whether or not Keith's tongue piercing could get caught in yours, good god, it's just platonic, jesus.

 

Lance fights his own thoughts for a solid 3 minutes before he realizes it sounds vaguely like a stereotypical Straight Boy™ attempting to convince himself he's not having gay feelings. Lance's thoughts are basically telling him 'no homo, bro, I swear making out behind the bleachers is totally straight, cause we're best brodudes'. 

 

Lance wishes the 'no homo' part of whatever internal battle this is would win. Then he could just be clueless again, if only for a while longer.

 

As much as Lance wishes he didn't, Lance most definitely likes Keith.

 

\----

 

"Are you ignoring me?" Keith asks, annoyed, in the doorway of the staff room. Where Lance has laid on the floor, for 3 hours, undisturbed. And the first person to disturb him is Keith. He's not wearing his apron crop top, and is in his now dry shirt, which is both a relief and disappointing at the same time. God. Fucking Keith.

 

"No." Lance squeaks.

 

"I don't think you've looked me in the eyes since after Coran gave you that stupid ass bathroom cleaning record." Keith tells him. Lance looks over at him.

 

"Sorry. I just didn't sleep well and today got weird, and I probably won't sleep well again tonight."

 

"Mm. Sorry. I don't think there's much I could do to help you there." Keith sits on the floor next to Lance. Lance turns to look at the ceiling, desperately avoiding looking at Keith's face again. 

 

"Oh god, please do not- don't say anything even remotely nice to me right now." Lance groans, dragging his hands over his face.

 

"Why? Is something wrong?" Keith hums, tapping his fingers on his leg. Lance nearly chokes on air.

 

"No, fuck- it's- I need a nap." Lance sighs.

 

"Well, I'm fairly certain that if we both ask very nicely, Coran will give us the rest of the day off. Coran looks tired himself, and I'm sure he'd love to leave."

 

"I can't believe this. I don't want to move, never mind ask Coran for the rest of the day off."

 

"Quit whining, shithead."

 

"Mmneh." Lance begrudingly stands up.

 

"What kind of fucking noise was that?" Keith laughs.

 

"Shut up. Let's go see if Coran's got anything against us leaving." Lance holds out his hand, and Keith grabs it, pulling himself up. 

 

Turns out, Coran was just about to ask if they wanted to call it a day. They both leave, running to their cars for shelter in the somewhat dulled down rain. Still pretty heavy, however. Lance picks up his phone, checking it before he starts driving off, because fucking Keith would kill him if he checked it while he was driving.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

i feel a disturbance

 

From: Shit oh

What disturbance? I feel nothing. It's a cold day, maybe that's what you're feeling?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Shiro what did you do??????

 

From: Shit oh

Nothing, I did nothing.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Somehow I doubt that :///

 

To: Group msg

hey guys. maybe shut. the mouths.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

shiro what have u  d o n e

 

To: Group msg

whoa, hey, don't blame Shiro I was just telling you guys to cool your jets.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

hows keith 

 

From: Pigeon Gum

is he good 

 

To: Group msg

fuck off, you egg.

 

Lance turns off his phone tossing it on his passenger seat, and driving out of the parking lot, heading towards the house. He's there in under 6 minutes, as per usual. Keith isn't home, though. Which is odd. He jogs up to the front door, unlocking it and walking inside. He walks up to his room, tearing his jacket off and kicking his shoes into the corner. He falls back onto the bed, taking a deep breath. He opens his phone.

 

To: Keith

where you at??

 

From: Keith 

I'm at the grocery store, why?

 

To: Keith

ah, I was just wondering why you weren't home.

 

From: Keith

I'll be back, don't worry.

 

To: Keith

I won't, asshat.

 

From: Keith

Sure.

 


	10. Chapter 10

"Lance, you fuck, get up. I don't give a _shit_ if it's Saturday, sleeping in until 3 is not an option." Keith yells from downstairs. He barely hears Lance grunt in response, before also hearing him fall on the floor. He'd love to see that.

 

"Keith, next time, please consider that maybe I -an irresponsible adult- stayed up awfully late, being gross and thinking about things." Lance yawns, walking in the kitchen.

 

"I don't want to hear about what you do late at night. Jesus." Keith scoffs, looking over Lance. He's obviously tired, and probably didn't sleep well, given the odd way his hair sticks almost straight up. It's sort of cute, honestly.

 

"Mostly think about you." Lance winks, and Keith fake gags, "Disgusting."

 

"Honestly though, Keith, I can't believe you have _such_ a dirty mind, oh my god. I wonder what YOU think about at night." Lance sings, sitting down on the couch.

 

"Choking you to death."

 

" _Kinky_."

 

"Fuck off." Keith says, half laughing. Lance shrugs, turning on the TV. There's a good two minutes of peaceful silence in the house before Lance speaks.

 

"Do you think I should invite Hunk and Pidge over?" Lance asks, scooting over the armrest and looking over at Keith, upside down. Keith sighs.

 

"You can pick one of the two. Not that I hate both of them."

 

"Mm. So, Hunk then?" Lance hums, holding and typing on the phone in front of his face, still upside down.

 

"Why are you assuming I wouldn't pick Pidge? Pidge is delightful, and has--"

 

"I'm picking more for my benefit, really. Pidge recently acquired... _information_. I'm sure they'd have a wonderful time rubbing it in my face, if given the chance. Besides, you just told ME to pick, and now you're telling me you wanted to pick Pidge?" Lance asks, sitting up and just looking over the back of the couch, resting his head on his hands.

 

"No, I still want you to pick. I was just being an ass."

 

"Aw! Keith! You just admitted you have an ass!"

 

"I admitted that I am an ass sometimes, yes. What I did NOT admit, was that I have an ass. Which I do, but that's besides the point."

 

"Wait- I- what'd I say?" Lance stutters, covering half of his mouth with his hand, face tinting with the smallest amount of red. Again, _cute_.

 

"You said, and I quote, 'You just admitted you have an ass!', and from there I corrected you, and also didn't correct you." Keith walks over, talking to Lance as if he was teaching him geology or something.

 

"Well, it's definitely a--" Lance's phone interrupts him, as his preset factory ringtone blasts out of his phone's speakers. It's Hunk. Lance answers it, and warns Hunk not to say anything stupid because he's on speakerphone and Keith is also listening. Hunk laughs.

 

Keith takes a second to think that over, because there's pretty much nothing Hunk could say that would surprise Keith. Or, he doubts there is. And IF there is, why would Lance know what it was and not tell him? Eh, Keith'll bring it up another time. Lance would tell him eventually though, even if he doesn't ask, hopefully. Hopefully being the key word there.

 

"Anyway, I called to see if you guys want anything from Wendy's. Shiro took Pidge, Allura, and I to Wendy's to discuss... various things, and I haven't left yet." Hunk explains.

 

"Wait, Allura took time off to discuss the fucking bet with you guys?" Lance blurts. There's a moment of odd silence.

 

"Oh, sorry, I was nodding. Yeah, she took an hour off. She's invested in this." Hunk tells him.

 

"Jesus, I don't even know what to say to you right now, Hunk. This is some real shit. But, uh, just get me a soda or something? Keith?" Lance looks over at Keith. Keith shakes his head. He doesn't really need or want anything from Wendy's at the moment. Lance informs Hunk of this.

 

"Alright, cool. Before I hang up though, on behalf of the bet I have placed, I must warn you that Allura is a dirty player, and she's got some freaky good tricks coming your way." Hunk says, sounding somewhat impressed. Keith feels oddly out of the loop, but he enjoys the conversation nonetheless.

 

"Goddamnit, Hunk. Now I'm gonna be paranoid that everything's set up by Allura." Lance sighs, saying goodbye and hanging up.

 

"The bet?" Keith asks, leaning against the back of the couch. Lance coughs, and accidentally drops his phone.

 

"It's- there's... a bet, yes. And you know about it." Lance clears his throat, leaning against the side of the couch awkwardly.

 

" _And_? Did you ever figure out what everyone was betting on?" Keith tilting over the back of the couch to look at Lance again. Lance pushes Keith's face away from him.

 

"That's a negative, my friend. No info on that." Lance stands up, walking out of the room. Keith stands there, going over the conversation Hunk and Lance just had, and Keith is most definitely missing something. Definitely. Lance has to know more than he's letting on. Lance walks back in the room, dressed as if he's somewhat ready to be in public, hair mildly fixed. 

 

"You look terrible." Keith says, starting off towards his room.

 

"Thank you, this is always how I look." Lance grins, batting his eyelashes as if he was some fancy makeup model. Keith stops beside him.

 

"And you're _sure_ you don't know what the bet's about?" Keith asks, and he watches Lance take a quick breath and shake his head.

 

"Nope! I've got nothing. Nada. I have zero knowledge on this subject. Zilch." Lance laughs, putting his hands on his hips. Lance is pretty bad at lying. Or, at least, right now he is.

 

"Tell me when you do know, if you would." Keith tells him, patting his arm, and then walking to his room. He changes into different clothes, and puts on whatever jacket he can find. By the time he gets back upstairs, Hunk's here, and he's holding a conversation with Lance about hot sauce, for whatever reason.

 

"Hey, Keith!" Hunk claps, and smiles. Lance looks mildly embarrassed, holding his face in his hands, and shaking his head.

 

"Hey Hunk. What's going on?"

 

"Nothing much, I was asking Lance if he wanted to go anywhere, since he seemed ready to leave the house." Hunk shrugs, patting Lance on the shoulder.

 

"Just... long story short, we're going to a sort of party with Hunk, and Pidge." Lance huffs, crossing his arms and looking over at Keith. His face is red and he's either irritated or flustered. Hopefully the former. 

 

"Where, exactly, would this be?" Keith asks, and Hunk grins.

 

"That's a surprise. But it is about an hour drive, so we should leave now. That is, if you're up to going?" Hunk looks at both Keith and Lance. Keith shrugs, indicating he's indifferent. Hunk then looks at Lance.

 

" _Keith_ wants to go." Hunk says, oddly smug.

 

"Fuck off. I would've gone _anyway_." Lance says, punching Hunk in the arm. Keith laughs, and Lance sighs.

 

"Don't even get me started, you jerk." Lance looks over at Keith, pointing at him and fighting back a smile. Keith puts his hands up in a small surrender. Lance grabs his keys and walks out the door.

 

"I guess that means we're leaving." Hunk nods, walking out the door. Keith follows, locking the door behind him.

 

"Keith, do you just want to take one car again?" Lance asks, standing by Keith's car.

 

"Sure, if you think that's a good idea. I take it you want to use my car this time?"

 

"You mean Ben? Yes, we'll take Ben." He laughs, and Keith is tempted to kick him.

 

"Be aware that Ben's radio works only about 20% of the time." Keith argues, getting into said car.

 

"Well, Ben can just suck it the fuck up and work this time, because I don't know if I can handle listening to you being silent the entire trip." Lance argues, looking at his phone, and sighing. His face gets a little red again.

 

"Uh, Hunk says to follow him." Lance blurts, turning off his phone and shoving it in his pocket.

 

"Mm." Keith answers, watching Lance for a few seconds.

 

"What?" Lance mutters, looking over himself awkwardly.

 

"Nothing." Keith shakes his head, "Just don't stay on your phone the whole trip."

 

"Goddamnit, Keith, I'm not such a jerk that I would _completely_ ignore you the whole car ride, unlike _someone_." Lance tells him, as Hunk leaves the driveway, Keith following.

 

"Okay, shut up. I was talking to Pidge." Keith sighs. Lance scoffs.

 

"Oh yeah? About what?"

 

"Mostly about you." Keith answers, grinning. Lance chokes, coughing and holding onto his seatbelt like he would die if he let go.

 

"God- what the fuck? What did you say?"

 

"We actually mostly talked about what sort of tattoo Pidge wants, but you were in one of the conversations. Nothing much, just talking about how homeless you look half the time."

 

"It's my aesthetic. Grunge modern. It's totally a thing."

 

"I'm sure it is." Keith snorts, following Hunk into a right turn. Lance pulls out his phone, and leans away from Keith, making sure Keith can't see whatever he's doing. In all likeliness, he's texting Pidge about what Keith said. Keith is oddly aware that he's worried about what Pidge will tell him. Keith didn't say anything terribly bad, or terribly good for that matter, but he's still thinking about what the hell Lance would think about what he did say. Jesus, what DID Keith say? Now that he wants to remember it, he can't. Typical.

 

Keith settles for noting Lance's changes in facial expression every couple minutes. The only constant being the red on his cheeks. He looks disgusted a couple of times. He looks pretty happy a few times, as well, and Keith hopes that balances out whatever the fuck Lance is feeling. Lance seems to have a thought that surprises him, and he sets his phone down.

 

"Sorry, we're what, halfway there, and I've been on my phone." Lance says, clapping his hands together.

 

"It's fine, I've been having fun watching you react to whatever the fuck you were doing on your phone."

 

"I was texting Pidge for the most part." He mutters, and Keith nods in understanding. Lance stays silent for a minute.

 

"Do you think Ben will work?" Lance leans toward the car radio, looking over the buttons and panels. He turns it on, eventually. It buzzes with static for a second before it crackles into music.

 

"Hey! He _lives_!" Lance yells triumphantly. Keith smiles, looking at Lance, who is rapidly punching the air in victory.

 

"Keith, your car likes me." Lance tells him, jokingly serious.

 

"If you want to date my car, I won't object." Keith shrugs.

 

"Oh my god, you think I want to date Ben?"

 

"Hey, I'm not gonna judge you for who or _what_ you love, Lance. Just make sure you clean up any mess you make." Keith starts straining against his laughter halfway through.

 

"How would someone even fuck a car? Eugh, I don't want--"

 

"Lance, jesus. Take Ben on a date first." Keith says.

 

"Fuck off! I'm not gonna date your car." Lance argues, smiling and laughing. Keith's laughing as well, tapping at his steering wheel. It's nice. 

 

"You take what you can get, Lance. And I'm fairly certain, you haven't gotten ANYTHING for a while." Keith laughs. Lance punches him in the shoulder.

 

"I've been busy, asshat! And I can tell you right now that I'd never be desperate enough to fuck a car."

 

"Tell me that when you're dating someone." Keith looks over at Lance.

 

"Shut up." Lance mutters, smiling and crossing his arms,putting his feet up on the dashboard.

 

"Mm."

 

And Keith does shut up. Which leads to Lance eventually asking him why he's so quiet. Keith doesn't answer. Lance whines, asking him why he won't talk. Lance is so determined to figure out Keith isn't talking, and Keith finds it mildly endearing. Eventually, Lance gives up and just starts talking to himself. Keith ends up listening because some of it is interesting. 

 

"And, I mean, _sure_. You could say that dogs are the superior being in that situation, but what if you throw a can of soup in the mix? Throws the whole thing out of whack. Now the can of soup is superior. How about that. That's some _wild_ shit." Lance finishes one rant, looking over at Keith. Keith is mostly just enjoying listening to him go on completely unintelligible speeches about random subjects.

 

"You know I didn't mean it when I told you to shut up, right? Because it's been like, 20 minutes. We're gonna be there soon. You gotta talk to me at the party so I don't like, look lame. Talking to someone as cool looking as you would definitely earn me some sweet party cred. Not gonna lie." Lance inquires. Keith laughs.

 

"No, I know. I was just waiting for you to remember you told me to shut up."

 

" _I_ was waiting for _you_ to get tired of my weird monologues."

 

"They were entertaining." Keith tells him.

 

"Thanks, I've worked on them for a while."

 

"Mm. 

 

\----

 

Pidge finally finds Keith 20 minutes after Keith texts them.

 

"Keith, buddy. What sort of cryptic ass message were you trying to send." Pidge asks, resting a hand on Keith's shoulder.

 

"Jesus, fuck, I don't know. Do you know where Lance went?"

 

"Oho, look who needs Lance for once! What a twist." Pidge laughs evilly.

 

"What?"

 

"Ignore that. I think he went upstairs? I don't know, this isn't the kind of party you expect nerdy physics honor roll people to throw. This is a fucking rager, Keith. I'm impressed." 

 

"It's annoying, that's what it is." Keith sighs, and Pidge nods in agreement.

 

"It is annoying, but kudos to these guys. Anyway, I'm sure if you stay here, you'll eventually find Lance. The guy doesn't function too well around so many people, especially such _attractive_ people. Plus, if you stay here, I can bring him to you if he appears unto me." Pidge states, and Keith nods. Pidge pats Keith's shoulder and walks off toward the kitchen. Keith leans up against the dining room table, as there's practically nowhere to sit, and he's not very open to the idea of sitting on some stranger's lap. 

 

"Keith!" Hunk yells. Keith looks around the room, pinpointing Hunk walking toward him a minute later.

 

"You seen Lance?" Hunk asks. Keith shakes his head.

 

"Could ask you the same thing." Keith huffs. Hunk nods.

 

"I'll be right back." Hunk states, jogging off. Keith gives him a small wave. 

 

Hunk doesn't come back. Eventually, Keith is sitting in the middle of the dining table, staring at his phone, thinking about whether not Lance even has his phone. Enough people have tried to take Keith's.

 

To: Lance

Where the fuck did you go?

 

To: Lance

I swear to god.

 

From: Lance

Uh hey keith this is hunk 0u0;;

 

To: Lance

Okay, is there an explanation?

 

From: Lance

Well not a good one and I dont think lance wants me to tell you :/

 

To: Lance

Fine, okay. Where are you?

 

From: Lance

Upstairs 2nd room on the left –_–

 

Keith jumps off the table, scaring a few people nearby. He heads upstairs and down the hall, opening the door. Hunk's sitting next to Lance on one of the two beds in the room, and Pidge is sitting on the floor in front of both of them. It feels strangely like Keith walked into the wrong room.

 

"I'm just, going to sit?" Keith says, sitting on the second bed. Hunk shrugs.

 

"Anyway, uh, sorry." Lance mutters, finishing whatever conversation just went on, and looking awfully tired while doing so.

 

"No, it's good. It's fine. You haven't done anything wrong." Pidge tells him, and Keith feels bad that he wasn't involved in whatever this was. Lance looks over at Keith.

 

"Also, I'm sorry no one told you they found me? What kind of friends do we have, holy fuck." Lance laughs. Pidge scoffs.

 

"I'm going to kick your _ass_ , Lance." Pidge says, standing up. Keith watches Hunk ask Lance something he can't hear over the volume of everything else in this house. He does hear Lance respond with a very stern and purposeful yes. Keith stands up off the bed.

 

"Whatever happened to the soda you were going to get me?" Lance blurts, looking over at Hunk. Hunk groans.

 

"Ah, it's still in my car. There wasn't ice, so it might still be good?" 

 

"Nah, I'm good, just wondering what happened to it." Lance stands up on the bed, jumping off. Pidge opens the door of the room. Lance jogs out, followed by Hunk and Keith. Pidge catches up a minute later. Keith checks a few notifications from the group text.

 

From: Lance

I'm a huge meme >:3

 

From: Lance 

u guys all smell like beef

 

From: Shiro

I feel like someone took Lance's phone?

 

Keith watches Pidge tap Lance on the shoulder and hand him his phone.

 

To: Group msg

I can confirm this.

 

From: Lance

I will also confirm my phone was given willingly to hunk, who has apparently betrayed me, and was then taken hostage by Pidge who has claimed that you all smell like beef. this fact has not been proven.

 

From: Shiro

Are you guys at that stupid party?

 

From: Hunk

Yes indeedy :p

 

From: Shiro

Glad I'm not there then.

 

From: Lance

where are you instead?????

 

From: Shiro

None of your business.

 

From: Pidge

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

From: Shiro

Please, Allura is seeing these.

 

To: Group msg

Now we know you're with Allura at least.

 

From: Lance

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

From: Hunk

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

From: Pidge

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

To: Group msg

What the fuck.

 

From: Lance

goddamnit Keith, send one.

 

To: Group msg

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

From: Pidge

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

From: Lance

go lick a duck Pidge.

 

\----

 

"Hey, uh... so, earlier, at the party? Can I ask what happened with everyone?" Keith asks, changing into a different shirt. Lance sighs.

 

"I don't know, it was sort of me talking about the bet, in a way? Still don't know what that's about by the way."

 

"Well, are you alright?" Keith asks, turning around to look at him.

 

"Are you actually worried?" Lance mutters, turning on the TV.

 

"Why wouldn't I be? You're my friend."

 

"Yes, Keith. I'm fine. Really. If it comes up again, I'll be fine. It was a one time thing." Lance says and means it. Keith sighs.

 

"Alright. Good to know."

 

Lance looks back at Keith for a moment, an odd focused look on his face. It's attractive.

 

"Keith, have you ever dated a guy?" 

 

"Sure."

 

"Alright. Good to know." Lance says, copying Keith from a minute ago. He then goes back to watching TV. Keith wants to ask why that's good to know. How that would benefit anything in the future. Maybe Lance wants to blackmail him with it? He doesn't care. 

 

Keith walks over to sit next to Lance. Lance rests his head on his hand.

 

"Did you have something you wanted to watch?"

 

"No, I'm good."

 

"Thanks for worrying, by the way." Lance says, covering a good portion of his face. God, he likes him. 

 

"I'm always worried, shithead." Keith kicks him, and Lance smiles through his hand. He definitely likes him.

 

"Gross, Keith." Lance laughs.

 

"Fuck off." Keith mutters, pulling his phone out.

 

To: Pidge

You know how you said you had a list of people that came to you when they were interested in Lance?

 

To: Pidge

You can add me to that list.

 

From: Pidge

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

To: Pidge

Nevermind, I hate you.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, finally done with the school week: you know what I should do??? write a shit ton of my fic
> 
> ily guys stay classy


	11. Chapter 11

The odd thing about being aware you like someone is how, instead of noticing their best qualities or features, you avoid those features like the plague, thinking that looking at them or thinking about them somehow makes your feelings for them diminish. Lance is having a very difficult time with this. He's pretty sure he hasn't looked at any part of Keith for a day and a half. God, why was Keith attractive?

 

"Lance." Keith walks into the area, one hand on his hip, the other holding his phone. Lance quits fiddling with his shirt.

 

"Eeyeah?"

 

"Allura wants to talk with you." Keith tells him, pointing back towards the front desk.

 

"Does she look angry?" Lance stands up, pulling his shirt down. Keith's staring at him, quiet.

 

"Keith."

 

"No, she just looks normal, sorry. Anyway, you should probably talk to her?" Keith blurts, cocking his hip to the side. Lance looks up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath.

 

"Yes, right. Allura." Lance claps his hands together, grinning and walking to the front. Allura smiles genuinely, and leans against the front desk. Jesus, she looks happy. Practically glowing, what the fuck.

 

"Hey, Lance! Just had a few questions for you, do you want to step outside for a minute?" Allura asks, clasping her hands behind her. Lance nods, opening the front door. She steps out, and Lance follows.

 

"What'd you, uh, want to ask?" Lance mutters, awkward.

 

"Well first, can you see my bra through this shirt?"  She tugs at the mildly see-through lilac blouse she's wearing. Her bra is indeed visible, if only slightly.

 

"Yes? Yeah. Why?"

 

"No reason. Second, I've heard news about you maybe liking Keith, is that true?" Allura grins.

 

"Goddamnit, who the fuck is spreading this shit?"

 

"Answer the _question_ , Lance." Allura puts her hands on her hips.

 

"Well, I think... Fine, yes, it's true." Lance sighs, crossing his arms.

 

"Good. Is Keith aware of this?"

 

"Fuck no, I'd be kicked in the face before I could even say 'you'. Pretty sure." Lance answers.

 

"Fantastic. Don't tell him. For as long as you possibly can." Allura says, pointing at Lance menacingly.

 

"That is the exact _opposite_ of what everyone is telling me to do." Lance tells her. It's true. Everyone's been telling him to just tell Keith and he might have eventually done it, but now his boss' boss is asking him not to even TRY.

 

"Listen, Lance. This is for the bet. You'll know when it's best to tell him, because I'll tell you when that is."

 

"Yeah, but that seems unnatural? Like what if we're at like, Costco or something and he looks really nice and I just like, tell him? What happens if I tell him when I feel like it?"

 

"I don't want to tell you what to do. But, I'd like to win this bet. So, I will pay you twice what I bet, which is, $80. And secondly, why would you pick _Costco_ out of all of the places you could tell him?" Allura explains.

 

"I don't know, I like Costco. I like Keith. They go together, I don't know. Shut up. And you bet $40 on this?"

 

"Of course. Go big or go home. Now, you have to tell him before the end of next month, but after the 29th of this month. Yeah?"

 

"Uh, wait, so another week and a half, and then I have the ability to tell him with a month's deadline?" Lance clarifies, and Allura nods. 

 

"Yeah alright. It'll probably take me two weeks just to prepare to humiliate myself, so I think we're on schedule." Lance sighs, agreeing. 

 

"Perfect! Now if you'll excuse me I have other business to attend to." Allura smiles, opening the front door for him. He walks through and she waves to Coran before walking away.

 

"Oh, Lance. I fear Allura may have gotten herself into some trouble."

 

"What sort of trouble?" Lance asks, looking at the now shut front door, as though Allura would pop out, in trouble.

 

" _Romantic_ trouble, my good man." Coran clicks his tongue, shaking his head. Lance nods, walking away slowly. He heads back to the staff room, where, you know, he usually hangs out while Coran is busy. Except, for whatever reason, Keith is the one laying on the floor, one leg propped up on the wall, and the other on the floor. He's on his phone.

 

"Keith, what the fuck." Lance mutters and Keith looks back at him, grinning.

 

"Matt had to leave. Some family emergency. So Coran's my mentor for the day again, and I figured I'd see why you're always laying on the floor since I have nothing better to do. I will admit, your lazy ass does have taste in floors. This is pretty comfortable." Keith pats the floor, resting his phone on his chest.

 

"I'm not lazy, assface."

 

"Sure, shithead."

 

"Fucking bitch."

 

"Asshat."

 

"Anyway, scoot over, you stole the prime real estate." Lance kicks Keith's side. Keith scoffs, begrudgingly moving over about a foot. Lance lies down next to him, clapping.

 

" _Wonderful_."

 

"For you, maybe." Keith scoffs. Lance kicks his leg off the wall in protest. Keith laughs.

 

"Who've you been talking to all day?" Lance blurts, after a minute of silence.

 

"Now, _that's_ confidential." Keith says, pointing at him.

 

"Hey now, come on." Lance whines, and Keith grins, shaking his head.

 

"Rude. I just want to know about your wellbeing."

 

"You want to know so you can make some joke about it. That's more likely than you actually being worried about who I'm texting." Keith looks over.

 

"That's partially true. I would make a joke, but that does NOT mean I'm not worried about how you're doing? You're my friend, and you're worried about me half the time, so I should be -and _am_ \- doing the same." Lance explains, crossing his arms. Keith drags his hands over his face before setting them down at his sides again.

 

"Fine, fine. Just shut up, yeah?" Keith says, grinning ever so slightly. Half of Lance wants to just keep looking at Keith, because heaven help him, Keith is a gift from God; but, the other half is screaming at him not to do that because he'll somehow end up not liking Keith anymore. What kind of logic is that? 

 

It's like if you're buying a car and you know what car you want for a million different reasons besides the way it looks, and you look at it, and decide, hey this car sucks because I've looked at it. Would you really not buy the perfect car for you because of how good or bad it looks? Well, some people would, probably, but those people suck and probably have shit to compensate for.

 

His phone vibrates, and he digs it out, pulling up the group chat.

 

From: Shit oh

I may need help.

 

To: Group msg

with what??

 

From: Shit oh

Allura invited me to lunch?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Shiro and allura are dating its official uwu

 

From: Shit oh

Is that why she's asking me to lunch?

 

To: Group msg

shiro what the fuck.

 

From: Shit oh

What?

 

To: Group msg

for someone resembling a modern greek god, you have no clue what's been going on??? I'm absolutely sure you've been on dates before.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I agree with lance here how can you not know this :/

 

From: Shit oh

I don't know, maybe because I haven't been on a date in 3 years?

 

To: Group msg

ooooh my god, what the hell?? You, Mr. Model, haven't been on a date in 3 years????

 

From: Shit oh

No! I've been at school, and engineering isn't easy, so I mean... I've been asked out before, I've just never wanted to accept.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Well do you want to accept now :3c

 

From: Shit oh

Is this a date? Is she asking me out?

 

To: Group msg

jesus, Shiro, give me a minute.

 

Lance sighs, opening up a new message -and conversation- with Allura, who he's apparently never texted before.

 

To: Ay lure

did you just ask Shiro out to lunch? if yes, was it meant like a date?

 

From: Ay lure

Yes, and yes. He's been typing for the last 5 minutes.

 

Lance laughs, heading back to the group chat.

 

To: Group msg

that's an affirmative on the date. could've asked her yourself.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Plot twist :v

 

From: Shit oh

Oh.

 

From: Keith

Did you want to go?

 

To: Group msg

now Keith joins, in the midst of the drama.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

the only appropriate time 2 join

 

From: Shit oh

Okay, well, I'm going. It's a date.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

This is precious :')

 

To: Group msg

congrats my dude.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

speaking of dating 

 

Lance turns his phone off at that, placing it in his pocket. He's not about to get subtly called out on not dating Keith yet by Pidge. Keith is still on the group chat, laughing at whatever Pidge probably just said. It's cute. Lance smiles, looking at the ceiling. 

 

He doesn't recall falling asleep, but the next thing he knows, Keith's face is inches above his, telling him to wake up. Lance nearly punches Keith in the face. Keith laughs, standing up and stepping back a few inches. Lance jumps up off the ground, fairly certain his face is a nice shade of red.

 

"Now, that's cute." Keith tells him, walking away, and Lance just stands there in confusion. Lance jogs up to Keith a few seconds later. 

 

"What's cute?" Lance asks, fiddling with his hands.

 

"Your face when you're surprised." Keith answers, completely monotone, paying more attention to today's schedule rather than what he's saying.

 

"You're kidding, right." Lance taps the wood of the desk. Keith chuckles, "Sure, if you want me to be."

 

"You're a huge asshat, Keith." Lance says, putting his hands in his pockets.

 

"Says you, who hid their tattoo from me to make me look like an idiot. Or, wait, there's still whatever piercing you haven't shown me, because you think it'll benefit you or something." Keith answers, leaning on the desk towards Lance. Lance scoffs, leaning toward Keith.

 

"There's other ways you could figure out about that piercing. I'm surprised you haven't used any questionable tactics yet." 

 

"Are you giving me permission to use dirty tricks?"

 

"Mm, I guess so." Lance hums, staring at Keith. Keith takes a deep breath.

 

"Good to know." He states, resting his hand partially under his jaw, fingertips pressed on his lip, smiling.

 

" _Coran_!" Lance coughs, leaning off of the desk, and Coran walks over, from wherever he'd been lurking.

 

"Yes, dear boy?"

 

"Anything I need to do?" Lance asks, a little rushed.

 

"Well, if you wouldn't mind cleaning up Matt's workstation while he's gone, that'd be splendid. He never cleans it." Coran pats Lance's shoulder. Lance nods in agreement.

 

"See ya, Keith, I've got a workstation to clean!" Lance winks, jogging off to Matt's workstation. 

 

Man, fuck Costco, at this rate he's going to tell Keith here at the shop or some shit. He has to survive 2 weeks without acting on any of this. None of it. 

 

 _Never_ make a deal with Allura.

 

\----

 

Lance is standing in the cereal aisle, Hunk standing next to him, going on about various trace elements and minerals the human body needs. 

 

"Hunk. I love Keith." Lance says, and Hunk stops for a second.

 

"I know, you broke down about it at the party a few days ago." Hunk says, as if this isn't news. Technically it's not. 

 

"No- it's, I don't know if I can uphold my deal with Allura, dude."

 

"She didn't say there would be consequences if you acted earlier. She just said she'd reward you and prefer it if you wait two weeks." He tells Lance, picking up a box of some fruit flavored cereal.

 

"That's true. Just... what'd you bet?" Lance groans, tired.

 

"I bet you'd eventually start dating. No set date limitations, but I did bet it'd be when at least two other group chat members were around."

 

"So you went with the how, not the when?"

 

"Yep. But if my how overlaps with someone else's when, then we split it in half, and I win half, along with the other person." Hunk clarifies, throwing a huge bag of discount cereal into the cart.

 

"We should all do something soon then." Lance argues, and Hunk laughs.

 

"Dude, you're one slippery snake if you're going behind Allura's back to also grant my bet."

 

"I figure, Allura bet $40, Shiro bet $20, you and Pidge both bet $10, so you'd get $40, and Allura would get her money back."

 

"Yeah, but she offered to pay you $80, so she'd lose that." Hunk adds, and Lance snaps his fingers, "Right."

 

"I just won't take the payment then." Lance shrugs.

 

"But if you're not taking the payment then what's the point in waiting two weeks, when you seem to want to say something earlier?"

 

"Damn it, Hunk. Stop making sense. Shit."

 

"It's all good, Lance. Tell you what, buy me two gallons of chocolate milk, and I'll say we're even." Hunk pats his shoulder.

 

"This is why you're my best bro."

 

"Thanks, dudeguy."

 

"Anytime, bro, man, friend." Lance answers.

 

"Let's go get some chocolate milk dude pal, bro, buddy."  Hunk points towards the back of the store. Lance nods in agreement.

 

"So, on another note, how's your apprenticeship coming?" Hunk asks, leaning on the handle of the cart as he pushes it.

 

"Boring? I don't know, it's less than I hoped it would be, but better than what I actually thought it would be. Overall, a B-. A little lacking." Lance explains.

 

"Mm. How about your mentor? I mean, I know Matt, we all know Matt, but what about what's his name? Is it Corn? It's not Corn, who names their kid Corn." Hunk states, trailing off to talk to himself halfway through.

 

"Coran? He's cool. Sort of like, a british uncle. A cool british uncle with a motorcycle. And a sweet mustache."

 

"Nice, good to know he isn't a jerk or something." Hunk grins, opening the fridge doors and handing Lance 2 gallons of chocolate milk.

 

"Wait, what are you--"

 

"You gotta carry them. You're buying them. Besides, it's good exercise, and you're trying to impress a boy, so." Hunk says, slightly evilly.

 

"You _hypocrite_ , you haven't worked out since you were 12."

 

"Yes, this is true." Hunk grins, tapping at the cart handle as he starts back off towards the registers. Lance catches up.

 

"Do you think Keith works out?" Lance mutters. 

 

"Please refrain from getting _too_ gay in here, would you? This IS a public place." Hunk laughs, and Lance kicks him in the leg, since his arms are full of milk.

 

"I'm just asking a question, you jerk."

 

"And I'm sure you're not imagining Keith all sweaty and panting." Hunk glances at Lance, judgingly.

 

"Well, I mean, now I am, because you said that. Thank you for fueling my gross sexual thoughts." Lance tells him. Hunk fake gags.

 

"I don't want to hear about anything sexual ever again, blech. Don't speak to me, don't look at me, don't even breathe near me while you're thinking like that."

 

"I'm sorry, my precious angel. I have mangled your innocence." Lance fake sobs, setting the milk down at a self check-out register.

 

"My innocence was torn apart as soon as you walked into that cursed dorm room." Hunk clarifies, paying for whatever he's buying. Lance does the same.

 

"Tell me the truth, Hunk. Would you trade me for a different roommate now that you know me?"

 

"No, of course not." Hunk answers, throwing bags back into his cart, and taking the milk from Lance.

 

"Alright, well it was great running into you, but I'm afraid I have a boy to impress at home."

 

" _Please_ tell me that wasn't meant to sound that sexual."

 

"It wasn't meant to sound that sexual, but it did, and I don't regret it." Lance answers, shooting finger guns at Hunk, waving goodbye, and heading towards his car.

 

From: Keith

Pidge is here.

 

From: Keith

Pidge left.

 

From: Keith

I could've just not told you Pidge was here in the beginning and you would've been none the wiser. 

 

To: Keith

good to know I suppose??

 

From: Keith

They left something for you, though. I'm tempted to open it.

 

To: Keith

if you do I will personally suffocate you in your sleep.

 

From: Keith

Like I would open it.

 

To: Keith

did you open it.

 

From: Keith 

Of course.

 

To: Keith

you little bitch.

 

Lance turns off his phone, starting his car and leaving the store, heading to the house. For some reason, this is the perfect time for 2 people to call him, and text him 13 times.

 

He checks it once he's inside, laying over the entirety on the couch. Nothing much, just Shiro saying random things, and Pidge quoting some meme in response.

 

"Pidge left this for you," Keith says, dropping a shirt on Lance's face, "Also, why the fuck are you taking up the whole couch?"

 

Lance unfolds the shirt, and it's just a plain black t-shirt with ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) printed in red on the front. Interesting.

 

"I'm taking up the entire couch because hey, guess what, there's other seats." Lance shrugs. Keith scoffs.

 

"That's real thoughtful of you, Lance. Glad you're my friend."

 

"Anytime." Lance grins. Keith grimaces.

 

"Seriously though, move over or I'm going to sit on you." Keith argues.

 

"Oooh, how nice."

 

"Yeah, not in a good way, fucker."

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Okay so if pidge has a type and so does shiro then whats keiths type :3c

 

From: Pigeon Gum

i dont think someone can pinpoint their type just like that so maybe just like whats ur fave hair color or eye color or some shit

 

From: Keith

I'm really indifferent.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

u piece of shit tell me at least 1 of these goddamn things so i can find u a good lover

 

To: Group msg

please never say that again.

 

From: Keith

I don't know? I guess blue eyes are nice if I had to pick? Why are we basing this on looks?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k) 

We're not basing it on looks we're just asking what you'd prefer if you could pick :/

 

From: Keith

Well I could describe what I'd currently like, but, I won't. 

 

From: Pigeon Gum

goddamnit keith u inedible pudding cup tell me

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Tell US!!!

 

To: Group msg

yes. tell the world.

 

From: Keith

What's that face Pidge always sends to the chat?

 

From: Pigeon Gum

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) u mean this

 

From: Keith

Yeah, that's my response to all of you.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

( ͡° _ʖ ͡°)

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Keith why don't you love me enough to tell me what you like in a person appearance wise at the moment :'(

 

To: Group msg

you made Hunk sad, Keith.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

keith hunk is sad and its ur fault how could u hurt a perfect angelic being

 

From: Keith

Jesus, I don't know? Maybe taller? Tall, blue eyes, there you go.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I'm mildly less sad so :(

 

From: Keith

I don't have anything else to say.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

keith hunk will bake u cookies if u tell him ur fave hair color and 1 personality trait u like

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I promise I will :3c

 

From: Keith

Fuck you. 

 

From: Keith

Hunk, can I tell you outside of the group chat?

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Yeah of course :)

 

To: Group msg

goddaMNIT YO U GUYS STO P IT WITH RHE SECRETS!!

 

From: Pigeon Gum

chill out lance ur time will soon come

 

From: Keith

There, Hunk knows.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Oh I know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Lance throws his phone at the wall. Not hard. 

 

He's got 3 days, until the 30th. Until he can do something. Until Lance will stop increasingly noticing random endearing shit Keith does. Lance thinks maybe Keith is purposefully doing more cute or attractive shit as the days tick by, but Keith would have to know about the bet, and the deadline for Pidge's bet for that. Not to mention Keith would actually have to like Lance to want to participate in said bet. Lance doesn't want to discount that as a factor, but he's also never had someone actually like him, as more than a mediocre looking tattoo artist they could use to piss off their parents.

 

Who knows.

 

"Lance, it's Friday. Get out of bed." Keith says quietly,knocking on his doorframe.

 

"Coran gave us the day off, remember?" Lance tells Keith, looking over at him. He's wearing the baggiest, least flattering goddamn pajamas he's ever seen, hair haphazardly pulled up, caught in a few piercings, and he's still the cutest person Lance has seen all year, no doubt. Man, _fuck_ Keith. 

 

"Did he?" Keith asks, leaning against Lance's door, pulling hair out of a few ear piercings.

 

"Yeah, asshole. He said it before we left yesterday. He was like, 'yeah guys take the day off tomorrow, no one made any appointments' and I was like cool, I get to sleep in. And here you are, waking me up." Lance sighs. Keith snorts.

 

"You were awake when I got up here, shithead. I was just saying you should get out of bed. But, I guess, if we have the day off, feel free to stay in bed as long as you want." Keith tells him, still standing in the doorway.

 

"Mm, Keith?" Lance yawns, and Keith looks over at him.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Pick a movie, from, uh, that shelf there." Lance points, and climbs out of bed. Keith looks oddly astonished.

 

"What?" Lance asks, putting a shirt on. Keith shakes his head.

 

"I think this is the first time I've actually been in your room." Keith answers, walking over to the bookshelf completely packed with movies. Lance wants to argue that point, but no, Keith is completely correct. He's just been in the doorway, shouting at Lance to get up. Or, more recently, knocking on his doorframe and gradually getting louder in asking him to get up.

 

"What's this one about?" Keith tosses Lance a movie, and Lance catches it.

 

"Well, you could read the description on the back, but, Real Genius? Uh, it's good. One of my favorites, it's about this kid that--"

 

"Let's watch it." Keith interrupts.

 

"What?"

 

"It's one of your favorites, right? Let's watch it." Keith states as if Lance is being stupid for not knowing what the fuck Keith means. Lance is more than a little happy that Keith wants to watch one of his favorites just because it's one of his favorites, however. Lance nods, leaving the room. Keith follows, jogging downstairs for a minute before coming back up, phone in hand.

 

"Why do you need your phone to watch a movie?"

 

"Why do you need to ask stupid questions?" Keith retorts.

 

"True. Did you know I made Hunk watch this four times?" Lance hums, starting the movie. Keith laughs, "Why?"

 

"Like I said, it's one of my favorites, and anyone willing to watch it with me is automatically going to be exposed to it multiple times, in the hopes they'll love it as much as I do." Lance explains, looking over at Keith, who's watching Lance happily, interested in what he's saying. God, this is like some shitty romance novel. 

 

Of course, this would be the part where he kisses him, but Lance is terrible at kissing. And being romantic. Bad at most things related to dating in general, besides bad pick-up lines and mediocre flirting skills. He has no idea what the fuck he'll do on Monday. Probably cry and beg Keith not to hate him.

 

"Has it worked?" Keith inquires.

 

"Has what worked?"

 

"Showing people the movie multiple times to see if they'll like it as much as you? Has anyone ever liked it as much as you?"

 

"Well, no." Lance sighs, climbing onto the couch. Keith nods, setting his phone down on the coffee table.

 

"I'll do my best, then." Keith twists his hands into his hoodie pocket. _Cute_.

 

"Ah, thanks." Lance grins, resting his head in his hand as the movie starts, leaning against the arm of the couch.

 

Everytime something important or funny happens, Lance looks over at Keith, keeping track of how he reacts. He must like the movie though, because he's smiling most of the time.

 

Lance doesn't even realize the movie's over when it is, because he's too busy studying Keith's profile. Keith looks over, stretching out his arms.

 

"So. Popcorn." Keith notes.

 

"A fuck ton of popcorn." Lance nods. Keith sighs, looking at the TV again.

 

"That was good."

 

"On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate it?" Lance asks, taking the disc out and putting it away.

 

"Solid nine." Keith says, picking up his phone.

 

"Nice. Most of the time I get sevens or sixes. Hunk gave it an eight. I gave it a 9.5."

 

"So, I _almost_ loved it as much as you." Keith hums, and Lance nods.

 

"Almost. You're the closest so far though, so congrats." Lance grins, sitting in front of the TV.

 

"Anything you want to play? Wii wise." Lance taps at the wii. Keith shrugs.

 

"Nothing comes to mind." 

 

"Mkay, well. I'm gonna check my phone." Lance tells him, and Keith nods, turning on his phone as well. Nothing new, just Pidge saying mildly suggestive things on the group chat.

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Hunk.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

What's up :v

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

how the fuck will I tell Keith.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Well you'll probably say something like hey keith I like you can we date :/

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

it's a Friday, and the shop is closed. Fridays are our busiest days, why is it closed???

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Whoa you're changing the subject real fast owo;;

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

is this one of Allura's tricks?? is she closing the shop today so Keith and I have to hang out????

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Lance honestly calm your crap everything's good -_-

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

I can't do this Hunk. I gotta tell him.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Then tell him allura didn't say she would punish you for telling him before the dates she bet :3

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

eueeuuuggghhh I want to.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Then do it :)

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

hhhnnhnnhhngg that's exactly my problem, I don't know H O W to tell him!!!!! by the time I figure something out, it'll be Monday anyway.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Listen I have to go but if you need anything else tell me :v

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

actually, can I stay the night at your house on Monday??

 I may have started hatching a plan for my demise A.K.A telling Keith.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Of course :D

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

That's my boy -w-

 

\----

 

It's raining outside, cold and wet, mildly inviting. Why is it inviting? Because for some goddamn reason, the air conditioning has failed to work. So, it's intensely warm, at 8 pm, and it's gross, not to mention it's slowly getting hotter. This probably has nothing to do with the shoe Lance accidentally kicked into said air conditioner. Why was Lance in the garage, kicking shoes? The answer to that, is hey, stop asking questions.

 

Keith is just as irritated, saying something about just sleeping at a motel or something. Lance would agree with that, but Keith has, for some reason, not completely committed to the idea. Like he's waiting for something. Eventually, Keith says something and rushes down to his room, and Lance is left sitting in front of the back door, cool air just barely blowing in. 

 

It's somewhat peaceful, despite the growing discomfort of being this hot for this long. Lance would lie on the floor, but eventually he'd warm the floor up, and his back would get sweatier than it already is, and he's _not_ doing that.

 

There's a large metallic clang from behind him, and Lance whips around, watching Keith plug in a moderately large fan. He consciously avoids the fact Keith is shirtless, his jacket tied around his waist. There's a _lot_ to avoid.

 

"Where the fuck do you store that shit?" Lance mutters, and Keith shrugs. The fan turns on, and practically everything within a ten foot radius starts moving around.

 

"It's not mine, it was just downstairs in the closet." 

 

"Well, Allura is well prepared, I guess." Lance coughs, rolling his sleeves up again.

 

"Lance, _why_ are you still wearing your jacket."

 

"I don't know, in case I went outside to cool down, maybe." Lance states. Keith scoffs.

 

"If you were going to do that, you already would've."

 

"Oh my god, Keith. What if we camp outside? Like, tents and stuff?"

 

"Allura doesn't have a tent, and I am NOT using a tarp." Keith tells him, sitting in front of the fan. Lance whines, standing up and walking over into the fan's range of motion.

 

"Do you think Allura and Shiro go well together?" Keith asks, leaning over onto himself, like some weird attractive yoga teacher.

 

"Well, it's not like I've personally sat in on one of their dates,.but I'd say they're a pretty good couple. But, they did start dating what, like a week and a half after they met. Maybe it's some 'love at first sight' shit." Lance answers, sitting on the floor across from Keith.

 

"That's not a bad thing. I'd date someone after a week if I liked them enough."

 

"Have you ever liked someone enough in a week to want to date them, though?" Lance inquires, and Keith laughs.

 

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." 

 

"Me too." Lance sighs, leaning back on his arms. Keith sits up, and folds his hands together. Lance looks at the tattoos he hasn't seen before, face probably getting more red than it already is, thanks to the heat.

 

"Lance."

 

"Yep?"

 

"Take off your fucking jacket, you're going to have a heat stroke." Keith tells him, and Lance grins.

 

"You sure you don't want it off for other reasons?"

 

"Firstly, fuck off. Second, I'm _positive_ you're wearing a shirt under your jacket." He scoffs. Lance shrugs, pulling his jacket off.

 

"Anyway, have you ever had the love at first sight thing?"

 

"No, and I've never wanted it." Keith states, looking into the fan oddly. Lance nods, "Me neither."

 

"Oh! I know what this reminds me of! Truth or dare." Keith claps his hands, looking over at Lance.

 

"Yeah, but you can't play truth or dare with two people. I've said it before, I'll say it again, if you're playing with only one other person, there's unresolved romantic and or sexual tension." Lance explains, clasping his hands together and placing them in front of his mouth. Hadn't Keith heard Lance say that before? Whatever.

 

"Yeah, no, I know. I know. When do you think Allura will get back? She'll probably know how to fix that damn heater." Keith sighs, pulling his hair up. 

 

"Mm, I don't know." Lance stares at Keith. Keith runs his hands over his face, leaving a hand under his jaw, looking over at Lance.

 

"Where's your fifth piercing?" Keith hums, grinning, tapping at his jaw. At the moment, Lance definitely wants him to know where it is, and you know, maybe do things involving other piercings, but he's got barely enough sense to keep it to himself.

 

"Not- it's not."

 

"That's definitely an answer." Keith laughs.

 

"I'm trying my best here, Keith." Lance coughs, and Keith puts his hands up in surrender. Lance wants to kick Keith in the stomach, but he also doesn't, because Keith deserves only the nicest of things. The front door opens, and Allura steps in, making a disgusted face.

 

"Jesus, the heater again?" Allura says, taking off her jacket. Lance breathes a sigh of relief, because his shoe was not the cause of this predicament. Allura jogs out to the garage, coming back in a minute later, shooting a thumbs up in their direction.

 

"You fixed it?" Keith asks, tilting his head back to look at Allura. Lord, save Lance.

 

"Yeah. Should cool down soon, in the meantime, you two should shower, because you look gross." Allura sighs, putting a hand on her hip. Keith nods, looking back at Lance.

 

"Do you want to shower first?" Keith asks, grinning.

 

"Uh, no, it's- no."

 

"Alright, suit yourself." Keith stands up, walking downstairs. Lance gets up, walking over to Allura.

 

"Let me guess. Your shower is going to be a cold one?" Allura whispers, and Lance glares at her for a second.

 

"Fuck off. How's your boyfriend?" 

 

"Pretty good, yours?"

 

"Goddamnit, Allura, I don't need this tomfoolery! I have plans to make and people to get rejected by." Lance exclaims. Allura grins.

 

"Are you talking about your Monday plan? Hunk told me. I wouldn't consider it a plan. More like a guideline for a coward." She laughs.

 

"Well that's me, the coward. I've just never actually liked anyone as much as I like Keith, so it's like... I'm not sure I could do a big grand confident thing, when I can barely look at his damn _shoulder_ without internally condemning myself to hell." He mutters, tapping at the wood of the half wall in between them.

 

"Oh my god, Lance, that's so cute. I'm gonna _cry_ , that's so adorable."

 

"Please, never speak to me again. I never should have said anything." Lance tells her, putting a hand up to his face. Allura sighs.

 

"In all seriousness, though, I'm glad you like him, and I hope everything goes well. Which it will. Don't worry, momma knows all." Allura winks, heading upstairs.

 

"Allura, what do you know." Lance says, and Allura just grins and winks again.

 

"ALLURA, _PLEASE_!" Lance yells, and she cackles, walking into her room. Lance huffs. At least Allura is happier nowadays. Hopefully, Lance can say the same about himself in a week or two. His phone vibrates on the coffee table, and he walks over, lazily picking it up.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

okay even 4 me that was tmi

 

From: Pigeon Gum

whoop that wasnt 4 u but hey u do what u can

 

From: Pigeon Gum

anywho hows ur day

 

To: Pigeon Gum

it's alright. weird but alright.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

thats nice good cool im glad so hows keith also

 

To: Pigeon Gum

he's great as per usual, and also I hate you.

 

From: Pigeon Gum

aww thank u lance i always knew u thought of me as ur bff

 

To: Pigeon Gum

somehow, I can hear Hunk getting ready to fight you for that title.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Lance feels vaguely like a shoelace. That's all he's got. Nothing poetic or analytical, he's just a shoelace. Take a wild guess what day it is. If you guessed any day other than Monday, you're wrong.

 

In the words of a particularly famous orange cat, "I hate Mondays."

 

Lance is already fully dressed and ready to go, at 6:30 am, after he couldn't sleep until 2:15. He's lying on his floor, halfway out the doorframe, rethinking his entire life. This will work. It's fine. But what if he just, forgets how to drive? Is this a shitty way to tell Keith? It seems a little mean, now the he thinks about it. Oh god, it's going to sound like a joke. Fuck. 

 

Why, of all the things Lance could do, was he doing this? Because he wants Allura to not hate him? No, he would've done it soon anyway. Fuck, he isn't nearly as prepared for this as he thought. Maybe this would be better as a surprise, unplanned, sort of thing? 

 

No, it'll be fine. Lance has this down, he was practicing until goddamn 11. This will go smoothly, he swears to god, from the first fucking hour of work, to eventually getting rejected by Keith, everything will be _perfect_. 

 

What if Keith doesn't reject him? Well, he hasn't exactly _considered_ that possibility, but you know, there'd probably be kissing? Maybe? What are you supposed to do if the boy you're in love with says he likes you? Lance has suddenly forgotten all his previous relationships, and he feels like an 8 year old with a recess crush, it's disgusting.

 

He supposes, in the event that Keith says 'fuck it, I guess I'll date this piece of garbage', Lance wouldn't be able to even look at Keith for DAYS, let alone kiss him, because then Keith -attractive, funny, secretly nice, goddamn KEITH- would be his boyfriend. And Lance wouldn't know what to do with that. Lance sighs, opening his phone and staring at his contacts. Who would be up at 7, and who would want to hear Lance's stupid internal monologue.

 

To: Shit oh

please.

 

From: Shit oh

Please, what?

 

To: Shit oh

do you think it'll be okay?

 

From: Shit oh

I assume you're talking about telling him? In that case, yes. No doubt.

 

To: Shit oh

my plan isn't shitty or mean or anything?

 

From: Shit oh

No, Lance. It's great.

 

To: Shit oh

hhhnnnNNN N NNG okay.

 

From: Shit oh

One thing, though. If you're going with this plan, charge your phone well. 

 

To: Shit oh

it's fully charged, don't worry.

 

From: Shit oh

But will it still be fully charged by the end of the day?

 

To: Shit oh

even if it wasn't, Hunk has chargers at his house.

 

From: Shit oh

Good. I'll see you tomorrow.

 

To: Shit oh

what's tomorrow???

 

From: Shit oh

I'm getting my tattoo, Lance. You're doing a good chunk of it.

 

To: Shit oh

yikes, sorry I forgot.

 

From: Shit oh

It's not a problem. Good luck today, and again, see you tomorrow.

 

To: Shit oh

bye.

 

And on that note, Lance turns off his phone, comfortably at 98% battery. He spends the next few hours trying and failing to sleep, on the floor, in his doorframe.

 

When he does eventually give up, it's after he faintly hears Keith's alarm. He begrudgingly stands up, walking downstairs, and grabbing his keys. Keith audibly jumps when he sees Lance.

 

"Jesus, you're up already? We don't have to be there for a half hour. I thought you hated getting up earlier than you had to?" Keith mutters, walking into the kitchen. Lance shrugs.

 

"I do, but my beauty sleep has been restless the last few days, unfortunately. Can't you tell?"

 

"Mm. No. You look just as good as always." He answers, crossing his arms. At this point, Lance wants to run away to France and become a famous painter, known for painting an ethereal mysterious black haired man with more than enough tattoos for a lifetime. He won't, of course. Hunk would make him pay for plane tickets when he visits (which would have to be often), and Lance doesn't think traditional artists of any kind bring in that kind of cash.

 

"Sure I do." Lance scoffs, and Keith sighs.

 

"You always look great, Lance. No amount of sleep, _or lack thereof_ , will change that."

 

Lance is physically thanking Keith, awkwardly; but mentally, he's kicking the closet in front of him, squealing and slamming his own shoe into the door.

 

"I bet if you get there early, Coran would let you practice stock tattoos again." Keith says, mindlessly walking downstairs.

 

"That's true, but I've had more than enough practice with stock, good god, I could tattoo someone in my sleep. I'm good."

 

"You could always tattoo me." Keith jogs back upstairs, now with a jacket on. Lance coughs.

 

"What?"

 

"You could always tattoo me? I was thinking about maybe getting another one. Wouldn't hurt to have you do it." Keith repeats, clarifying.

 

"I mean, yeah? If you wanted. But there's like, a million better artists." Lance states, opening the front door.

 

"So?" 

 

"Okay, well, if you're dead set on having me do it, where would you want it?" Lance inquires, stepping outside, Keith following behind, shutting the front door. He looks occupied for a moment.

 

"Probably my hip. Don't have one there, yet."  Keith shrugs, tapping at said hip. 

 

Lance is very, very mildly thinking about that. Having to tattoo Keith's hip. There'd be a lot of touching involved with that, and it'd be just... terrible. Lance wouldn't be able to even touch his goddamn thigh without becoming a giant burning ball of flame. Jesus.

 

"Yeah, I could probably do that." Lance lies. Keith grins.

 

"I'm going to hold you to it, you know. Now you owe me a tattoo." Keith tells him, breaking away from Lance's side to head towards his car. Lance nods, yelling his understanding, and getting into his own car.

 

Fuck Keith and his stupid piercings, and his stupid tattoos, and his fucking face. Goddamn it. Lance rests his face in the middle of Bart's steering wheel, causing the horn to sound, loud, and long due to Lance's thoughts about Keith's goddamn tongue piercing.

 

For someone who will quite possibly break down if given the chance to just hold Keith's hand, Lance seems to think about that fucking stud in Keith's tongue a lot. Lance pushes his thoughts to the side, starting up his car, and leaving for the store.

 

He's thrown off by Shay greeting him at the door, rather than Coran. Ah, right. Monday.

 

"Sorry, Coran's interrogating Matt on why he's been so absent for the past few business days." She smiles, leaning back in the spinny chair, usually located at the front desk. She must've rode it around the shop, as Lance has done more than once.

 

"Mm. When do you think he'll be done, I gotta talk to him about taking most of tomorrow off?" Lance says, quietly, so Keith doesn't hear. Shay looks confused.

 

"Uh, probably a few minutes? What's going on tomorrow?" She inquires, leaning towards Lance. The movement of her dimple piercings when she talks is oddly hynotizing.

 

"Okay, if I'm being completely honest, I'm gonna do something stupid and idiotic tonight, and it's probably for the better if I'm not necessarily here tomorrow because of it." Lance explains, and Shay nods in understanding.

 

"Alright, I can accept that answer." She chuckles. Lance grins, thanking her.

 

"Hey, where's Coran?" Keith walks over, and Shay relays the same information again.

 

"Ah, I see. Anyway, what were you talking about over here?"

 

"Nothing really, Lance just said he was going--" Shay is interrupted by Lance fake coughing really loudly.

 

"Sorry for the interruption, sorry. We were talking about how I was going to stay at Hunk's tonight!" Lance laughs awkwardly. Shay must pick up on what he's trying to do

 

"Yeah, that, and the fact he wants some new piercings." She adds.

 

"You want more piercings, huh?" Keith asks, and Lance nods, taking a deep breath. He actually does, a bit. But not until his tattoo is peacefully and correctly healed, which it's pretty close to being.

 

"Oh, yeah, of course." Lance tells him, and Keith has that fucking look where he actually looks interested in what Lance is saying. The cute one that feels disturbingly romantic.

 

"He said he wanted, what, two cartilage piercings on his left ear, and what else?" Shay hums, and Lance looks at her.

 

"And uh, I don't- hip piercings! Right."

 

"You seem to like microdermals." Keith states, putting his hands on his hips.

 

"They're pretty cool, I'll admit." Lance smiles, and Shay giggles.

 

"Anyway, he was telling me that he'd love to do that pretty soon." Shay sings, spinning around in the chair, tucking her ashy brown hair behind her insanely pierced ears. Must have like, 10 in each ear, jesus.

 

"Good to know, I suppose." Keith tells her, looking back over at Lance.

 

"Lance!" Coran calls, his familiar ' _lonce_ ', hard to forget. Lance salutes Shay and Keith, signifying he's leaving the conversation, jogging over to Coran.

 

"Yeah, what's up?"

 

"You'll be cleaning today, unfortunately. Besides that, business as usual!" Coran grins, striking some odd wonder woman pose.

 

"Alright, but- wait, could I have most of tomorrow off? Shiro's the last tattoo of the day and all, and I'm probably gonna wreck up the chain of power here for a good solid twelve hours." Lance asks. Coran looks like he's trying to determine whether or not to go to Walmart to get cookie dough at 3 am. 

 

"We already took Friday off, Lance. Given, we had no appointments, and traffic was bad so there wasn't much business, but we still took Friday off. Perhaps if you specified your reason I could assist you to the best of my abilities." Coran explains, tapping his finger on his jaw in thought. Lance looks over at Keith, who's discussing something with Matt and Shay, comfortably. God, he's great.

 

"Okay, listen, I don't know if you're aware, but I love Keith? Like, I would personally be this man's _stepping stool_ if he asked. Fuck, I love him. And uh, anyway I'm gonna make a huge ass of myself and tell him when we leave the shop today, and you know, I'll figure shit out during the time I have off? So, that's uh, that's that. I love Keith, and I'm telling him." Lance whispers, Coran intently listening.

 

Coran looks over Lance once or twice, and then twists around to look at Keith. When he looks back at Lance, there's a moment of odd silence.

 

"I'll accept your excuse, on the grounds of a bet." 

 

Not again.

 

"Uh, yeah, what?"

 

"I bet you 2 days cleaning duty that he'll say yes." Coran bargains, and Lance pulls his head back in confusion.

 

"You're betting he'll say yes?"

 

"Of course, my boy. I know a good couple when I see one."

 

"I, uh, I guess I'll take that bet?" Lance answers, and Coran vigorously shakes Lance's hand.

 

"Glorious!"

 

\----

 

From: Ay lure

Hi! Just checking in on you. How's today so far?

 

To: Ay Lure

I feel like you really just want to know when I'm telling Keith??

 

From: Ay lure

You're partially correct. So?

 

To: Ay lure

later. when we leave.

 

From: Ay lure

Ah. Well, text me if you need anything, I'll do my best to help.

 

To: Ay lure

shut.

 

And Lance sighs, looking at his phone's battery. 32%. Damn it, Shiro, you know everything. He's still got two hours of work, at least. If he isn't on it the entire two hours, he should have a good amount left, right? Or, enough to tide him over until he gets to Hunk's. Damn, he's got two hours.

 

Jesus, it's either really hot in the shop, or Lance is just violently nervous, and probably sweaty. If Keith has any sort of romantic feelings toward him, he sure won't now. Lance looks sick, as though he needs a hospital. He's sure he's quite the sight to look at right now, his entire face flushed red, probably heating everything within a two foot radius, anxiously and rapidly tapping his pen on the front desk. 

 

And he's still got two hours.

 

"Lance! How's it going with- uh, are you... _feeling_ okay?" Matt says, walking over, growing slower the closer he gets to Lance, like Lance is contagious. 

 

"I'm not sick, if that's what you're asking." Lance sighs, twisting to look at him in the goddamn swivel chair.

 

"Well, it looks like you might need an ambulance, bud. What's going on?" Matt laughs, leaning on the front desk. Lance stares at him in complete shock. How the hell does Matt not know? Does Pidge know about the plans? If they did, would they tell Matt?

 

"You... don't know what's going on today?" Lance asks, scooting over closer. Matt shrugs.

 

"Nope."

 

"Fuck, okay, I'm probably not the best person to explain this right now, despite being the one in this situation, so just, ask Coran. He knows." Lance groans, resting his head on the desk. 

 

"Coran's doing a tattoo, Lance. You walked the guy in practically two minutes ago. He can't tell me." Matt chuckles, leaning down so Lance can see him. Lance sits back up, and for a second it feels like he might actually puke on Matt. Matt must sense that, somehow, because he takes a step back.

 

"Ugh, sorry. Okay, uh... right, Keith. I love Keith, in case you didn't know. And basically, I'm gonna tell him when we leave today but dear god, I'm probably gonna pass out before anything happens." Lance mutters, registering Matt's split second expression of surprise, followed by exasperation.

 

"Lance, my guy, I can guarantee you it'll be fine. You might want to get some water to drink, though? And a pizza." Matt says, stepping toward Lance again, and patting his shoulder.

 

"Oh please, like I could find pizza in here." Lance laughs, feeling somewhat less terrible. 

 

"See, that's where you're wrong. I'm sure you could find some pizza, under the racks in the piercing room or something. Admittedly, it'd be old."

 

"Disgusting." 

 

"Mm. I'm going to the store real quick, need anything?" Matt asks, pointing at the door.

 

"Yeah, maybe tater tots." Lance tells him.

 

"Why tater tots? What the fuck?" Matt's face is one of genuine confusion.

 

"Just... accept my request." Lance says, and Matt sighs in defeat. 

 

"Alright, see ya." Matt slaps the counter as he heads towards the front door, leaving the shop.

 

The real reason Lance had asked him for tater tots, was due to an old rule Hunk had about anyone coming over to stay the night. They brought him tater tots, and in exchange, he would give them refuge from whatever they needed refuge from. Hunk was a blessing.

 

Hunk was quite possibly the only neutral person in this situation. He's never been sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, and he's never wanted to be. So, if Lance gets rejected, Hunk is there to help him with whatever he needs help with whilst actually telling it like it is, without sugarcoating that shit. And hey, if the slim chance Keith will say yes ends up somehow working out, Hunk would probably throw a goddamn party. 

 

He's always had some sort of celebration whenever Lance starts dating someone, as long as he'd known him. Now that he thinks about it, Hunk could just be being a jerk and pointing how little Lance dates. Who knows. 

 

"Jesus, Lance." Keith says, suddenly at the end of the desk.

 

"What?"

 

"You look like you're dying." Keith tells him simply, as if stating a fact. 

 

"Do I? Who would've guessed." Lance laughs, and Keith has just the slightest bit of worry on his face.

 

"I'm fine, though. I swear. Nothing's wrong." Lance clarifies, turning to face Keith.

 

"If you say so. On another note, have you talked to Allura recently?"

 

"Yeah, just a minute ago, actually." Lance answers.

 

"Yeah? Doesn't she seem happy?" Keith asks. Lance nods.

 

"I'd be pretty happy too, if I was dating Shiro. I mean..." Lance raises his eyebrows, looking at Keith.

 

"Shiro's nice." Keith tells him, obviously misreading what Lance is saying. Either way, it's cute. Keith smiles, crossing his arms, leaning on the desk.

 

"Mm." Lance sighs, looking at the tattoos on Keith's arm for the thousandth time. Keith seems unbothered.

 

"Oh, uh, I forgot. Coran told me that his tattoo's going faster than he thought, so he'll probably close the shop early?" Keith mutters, leaning up a bit.

 

"Shit, really?"

 

"Yeah, is that bad?"

 

"No, just- I gotta tell Hunk I'll be early." Lance blurts, and Keith nods, grinning and excusing himself, jogging off towards Coran.

 

"Goddamn it, Coran." Lance mumbles, under his breath.

 

He spends the next half an hour sitting in the same chair, vaguely resting. He figures that if he spends a good twenty minutes trying to sleep, he'll calm down. It works. At least until Matt tosses a huge Costco bag of frozen tater tots at his stomach seconds before Coran announces they're done for the day. What a terrifying couple seconds. 

 

And, oh what a _terrifying_ time the next ten minutes will be.

 

Keith walks up to the front door, locking it, and turning on the lights that illuminate the front half of the store, so Lance walks to the back door, opening it for Matt and Coran. Coran shoots a look at Lance that somehow says 'good luck with Keith and also don't forget your jacket.' Coran must be telepathic or something. Lance runs back in to grab his jacket. Keith grins at him, halfway across the store, grabbing his own. Lance takes a deep breath.

 

"Hey, so, I'm going to go, do you mind closing the shop?"

 

"No, why would I?" Keith scoffs. Lance looks at him.

 

"No reason. Also, side note, I'm like, _completely_ in love with you in a million different ways. See ya tomorrow!" Lance says, a little louder than expected, so that throws him off. Of course, he's already fucking _booking it_ to his car, clutching his jacket and a huge ass bag of tater tots, face burning hotter than the goddamn sun, so that doesn't really matter. He's halfway out of the parking lot when the rest of the shop lights go off. Keith's not running outside to argue with Lance though, so either Keith didn't hear Lance (doubtful), or he doesn't care, which means, tada! Lance is going to get rejected.

 

He eventually pulls over in front of some stupid craft store, pulling out his phone. 16%. He's got 13 messages. Four are from Keith, and he's determined not to open those until he gets to Hunk's. The others consists of 7 in the group chat (Shiro telling Pidge about eyeliner), and 2 from Hunk.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Oh yeah alright I don't really mind when you come over :)

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

Did you do it :o

 

To: (h)(u)(n)(k)

yes. I also have your tater tots.

 

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)

How is that important right now >:/

 

Lance turns his phone off, starting his car up again. He gets 3 more messages on the way. Could've been more, but he's pretty sure his phone died.

 

He parks in front of the small little condo, practically kicking in Hunk's door a minute later, laying down on the soft 70's shag carpet seconds later, and breathing in the calming scent of vanilla and honey. Hunk shuts the front door and looks down at Lance.

 

"So? What happened?" Hunk asks, and Lance coughs.

 

"I don't know. My phone died. I might vomit." Lance stands up slowly, grabbing the charging cord from Hunk's living room charger. Thank _god_ Hunk has a charger in each room.

 

"You're kidding me? What if he said yes, and you're keeping him waiting?" Hunk scolds him, oddly like a mother.

 

"Hunk, I have your tater tots." Lance tells him, tossing the bag of tater tots towards the kitchen, as if this will change the subject. He's still desperately clinging to his phone, waiting for it to turn on. Hunk sighs, walking over to grab the tater tots and put them in the freezer.

 

"You're _so_ inconsiderate when you're in love." Hunk sighs.

 

"Well, hey, it's not like- fuck, it's turning on." Lance interrupts himself, vigorously tapping at the screen, as though that will somehow speed up the process of the boot up. Hunk excuses himself to go check on something, probably just not wanting to invade Lance's privacy.

 

There's 8 messages from Keith.

 

From: Keith

Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just tell me you loved me?

 

From: Keith 

I can't believe you just declared your love for me and ran off. That's like, so bad. 

 

From: Keith

Well, not bad, necessarily. Just not what I would do.

 

From: Keith

Aaaanyway, if I'm correct in the sense that you did tell me, I'm g

 

From: Keith

Sorry, oh my god, what the fuck. I'm just really... wow.

 

From: Keith

I've spent the last five texts basically stalling myself, jesus fuck. What I would like to say is that, I'm glad you told me, before I told you because I would've backed out at the last minute.

 

From: Keith

Oh my god is that why you looked sick? 

 

From: Keith

Jesus, I love you too, I wasn't going to hate you or anything. I can see why you might think that, but I can assure you I don't hate you right now. 

 

To: Keith

hhh HHH MNMMNNNNGG

 

To: Keith

I DONT

 

To: Keith

hooOO boy does this mean we're like, dating??? I have forgott en all rules of this shit I'm so flabbergasted.

 

From: Keith

I would say yes? Yeah.

 

From: Keith

WHAT TGE FUC K thOUGH

 

To: Keith

iM SoRRY M,Y PHONE DIED AND I J UST 

 

From: Keith

GODDAMNIT LANC E

 

To: Keith

FORGIVE ME

 

From: Keith

FUCK I LVOE YOU

 

To: Keith

PL EASE KEITH YOURE K I L L I N G  ME

 

From: Keith

N O FUCK OF F I LOVE YOU

 

To: Keith

I LOVE YOU TO O.YOU ASSHA T

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA BE LIKE, ALL TEXTING JUST A WARNING
> 
> how u guys like THAT, hahah I really got u guys good, haha that was such a big surprise


	14. The Inevitable Texting Chapter

From: KEITH!!!  
If you love me why are you making me work as the only apprentice today.

To: KEITH!!!  
because I wanted to make sure you didn't try to kill me / actually liked me??? I'm gross, I know.

From: KEITH!!!  
You're not gross.

From: KEITH!!!  
I swear to god, if Coran asks me about you one more time.

To: KEITH!!!  
did you tell him?? we had a bet.

From: KEITH!!!  
I did. I also showed him everything you sent yesterday.

To: KEITH!!!  
yuch, why???

From: KEITH!!!  
Because I thought it was nice? Why else.

To: KEITH!!!  
ew, get your romantic shit out of my face, I love you.

From: KEITH!!!  
I love you too. Please don't ever come back to the house.

To: KEITH!!!  
somehow, I feel like those two sentences are contradictory????

From: KEITH!!!  
Lance, if you come back to the house, I guarantee I will unintentionally avoid you.

To: KEITH!!!  
if I'm being honest, I would end up doing that too, so wouldn't the avoiding conflict with the other avoiding, resulting in no avoiding because they cancel each other out??

From: KEITH!!  
I don't think that's how it would work.

To: KEITH!!!  
aren't you supposed to be working???

From: KEITH!!!  
Coran insists I talk to you until the conversation naturally ends. It's weird.

To: KEITH!!!  
he's like a school dance chaperone, I bet.

From: KEITH!!!  
He also asked if we'd kissed yet.

To: KEITH!!!  
so, anyway I have a doctors appointment and I just realized I'm also late for a wedding, I have to go.

From: KEITH!!!  
Lance, I swear to god. 

From: KEITH!!!  
I told him no, and he gave me a weird look.

To: KEITH!!!  
well you can if you want???

From: KEITH!!!  
I can what?

To: KEITH!!!  
Keith, you shitlord.

To: KEITH!!!  
you can kiss me????????????? like if you wanted, but I'd likely end up bursting into flames before you could.

From: KEITH!!!  
PL EASE MNEVER SAY THAT AGAI N

To: KEITH!!!  
you can kiss me if you want, Keith.

From: KEITH!!!  
S T O P

To: KEITH!!!  
I give you one free pass to kiss me, whenever you like. just fc UCKING WALK. UP AND KISS M E IF U WANT I GIV EU A FREE PASS

From: KEITH!!!  
IM LEA VING

To: KEITH!!!  
my love, why must you hurt me........... please return....

*****

To: Pigeon Gum  
he's killin me, Pidge.

From: Pigeon Gum  
what im confuse

To: Pigeon Gum  
oh. my god. the great Pidge Gunderson hasn't received the big news yet....... oh shit....

From: Pigeon Gum  
i stg lance ill cut all ur hair off if u don't explain

To: Pigeon Gum  
this is best explained in the ancient art of screenshots.

To: Pigeon Gum  
(Image Attached)  
(Image Attached)  
(Image Attached)

From: Pigeon Gum  
fucking shit 

To: Pigeon Gum  
I'm L I V I N G.

From: Pigeon Gum  
smh if u dont kiss him by the end of the week

To: Pigeon Gum  
don't even try me bitch, I'm barely able to comprehend the fact we're dating.

From: Pigeon Gum  
new bet

From: Pigeon Gum  
will keith be the one 2 initiate the first kiss or will it b lance

To: Pigeon Gum  
fuck off.

*****

From: Ay lure  
Okay, what the fuck happened? Shiro and I are dying here.

To: Ay lure  
where's my cash.

From: Ay lure  
Lance.

To: Ay lure  
no, give your phone to Shiro

From: Ay lure  
Fine.

From: Ay lure  
Why do I need to use Allura's phone for this.

To: Ay lure  
shut. the answer to your suspicions is yes.

From: Ay lure  
So, you're definitely dating?

To: Ay lure  
yeah and oh my goD SH IRO I LOVE HIM

From: Ay lure  
Well, that was already obvious.

To: Ay lure  
oh my god Shiro, what the fuck do I do now? I probably couldn't even look at him right now he's so G O O D. I am undeserving.

To: Ay lure  
EEUUUGH

From: Ay lure  
If I kiss Allura within the week, will you kiss Keith?

To: Ay lure  
that's unfair you've probably already kissed.

From: Ay lure  
Incorrect, he's done nothing but stare at me longingly and hold my hand like a weenie. It's cute, admittedly.

To: Ay lure  
did you steal your phone back?

From: Ay lure  
Yes.

From: Ay lure  
If you kiss Keith within the week I'll pay you an extra $20.

To: Ay lure  
I feel like this is getting dangerously close to prostitution. you're pimping me out.

From: Ay lure  
I could be a pimp.

To: Ay lure  
I'm leaving.

From: Ay lure  
B)

****

From: KEITH!!!  
Fuck you, you piece of shit.

To: KEITH!!!  
what????

From: KEITH!!!  
Pidge will not stop sending me shitty romantic pickup lines, and articles about marriage, so thank you for causing this.

To: KEITH!!!  
lmao tell me one.

From: KEITH!!!  
I'm going to say no.

To: KEITH!!!  
what are boyfriends for, Keith. shitty pickup lines.

From: KEITH!!!  
I doubt that's what they're for.

To: KEITH!!!  
yeah they're for other things too.

To: KEITH!!!  
damn you could read that a million different ways and most of them are real sinful.

From: KEITH!!!  
Where are you?

To: KEITH!!!  
still at Hunk's, why?

From: KEITH!!!  
Nothing. Hunk owes me cookies, remind him.

To: KEITH!!!  
he says he'll buy you a bake pizza. like, the ones you stick in the oven and make yourself.

From: KEITH!!!  
What kind of shitty cookie scam is he pulling.

To: KEITH!!!  
you just, put the pizza in the oven, Keith. its good.

From: KEITH!!!  
I'll stick that goddamn pizza in your oven if you don't shut up. I was promised cookies and Hunk is dishonoring the agreement.

To: KEITH!!!  
breaking news!!! Keith likes sticking pizzas in other people's ovens.

To: KEITH!!  
he doesn't have enough chocolate to make them, is what he said.

From: KEITH!!!  
Whatever. When are you coming to the shop?

To: KEITH!!!  
around 6:30. that's when Shiro's getting his tattoo. I think Hunk wants to see the shop as well, so he'll probably be coming in for a bit, why??? are you dying to use your free pass to kiss me????????????

From: KEITH!!!  
Right, I forgot Shiro was doing that today.

To: KEITH!!!  
goddamn it Keith.

From: KEITH!!!  
I refuse to acknowledge the rest of that text. Besides the part about Hunk.

To: KEITH!!!  
why though??

From: KEITH!!!  
Because it'll kiLL ME YOU PIECE OF SH IT

To: KEITH!!!  
cute.

From: KEITH!!!  
Leave.

To: KEITH!!!  
you don't really want me to leave. you love me.

From: KEITH!!!  
I do.

To: KEITH!!!  
you do want me to leave, or you love me??

From: KEITH!!!  
Both.

To: KEITH!!!  
cruel......... I love you too though.

From: KEITH!!!  
inDNso

To: KEITH!!!  
mkay.

*****

To: Group msg  
y'all need to quiet down.

From: Pigeon Gum  
thats what allura is gonna say at night p soon lmao

From: Shit oh  
Jesus, Pidge.

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)  
Judging by how much time lance has spent on his phone screeching into the arm of the couch there's not gonna be any sort of serious PDA anytime soon he's like a toddler at recess talking to his crush I have pictures :3

From: KEITH!!!  
Oh my god. That's perfect.

To: Group msg  
like you're probably any better right now, assface.

From: KEITH!!!  
I'm not. But at least there's no pictures of me.

From: Pigeon Gum  
(Image Attached)  
(Image Attached)

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)  
That's adorable oh my gosh look at Keith :'D

To: Group msg  
I'm cryin, this is too much.

From: KEITH!!!  
Where the fuck did you even get those?

From: Pigeon Gum  
my Sibling™

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)  
I feel like I should even the playing field and send the pictures of lance so

From: (h)(u)(n)(k)  
(Image Attached)  
(Image Attached)

To: Group msg  
to think I trusted you.........

From: KEITH!!!  
Perfect.

To: Group msg  
I know you are but what am I?

From: KEITH!!!  
I'm going to kick you in the stomach the next time I see you.

From: Pigeon Gum  
u guys r gonna be in ur 70s by the time u even kiss each others cheeks at this rate

From: Shit oh  
Watch them just completely go the opposite direction, as the annoying PDA couple with no regard for those around them.

From: Pigeon Gum  
ya and theyll make out in random places

From: Pigeon Gum  
shiros probably right bc u kno hes like never been wrong

To: Group msg  
did I ask for this????

From: Pigeon Gum  
u got it anyway pal have fun violently kissing ur bf

To: Group msg  
please.......... no.

\----

Hunk walks in the room, wearing a jacket that would make an 80's popstar jealous. Seriously, the amount of yellow and green dayglo on that shit is blinding.

"Where'd you get that jacket?" Lance asks, staring at him in disbelief.

"Thrift store."

"Okay, now... Why?"

"It was the cheapest, and I needed a jacket." Hunk shrugs. Lance squints.

"Why are you wearing it now?" Lance huffs, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"So I can embarass you in front of your coworkers and also your boyfriend. Not to mention it's pretty comfy. It grows on you." Hunk tells him, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We don't have to leave for another 30 minutes, Hunk."

"I'm getting into the embarassing friend role, and that takes preparation." Hunk answers mindlessly, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"This ought to be fun." Lance grins, walking back to the couch, and sitting down.

"Oh, definitely." Hunk agrees, sitting next to him, "I get to watch you and Keith be awkward as hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gOtta BLAST


	15. Chapter 15

Keith is staring at his phone intently, his free hand over his mouth. Lance hasn't responded in ten minutes, which either meant he was on his way, or something else happened. Keith can't figure out which one he'd prefer more.

 

"Keith, you alright?" Shiro asks, leaning against the wall beside the front door. He'd arrived early, as he had been told.

 

"Mm. Yeah. Mostly."

 

"Is it Lance related?" Shiro leans off the wall, walking over to the desk. Keith is tired of everyone asking if something is Lance related. Not because it isn't, but because he's tired of answering when these people already know the answer.

 

"Yeah, shut the hell up." Keith sighs, leaning on his hand. Shiro grins.

 

"Do you think you'll kiss him?" Shiro asks, quieter than usual.

 

"I'm never speaking to you, or Lance, ever again."

 

"Oh, please. It was just a question. I was asking more in the range of if you wanted to, not if you were going to." Shiro clarifies, crossing his arms. 

 

"In that case, yes, I would love to. You nervous about your tattoo?" Keith changes the subject. Shiro shrugs.

 

"A bit, but it's overpowered by the sheer amount of adrenaline I have. You'd never think getting a tattoo would get you this pumped."

 

"You're getting a sleeve, Shiro. You realize this will take at least two appointments?" Keith asks, and Shiro nods.

 

"I know. I'm just hyped." Shiro tells him, tapping at the desk with his fingertips.

 

"Well, I'm glad." Keith sighs, turning his phone on. Still nothing. 

 

"I'm sure you're hyped too, but for different reasons." Shiro laughs, knowingly. Keith has the sense not to kick him. _Barely_. He'll probably kick Lance for not telling him if he's on his way. That's a lie; now that Keith is officially dating Lance, he can't bring himself to think about actually hurting him. Maybe he'd kick him gently.

 

"Fuck off. That's the 37th time someone has said anything about me being excited to see Lance and or kiss Lance, and I am, a little bit, but it's not enough for me to be screaming my ass off. It's a mild excitement."

 

"It's still something." Shiro states, looking over his arm.

 

"I guess." Keith mutters.

 

His phone is still silent, sitting there, just waiting to be used. Jesus, he loves Lance, but this is exhausting. It's been what, 20 minutes, and Keith wants to see him, wants to hear from him, wants a lot of shit. Maybe Lance is prematurely avoiding him in awkwardness. Keith kicks the desk, causing it to jump up off the floor just a bit. Shiro is startled by the noise, staring at Keith.

 

"Where the fuck is Lance."

 

Shiro shrugs, tapping at his forearm. Coran is setting up to do the tattoo and Lance isn't even here. Does Lance not want to do it? Because Keith would gladly take his place. Of course, he doesn't want to take the opportunity from him, that would be shitty and mean. Goddamn it, fuck Lance and his stupid--

 

"Keith!" Hunk claps, walking in the back door, wearing some shitty neon jacket. Shiro waves, and Keith nearly falls out of his chair.

 

"Hi, where's Lance?" Keith asks, and Hunk laughs.

 

"Straight to the point. He's still in his car. I think he's mentally preparing himself to see you." Hunk explains, looking around the shop. Keith groans, covering his face, which is probably a nice shade of red.

 

"That's so cute, I'm going to fucking stab him."

 

"I'd say that's an appropriate response to finding something cute." Shiro mutters sarcastically. Keith hisses.

 

"Shut up, or I'll stab you too, you filthy--"

 

"Yes, hello, it's me." Lance blurts, standing a few feet away from Hunk. Keith snaps his attention over to Lance, who's smiling at him and anxiously pulling at a loose string in his jacket. Keith feels sick. In a good way? _Gross_.

 

"Hey." Keith says, voice somehow cracking through the one fucking word he says.

 

"Hi." Lance responds, a little quietly.

 

"You're my boyfriend." Keith states, talking mostly to himself. Lance nods.

 

"That's true. You're also my boyfriend." Lance replies. Keith physically feels his face heat up, and he rushes to cover a good half of his face with his hand.

 

"Oh my god, Keith, please don't." Lance is undeniably flushed with color as well.

 

"What? What'd I do?" Keith asks, through his hand.

 

"You're being cute, please, I'm dying." Lance answers, leaning to the side and pressing a hand to the floor, slowly laying down.

 

"Fuck _off_ , shithead." Keith mutters, slapping his hands on the desk.

 

"Keith. I'm dying. Those are your last words to me? I cannot _believe_..." Lance fake sobs, covering his face.

 

"Those wouldn't be my last words and you know it, asshat!"

 

"I love you." Lance sighs, staring at the ceiling from his resting place in the middle of the floor.

 

"I love you too." Keith huffs, leaning over the desk just a bit to look at him. Lance is smiling, practically fucking glowing and Keith wants to scream, he's so good and adorable.

 

"Sorry to interrupt your conversation, you two, but Lance has a tattoo to help with." Coran hums. Keith looks over, and Shiro's already where he should be, waiting. Keith didn't ever notice him move. Of course, he didn't notice Hunk walk over next to him either.

 

"Let Keith do it. Matt doesn't let him practice. I can help in the second appointment." Lance says, sounding somewhat tired. Keith can't tell if this is Lance being lazy or romantic or just nice. Coran thinks this over for a moment before asking Shiro if he's alright with it. He is. Keith takes a deep breath.

 

"Fuck you, I hate you." Keith huffs, walking over and leaning over Lance. Lance laughs softly.

 

"Okay, fucker, now go do this shit." Lance points back at Coran from the floor. Keith kicks his shoulder. Gently. But to everyone else, it'd probably look like it hurt.

 

He jogs over to Coran, who looks oddly amused, vaguely registering Lance saying something about Costco.

 

\----

 

While Keith's cleaning up whatever mess was made, Coran's bandaging Shiro's arm, and telling Shiro about his own tattoo sleeve experiences and tips on caring for it at first. Shiro looks like he's intently listening.

 

Keith finishes cleaning at practically the exact same time Coran finishes talking, and he's about to walk out of the room, but of course, Shiro stops him.

 

"Keith."

 

"What?"

 

"He's serious about that free pass." Shiro states.

 

"Jesus, can you read minds or something?" Keith blurts, twisting around to look at him.

 

"No, Lance sent Pidge screenshots talking about it, and Pidge sent them to me, and Hunk. Screenshots spread, Keith. Nevertheless, I can guarantee that while Lance is probably going to be the most hopelessly romantic person you've dated, he's going to be absolute garbage at doing anything first." Shiro hums, standing up and tapping at his arm's bandages.

 

"Shut up, I know." Keith answers, and Shiro nods. Keith awkwardly leaves the room, finding Coran talking to Hunk. 

 

"Where's Lance?" Keith asks, mentally kicking himself for asking that more than twice today.

 

"He yelled some nonsense a few minutes ago, then ran to his car, and drove away. Said he'd be back." Hunk tells Keith, sounding just as confused as Keith feels. What the fuck could Lance need so badly.

 

Lance was an unpredictable but somehow still predictable ball of tangled personality traits. But, whatever Lance is, or does, Keith undeniably loves him, like some shitty romance movie where the man says he'll die for the girl, or that he'll love her no matter what she does. He hates the fact that this feeling reminds him of the bullshit you read about in books, and see on TV, because you never think that's a fucking real feeling. And if you do, it's because you've felt it.

 

Hunk and Coran continue with their conversations, and Keith opens his phone. He's got nothing. It doesn't matter. As long as Lance is fine, Keith doesn't have anything to worry about.

 

To: Lance

I love you.

 

From: Lance

I love you too.

 

From: Lance

that's gay.

 

To: Lance

Go fuck yourself.

 

From: Lance

sounds like voyeurism.

 

To: Lance

I'm punching you in the face when you get back.

 

From: Lance

would you really punch me??????

 

To: Lance

No, dumbass. Why would I do that.

 

From: Lance

I dunno.

 

To: Lance

You know what I just remembered?

 

From: Lance

yeah what??

 

To: Lance

That you haven't seen all my tattoos.

 

From: Lance

do not try me right now, I'm at a goddamn gas station convenience store, and I swear to god I will not stand for you and your sinful remarks.

 

To: Lance

Wasn't sinful, I was just pointing out you haven't seen them all.

 

From: Lance

sin.

 

From: Lance

you goddamn sinner.

 

To: Lance

You're the one who thought I meant something different. Doesn't that make you the sinner?

 

From: Lance

leave.

 

Keith turns off his phone, walking over to stick it in his jacket pocket, before walking back over to Hunk and Coran, fully aware Lance didn't actually want him to leave. Shiro joins in on the conversation a few minutes later.

 

"Do you think I could kill a man?" Hunk asks Shiro, completely seriously. Shiro squints, looking over Hunk.

 

"I genuinely can't tell. On the one hand, you've always been kind and caring, but on the other hand, that gentle exterior could hide your murderous instincts. But, overall, I vote no." Shiro answers, putting a hand on his hip. 

 

"I'd say yes. If you really wanted to kill a man, you could." Coran adds. Keith points at Coran, nodding to signify his agreement.

 

"I'm afraid you're all wrong. I would be down with injuring someone if they had wronged me enough, but I would never kill them." Hunk explains, crossing his arms. 

 

"Understandable." Coran hums.

 

"Anyway, Keith. When can I come over to play Mario Kart again? Preferrably with multiple people." Hunk asks, excitedly. Keith assumes he doesn't have Mario Kart himself, otherwise he'd play it.

 

"Would you be coming over _exclusively_ to play Mario Kart?" Keith asks, tapping at his side. Hunk shrugs.

 

"If that's more convenient, yeah. But I would also like to hang out with my best friend's boyfriend a little more, you know? Give you the old 'don't hurt him' talk." Hunk beams. Keith grimaces.

 

"I'd appreciate it if you would never do that." Keith groans, and he probably looks like he's regretting his decision to date Lance. He's not. And he wouldn't, it was a good decision, and he's glad he made it.

 

"I volunteer to do it, in his place." Shiro blurts, grinning. Keith glares at him, and he laughs.

 

"Getting off track here, my friends. When could I play Mario Kart?" Hunk interrupts.

 

"If you just want to play Mario Kart, then anytime I'm home is fine." Keith sighs, crossing his arms. Coran snaps as though he's remembered something, and looks over at Keith.

 

"Keith, would you mind cleaning up for the day? You're free to leave once you're done."

 

"Sure, yeah. Are you staying?" Keith answers, backing out of the circle they've somehow formed.

 

"Indeed! At least until the conversation is over." Coran states, tucking his hands behind his back. Keith nods, walking into the piercing room. somehow missing the click of the back door.

 

"Hey fuckers, it's me." Lance yells, and Coran invites him into the conversation. Keith, having to clean, and being painfully confused on how exactly he should interact with Lance, is perfectly okay with this development.

 

Keith does listen to their conversations as he walks past them or around them as he picks random shit up, and cleans whatever supposedly needs cleaning, and the topic seems to be embarrassing stories, as the word embarrassing has been thrown around more than a few times. Of course, it's definitely endearing to hear bits and pieces of whatever story Lance is telling about garbage cans.

 

Lance, throughout the whole story, is using wide and overexaggerated hand gestures, and acting as though he was living the story again, jumping back or looking from side to side mysteriously every once in a while. It's cute, and if Keith wasn't cleaning, or trying to figure out how the fuck he should talk to Lance, he might've kissed him. Emphasis on the might have. Keith hasn't kissed anyone since he was 17, and that was in the laundry detergent section of a Walmart, when his partner at the time learned he hadn't ever french kissed anyone. That was an experience. That entire relationship was an experience. Mediocre, at best.

 

The point is, even if Keith thought Lance suddenly dropping into the splits in the middle of the shop was extremely attractive, he has no idea what he's supposed to do with that. Is he supposed to tell Lance? Is Lance just, supposed to know? Should he kiss him for that? He wants to kiss him for that. Oh dear GOD, he wants to kiss him for that.

 

By the time Keith is done cleaning, and trying to calm himself down out of sight from whatever kind of fucking gymnastics Lance was doing, the others have split up into two groups.

 

One being Lance and Hunk, the other being Shiro and Coran.

 

Ultimately, he decides to join Shiro and Coran, after some intense internal battle with himself.

 

"Oh yeah, I understand, there's not a lot of people nowadays that keep more than 4 cats." Shiro nods, and Keith has no fucking clue what the hell they're talking about.

 

"I, myself, am fond of cats." Coran grins, and Shiro grins.

 

"Well, that's good! I mean, if you have 2, it's likely you have some sort of adoration for them, yeah?" Shiro asks. Keith sighs, putting his arms at his sides. He realizes he can hear Hunk and Lance's conversation as well, if he leans back a bit.

 

"--him. I mean, holy shit, I could cry over it." Lance hums, followed by what sounds like 'bless'. Hunk chuckles.

 

"You realize you're dating him, right?" Hunk responds.

 

"Hunk, do you even know me? I could _barely_ tell him I wanted to date him, how do you expect me to _kiss_ him."

 

"I dunno. Eventually, he'll do something and you'll find it attractive or romantic enough to kiss him. Or the other way around. He'll see you do something attractive or sweet enough that he feels he should kiss you. It's simple, from what I've seen." Hunk explains. Keith realizes he's leaning back insanely far, and he just takes a small step back to compensate.

 

"I'm- Jesus, Hunk. I already think he's perfect and attractive enough to kiss, and I have for weeks, thanks for noticing. The problem is that if I do it, I know it'll suck, and just- eeeugh." Lance groans, and Hunk sighs.

 

"You once described yourself as the god of kissing, Lance."

 

"Yes, well, I was overhyping myself. At the point I said that, I think I'd kissed maybe... three people? And I didn't love any of them as much as the fucker I'm currently enamoured with." Lance tells Hunk, sounding a little bored, and Keith's face gets warmer, if that's possible at this point.

 

"That's so cute." Hunk sings.

 

"Fuck off, I'm not- wait, it's really quiet. Like, did Coran and Shiro stop talking?" Lance asks, and Keith snaps his attention back to Shiro who are both looking at Keith in a seemingly knowing manner, and Keith kicks Shiro in the shin. Coran starts up whatever conversation they were having again, and with that, Lance continues talking about Keith in his false sense of security. 

 

 _God_ , Keith loves him. Fuck.

 

"--lost again." Coran says, as Keith attempts to focus on the conversation. He can't register anything after that. The only thing he can seem to make out is the somehow painful repetition of 'kiss him' in his head. And eventually, he just gives up, half-jogging over to Lance. Lance is in the middle of greeting Keith, before Keith is kissing him, probably badly. Lance doesn't argue, and just puts a hand on the side of Keith's face. Keith notes the way Lance's smile feels against his, and then Lance brings his other hand up to Keith's face, before pulling back.

 

"Okay." Lance states, dazed. Keith huffs, and Lance goes right back into kissing him, a little more prepared. And it's odd how quickly it escalates to hands in Keith's hair and Lance's shirt getting caught on Keith's bracelet, and Keith vaguely registering something in Lance's mouth.

 

"I'm, uh, I'm just gonna go?" Hunk blurts, pointing at the front door. This catches Keith's attention, as well as Lance's, given by his sudden pulling away from Keith, followed by a hasty apology thrown at Hunk. Hunk laughs.

 

"It's fine, dude. I have to leave anyway. This was just a reminder." Hunk tells them, saluting as he walks out the front door. Lance sighs, before he seems to come back to himself, clearing his throat, pulling his shirt down, and running his hand through his hair.

 

" _Yeah_." Lance mutters, leaving his hand on his head. Keith has a hand over his mouth, like he could say something stupid at any second. What exactly would he say that warrants that?

 

"Lock up when you leave, if you would." Coran hums, waving and leaving out the back door. Shiro's nowhere to be found, which means he probably left. You miss a lot when you're making out with someone, Keith supposes.

 

Lance drags his hands off his head and down his face.

 

"I swear to god if you bring up--"

 

"So you have a _tongue_ piercing?" Keith interrupts, grinning underneath his hand. Lance groans.

 

"Fuck off."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write kissing for shit, but here u go, please don't hate me


	16. AUTHORS NOTE

_Hi, thank you for reading this! I'm sorry it didn't end very well and I'm posting this authors note about 2 years too late but I really appreciate all of you that read this and especially all those who commented such nice things about my writing and such, I was going through a really rough time and they always helped me. hopefully you enjoyed it?_

_again, thank you_


End file.
